Oct 29, 2008

Struggling-warning feeling grumbly


My heart is very heavy.
We got news from our adoption agency last night, that our adoption will take longer than previously expected. Seems that Ethiopia is changing some procedures, trying to slow down adoptions for several reasons. They are saying, it isn't like Guatemala...which shut down to adoptions, but *nevertheless*...my heart is struggling. I am tired of crying, I'm sick of the no control. My years of infertility are making me weep-y or maybe it is just the past experiences.
The baby boy-*Juan* on the left was to be adopted by us, it fell through and he was adopted by another family. Our hearts were broken and it was hard to move on, we loved him and he had been transitioning into our home. Guatemala closed after 2 years of waiting, switched programs and now more unknown. Trying to be positive, but honestly I am struggling.
Pondering deleting this whole thing. I detest crying about this, but can't seem to keep it down any longer.
*Little Beauty* ...I'm so sorry.

27 comments:

Annie Chase said...

I'll be praying for you. Thank you for all the wonderful comments you leave on my site.

Renata said...

Oh no Kimmie ((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
I'll be praying.

The Arthur Clan said...

I'm so sorry to hear this...I can't even imagine how much your heart is hurting right now.

I will be praying for you.

Angie in OH

HandsRaisedToHeaven said...

Praying that God would give you strength as you wait. I have been finding much encouragement from Psalm 84. We're memorizing it as a family.

Emily said...

I read once that when Ruth Graham was struggling with not feeling like God was hearing her prayers, she remembered Phillipians 4-6. What was lacking in her prayers was Thanksgiving. She turned her petitions into praise. And God moved.

What are you thankful for today?

I'm thankful for your heart for children.

your turn.

Kimmie said...

Dear Emily;

You know I am thankful for you...but it probably hasn't been said aloud today...

standing on my chair..."I love Emily, she's my encourager! Thank you God."

Kimmie@overthemoonwithjoy

Carla said...

bless your heart, honey! I'm weeping with you, and for you. Hug up the ones you have, and just keep moving. (taking a little 'me' time won't hurt either:) Love to you and your family

The Red Thread Kids: said...

Oh Kimmie, don't delete. We all love you and stand right here with you. Our turn to hold you a moment now like you have done for us. Prayers go up from Arizona for you tonight.

julie said...

Oh Kimmie, I'm so sorry your heart is heavy. I know that your sweet girl will come home soon, it just might take a little longer than you thought. Court dates seem to be moving slower with adoptions picking up in Ethiopia but I am sure you will get one soon. Hang on, it will all be worth it in the end.

((Hugs))
Julie

Our Red House said...

Oh Kimmie, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you again. If I could hug you from across the world I would. God Bless and keep you and give you strength.

Kate xxx

K. Pirkle said...

Although I don't know you personally, I feel your pain. I have been struggling too with our adoption fiasco. We haven't gotten a referral to fall in love with like you have, which I know makes it so much more worse. We got on the waiting list for Guatemala and then it closed, got on the waiting list for Vietnam, and now it is closed. Wondering where to go next. Struggling to fight off the lies Satan is spewing at me... that perhaps God didn't want us to adopt, perhaps we misunderstood God when we thought we were to start last March, that we'll not have enough money to recover from the almost $13,000 we will lose if Vietnam doesn't open back up by Dec. 1., we barely had enough to start the adoption process the first time, let alone start over again WITHOUT a child to show for the first time.
God is good and whenever I get really down, He pops that song into my head "Great is Thy Faithfulness" "All I have needed, Thy hand has provided, great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me." And I remember who knows the big picture. Hope things speed back up for you.

Expat Mom said...

Oh, Kimmie! I`m so, so sorry to hear about yet another delay in being able to hold your baby in your arms. :( There`s not much I can do to help, but I really do hope things work out quickly and that you`ll have Little Beauty in your arms soon.

Michael and Michelle said...

I am crying with you! We WILL get our babies home! God has a reason/plan for this extra wait!
Have you spoke with your case manager yet?

Michelle

Bobbie-Jo said...

My chest tightened when I read your post. I'm so sorry about your frustrating news. :( A big hug to you and your family.

Cathy said...

I'm so sorry things are slowing down for you again. I pray that you would find favor with just the right people and that God's plan for you would come to pass for you and those you love sooner rather than later. He is faithful and His heart breaks for the orphaned as well.

Luke said...

I too hate the "no control" feeling. Ugh. Hang in there!

~Luke

pshannonpr said...

Oh no! I am so sorry! Big, Texas-sized hug being sent your way.

Melinda said...

Praying for you and completely understanding where you are coming from. The wait is so hard, but I take comfort in God's timing. If you have a chance check out my blog with a song that has touched me during this long wait. We have had our referral since April and now or new court date is Dec. 5th with travel not happening until January.
Hugs,
Melinda

Amy said...

I am so so sorry. I know the pain of waiting well. My prayers are with you. Love, Amy

Dawn said...

No weapon formed against you will prosper. Love and prayers, Dawn

mom said...

{{{{{Kimmie}}}}}

I'm so glad you didn't delete this post because how else would we know how much you need our prayers at this time?!

It seems to be a week of *raining*...I will be praying!

Blessings,
Tammy ~@~

Dreadnought said...

Hi Kimmie, I can't begin to imagine how hard it must be for you, I pray that you find the strength to carry on because that it the only way you will win through, you can't win if you aren't there at the end. All the best, Bob.

Randi said...

Sweetie, I am so sad to hear this! You will be in my prayers and on my heart. Seek His strength, dear friend, He will meet you!

Kristi J said...

soo sorry for your pain..I can't imagine how hard infertility and waiting must be...praying for you, Kristi johnon

Marilyn - A Mixed Bouquet said...

Bless your hearts! Waiting is so difficult, I know. I will be praying!

Last Sunday, I posted a video of Sheri Easter singing Praise His Name: http://www.amixedbouquet.com/2008/10/praise-his-name-sheri-easter-video.html Please take time to watch it. I was down and the reminder was so empowering. I sat there and played it over and over. God bless, hon!

Renna said...

Oh, Kimmie. :-(

(((hug)))

tonia said...

so sorry, kimmie.

praying for you right now.

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