Jun 13, 2009

To have a friend...

Lately, I have found myself shedding tears about friendships. I don't know what your experience has been with friendship, but mine has been a turbulent road.
This is not to say that I don't have friends, I do. I have some wonderful friendships that have taken root over the years. Still I find myself upset when a friendship doesn't seem to be what I had thought. Often, they are one sided. lopsided if you will.

As I pondered this, the Lord spoke to my heart. He reminded me (again) of something my mother told me when I was 3 or 4 years old.

"Kimmie, to have a friend, you must be a friend.'

God wants me to keep on, even through shed tears. Even through hurt or rejection, in giving from my heart. He doesn't desire for me to hold them at a *careful* distance, thus ensuring the safety of my tender heart. But He wants me to love them with a deeper love, than perhaps they have known in friendship.

So again, I am going to wipe away the tears, ask God for strength and wisdom, and I am going to set out on being a blessing.

When I think back upon my father's life (Laszlo) and what was spoken at his funeral by hundreds of his friends...it was that he was a giver. He loved with abandon, he went out of his way to bless others, never expecting anything in return. Hundreds came to pay their respects, wiping tears from their eyes and recounting stories of what my father had done for them. My heart wants to be that kind of friend.

'God, please help me to not be self focused, but others focused...just like You.' ...

in Jesus' name, Amen.


EEEEMommy said...

Amen and amen! My heart is in this same place, and I just posted somewhat along these lines as well. I too have struggled in friendship! I need to be challenged to be more like your father as he was like our Savior! Thank you for sharing your heart in this! I am blessed, encouraged, and challenged!

Grace and Peace,

andrea said...

i can relate to what ying. i have you are say. i have been trying to write a post about this...but it has been so difficult. but through my tears, God has shown me many blessings.

mom said...

{{{Kimmie}}} When we love deeply, we hurt deeply. Yet does Jesus call us to anything less? You have been blessed by a wonderful example in your father. May his example and HIS example continue to give you courage to love the friends in your life :-)

Tammy ~@~

Lovella ♥ said...

Kimmie, of course we can really not know each other in bloggy land like we would if we were neighbors. . but I have thought on more than one occasion that I should love to have a dear friend like you .. .encouraging me. .and praying for me. . and hearing laughter of wee ones next door.

I have been hurt in the past too. .. I know what it is like. .
but God does bring healing .. again and again ..and again. Blessings on you friend.

Melissa~ said...

Hi Kimmie!

I had so much fun reading through your comments yesterday. Thank you for taking the time to leave those.

I could've written much of your post today myself. I'm actually struggling with some "friendships" in my life right now. I use quotes because they seem more like burdens than friendships.

That didn't sound very nice, but I suspect you know what I mean.

I need to work on my attitude I guess. No. Not "I guess". heh-heh.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. :)

Your dad sounds like he was a wonderful man.

♥ Melissa~

PS There *are* pictures of me on my 100 things page. They're just old. The ones in the left sidebar are newer though. I guess I'm more behind the camera than in front of it most days.

Renata said...

((Hugs)) for you Kimmie - sorry to hear you're having a tough time. I get hurt too easily & often find myself holding people at arms length. I hope I can be like your dad & be called a giver.

Acceptance with Joy said...

Hmmm... finding myself holding certain friend at arms length and even avoiding social functions... I've been completely devastated by her reaction and words about our decision to adopt. While I have forgiven, I haven't figured out how to get past it. I no longer feel safe to share who I am. DH says it's okay - that we shouldn't have to be so open when they obviously don't think like us... but man! it's so uncomfortable to sit in a social setting and have zero to say. Everything feels so shallow.

Sarah Dawn said...

Such a delight when I get your site to come up (silly internet in Costa Rica:) You always bless me with your words, His heart.

I struggle in this area too .. people on the mission field change quite regularly and some simply think I'm a bit odd, adopting, serving full time, abandoned to all He has for me, wanting to go deeper with one another and not just stay in the fluff zone.

But God is teaching me. He is asking me to cultivate friendships in my garden. To take the time to water them, soak in His Son together, and pull up any weeds that surface.

Wish I could just pop over and give you a hug, a warm hug of friendship. I think I could use another wonderful, real friend like you.

Besitos (little kisses),
Sarah Dawn

Stacy said...

I wish we lived closer so that I could be a better friend to you!

I've had a really low week myself regarding this very topic.

(((Love you)))

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