Oct 13, 2007

I could use your HELP!

Hi Friends;

I am looking for your imput, as we are needing to find a new pediatrician for our 6 children and counting {our next adoption(s)}.

What questions should I ask, it has been 12 years since we switched pediatricians, due to an unexpected death of our dear, Dr. Breer, an older solo practitioner. When we chose our new Doctors group, it was based on the sad situation that we "had" to find a new doctor, though we had been so 'in love' with ours already. Yes, we did interview, never finding one we really longed for.

After several interviews we went with our current practice, it has never been a love relationship, tolerance would be a much better word. My last visit with my three wee ones (adopted in March) pushed me over the edge- it was like I was going through an interrogation, the last straw was when 3 female adults behind the desk came when I asked an insurance form question (we changed the kids names and hadn't received their new cards yet)....well, the three said, "They are so cute!" "oohhh, awhhh..." "Those two look alike, but the littlest, HE CAN'T BE THERE SIBLING...HE HAS BLOND HAIR AND BLUE EYES, AND NO RESEMBLANCE." (I kid you not, right in front of them). The newest Dr. to the practice saw us, she was definitely not home school friendly and began drilling my kids as to what they, "knew", at one point giving my 5 year old son, King Meemer, her pen and asking him to write out his answers on the papered table. (yes, he did answer/draw them correctly, sigh).

I am longing to find someone personable, knowledgeable, kind, friendly, respectful, open to helping us with our adoptions (mostly post), good with teenage girls (make them comfortable during exams), and accepting of homeschooling.

I'd love to hear what you'd ask-if you were doing the interviewing.

Thanks so much-you are all so sweet!


Cahleen 何凱琳 said...

Wow! I can't believe what that doctor did! Do people really give you a hard time about homeschooling? I've been through the public education system, and I'll never forget how we all just sat and played cards in my senior year English class. I'm sure your kids will learn a lot with you as their teacher!

Becka said...

Kimmie, after going through five pediatritions in the matter of a couple of years, I finally decided that I would hire one I like and give him the low-down on our first visit. here is my speech, feel free to use it.

"I wanted to let you know that I have chosen to hire you to advizeand assist me in the medical care of my children. i have hired you only to that that one single job. should you ever persist in leaving those boundaries, I will fire you just as easily as I hired you and I will not give you good references should I choose to fire you for behavior that is unbecoming to a doctor. This inclues, telling me how to parent, or bullying me in any shape or form. I make all final decisions regarding the health care of my children. You may roll your eyes outside of my presence, but when myself or my children are with you, you must treat us with the respect of a person who has hired you...not with the disdain so often offered us by most doctore who think they are the creator and we are the creation. Unh unh. I am the hirer, and you are the hiree. Final.

My present doctor laughed his butt off at me. Told me it was the best speech he had ever heard and that he would be honored to be my employee. He often disagrees with the decisions I make, but he is quich to say..."but you are the boss...whatever you say goes." then he gives me these puppy dog eyes and says, "Please don't fire me." LOL. It worked for me and I use it in every dr situation I encounter. At the emergency room, I am quick to remind the dr that he is not the King and I the subject, but that I am indeed a customer who can choose to take or leave whatever it is he offers me.
The first time was awkward, but now I feel empowered.

Lovella said...

Oh I do hope you find someone worthy of caring for these sweet babes. In Canada there is very little room for making moves between doctors. We get what we get . .
I admire your determination to find the very best. blessings on you.

nsremom said...

I'm not a dr. basher, as my dad happens to be one, BUT...I am not a dr. worshiper either. That drives me insane.

I had a pediatrician ask me about having a gun. I found the question ridiculous. How does this help my kids medically? And since there's NO medical necessary reason for them to ask....they SHOULDN'T. 'Cause if they start small and ask little questions like gun ownership....they'll soon feel empowered to ask anything they please. To dangerous consequences I think.

Good luck on your search...it's not fun. :)

p.s. You can always ask the front desk ladies. They're pretty likely to dish to you if you ask nice. (I was one once...as was Gayle, we BOTH would have given you an earful.)

Christin said...

Wow. Can I take Becka with ME to the doctor? I consider myself pretty bold, but don't think I could fire that speech off. :)

We've never officially "interviewed", having just gone off of friend's recommendations. But I have found that I like doctors who have more than 2-3 kids. That way, I know that they KNOW that every child is different and can't be put into a "box" of expectations. So they are less prone to push their parental philosophy off on you regarding your child.

so maybe that's a question? It goes outside the realm of the office, but...it gets down to the nitty gritty on their clue on raising kids on a daily basis...and not just checking them out for 10 minutes with a stethoscope.

If you're really bold, you could ask if they believe in the healing power of Jesus. I always like to know I'm putting my children's health issues into the hands of someone that doesn't think that THEY are God. We just found a doctor that is willing to admit that the parents know the child better than he does!! *a rare gem in the medical community*

OH. And I ALSO like to know that I'm with a doctor that won't just medicate my kids to appease me, the parent. My mom has been a nurse for 30-some years. And yes, there are doctors that do this. sad.

I know I babbled, but there are some of my random thoughts. *wink*

Sarah said...

This is such a difficult decision! We do not take our kids to a pediatrician, but a family doctor. The same doctor I went to as a kid. And I LOVED, LOVED him. Then he went and retired on me this summer!! How dare he!! We will be seeing the replacement doctor in December (all three kids have well child visits scheduled), but I don’t have high hopes and maybe looking for a new doctor next year. His physician Assistant gave me TONS of grief when I took Natalie in for thrush (because she had not been to see the doctor in 3 long months!!). I really do love Becka’s speech though!!

Jenni said...

Oh gosh, that's a tough one. The hardest part for us is when it comes to immunizations. We have been treated so disrespectfully for our decisions in that regard, and I don't stand for that. We finally found a family doctor willing to say "I'd do it differently, but you are the parent of your child and I respect that". What a relief!

I just don't deal with pediatricians at all. Those that I have met have the biggest god-complexes of all. I find the family practicioners to be much more willing to give one credit for having some brains of one's own.

I definitely think your reasons for leaving the other practice are excellent, if not horrifying to hear about! I pray you find a wonderful doctor with whom you can establish a long and harmonious relationship!

I don't know what other advice to give! We go to the dr. very rarely...

Quinne said...

Hi Kimmie :) I am praying with you as you search - it will be a joy to lift you up in this.

I don't really have questions to share, as we are blessed to have our family doctor from when I was a teenager (way back when - lol).

I do highly recommend using a GP or family doctor. Ours is, and I love the perspective and wisdom this gives him. Also, the staff adores visits from us, since they don't see very many littles. Love, Q

Nunnie's Attic said...

I can't even imagine my pediatrician giving a "lesson" during an exam. And the women behind the counter?? I would have politely asked my kids to sit down and told them exactly what I thought of the obviously rude and insensitive comment that they made. And if you haven't yet, Kimmie - do that!

I changed pediatricians a few years ago and went with an old family friend who only has one other doctor in his practice. But I've known him forever so...

Good luck with your search.


Tracy said...

I did meet with our Dr. before "hiring" him, but I can't remember what I asked! I felt comfortable with him RIGHT away. Sometimes you can get a good idea just by spending a few minutes talking with them. He came highly recommended by several of my friends (which is a good place to start)and he had 3 children, one who was born the day after my youngest. That has been great because we chat about our kids all the time. I do remember my older boys were at that first meeting (Ethan was in my belly!) and he was great with them even in the meeting. Hope you find someone soon!

BittersweetPunkin said...

Kimmie...I added you to receive the SMILE AWARD too! Your blog always makes me smile...for some reason I thought you were named by someone else....I very much want you to have it too!!!

julie said...

Oh my goodness, that sounds awful. How incredibly rude and insensitive.

I am on my own search for a new pediatrician. Here's praying we both find one soon.

BittersweetPunkin said...

Have you asked other Home Schooling Mom's in your area about a DR referral? If you have a family chiropractor they are a good source of information also as they specialize in alternative medicine. I am a big mouth and very much speak my mind.....I had a new lil neighbor whose Dad is a 4th grade teacher tell me just yesterday that home schooling isn't as good as public school...guess where he got that opinion? I told him to tell his Dad that if he wanted to come over and talk to me I'd be more than happy! I am very forward with my feelings....I've had plenty of practice all the years I had to be my son's advocate while he was in public school.
Blessings to you...I didn't want you to feel I ignored your post as I know what you are going through right now.

UKBob said...

Hi Kimmie, I can see why you would want a change, that place stinks! I'm not really sure what questions to ask as we seem to just have what we're given here. Based on what you said I would feel like asking some personal and insulting questions like how much money they make and when was the last time they did something for the love of it! Hope you find someone to your liking. Bob.

Anonymous said...

I stopped going to a pediatrician years ago because they either severely overreacted or underreacted to different illnesses. I had my daughter at the hospital for agonizing procedures because the Ped. missed simple constipation that a few prunes would have solved. Then I had a different Ped. tell me to give my daughter a cool cloth when she had a fever of 105~!
I'd go to a tried a true general practitioner who is affiliated with your favorite hospital in your area who is in his 60's (I think male doctors make better decisions... sorry!)
If you ask questions... ask other moms!
Oh, and what a dumb thing those women said about your precious children! I have had people say some ridiculous things, too. One time, shortly after getting our first baby, our church was having a baby shower for me. One lady held my new miracle and said, "I feel SO sorry for you! You can't have one of your OWN, and it just ISN'T the same." (gimme back my miracle, you nasty woman!) Even though it was years ago, people STILL amaze me with their stupidity at what they say ~ sometimes in front of my kids, too.

Foxy5 said...

I found our current Dr through friends referrals. It's actually a family practice that also delivers - so the same Dr that cares for my kids also was there when they were born. We have a great r'ship. He knows all of us and we know him. I know all of his kids names and ages. If I have a question he'll take his time to answer. Enough about why I love my Dr :) I'd say your best bet is to question the locals. Call around and see who is good with adoption too. Some Dr's just aren't good with that. (As you've experienced) Good luck. I hope you find someone you love.

Robin said...

I can't recommend much. I interviewed a pediatrician when I was pregnant, and she was very nice and answered all my questions as I wanted. At our first visit, we got the 3rd degree for things that I had discussed with her during the initial visit. It was awful!
Our current dr was a friend's recommendation. She's not totally on board with us, but she respects my decisions, and that means so much. She is probably in her 50s, so maybe being older is better. It seems like some of your other commenters have has better luck with older drs, too. We've had a few problems with the newer (younger) drs in her practice, but we just stand our ground.
Getting friends' recommendations is the best thing I can recommend for you.

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