Mar 28, 2010

Prayer Request Sunday

Hi Friends,
so glad you've come by to say, "Hi!"  We'd love to pray for you, just leave us a comment (or send me a private email) and we'll get to praying!

From my Heart:
If you read yesterday's post, you know we are praising God about getting an Embassy date in Ethiopia. (Which also means our girl passed her Tb test.)  

This morning, as I sat in church and listened as my Pastor shared about remembering Christmas, Palm Sunday, Good Friday and Easter.  How each of these days shows us God's great Love for us.  I began thinking about Jesus and how He asked me to be open to an another adoption.  How the Holy Spirit spoke that we'd know who and where by Oct. of last year, how He prepared our hearts to look upon our daughter and to *know* that she was that dear *who.*  How He has brought you to us and has had you join us financially in this calling.

Then I started thinking more about the preparations of us leaving to *go* to her in Ethiopia.  The details of leaving 7 children home and preparing to meet our newest.  I began to think of all the things I should gather to bring with us, really wondering hard about what those things should be.  What is necessary?  Really, what?

I found myself crying, realizing how inadequate I am.  Feeling overwhelmed with the reality of this call to bring home an older child. 

Part of my feeling comes from having our trip fall on our homeschool convention.  The convention that I've gone to every year for the past 10 years or more.  The convention that I pray and fast, seeking God to what He would have us use (curriculum) for each child.  This year He is adding a older child to our family.  One who I don't know, I am unsure of how to teach and I am feeling undone as of late.  One who I had planned to buy some books for.  Never mind the others who I also need to gather for. 

 It is a special time I look forward to every year, I love, love, love this convention. It refreshes me and renews my vision for our call to homeschooling all of our children.  It feeds my soul and renews my passion for it. This year God said, "No." I am having a hard time understanding why.

Don't feel sorry for me, because I do know that God has picked me.  I do know that this is His will.  His perfect will for me, for Princess Sweetness and for my family.  I know that where He calls, He enables you.  I know this, really I do.  But there is a part of me that forgets.  A part of me that fights back tears, asking God why He couldn't have chosen another date.  One that would have allowed me to go gather our books for next year. 

I cried to God that I am inadequate for this job.  I don't know what to do or what to bring.  What to say to her besides that I love her.  I will hold and hold her, but what when I finally have to let go.  What then.  I am inadequate, its just what I feel today.

But you know what.  God reminded me that He called me.  That He is preparing her heart and mine.  That the smile we saw in the few new pictures is proof positive of His working in her heart for us. He is indeed at work!

I went up for prayer after service.  I stood near the altar and told God that I am really inadequate for what happens next.

I bowed my head and heart and then just waited before Him.  Tears were seeping from my eyes.

A woman on the prayer team came over.  She didn't say a word that I understood, but she held my head firmly.  She said God had told her to give me something.  She cleared the hair off my forehead and she kissed me.  She said Jesus told her to, then she walked away and left me standing there.  She didn't know, but my Jesus did.  That kiss said, "I know you are inadequate.  I know you are afraid, but I called you to this.  I picked you and I picked her.  I know and you can trust me.  The kiss was to remind me of how much He loves me and how adequate He is. 

2 Corinthians 12:9

And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.


Mrs. Sew and Sew - Karen said...

Praying for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your heart today. Many blessings, Karen

Jo's Corner said...

Hi Kimmie ~ As I read your post, esp. the part about missing the home-school convention and how you wanted to pick out books for S...and I immediately thought about this as YOU being Pregnant. And, like all pregnancies come with their own unique occurrences, it's kind of like you are "going into labor" early. What you thought was your "due date" has changed. And, like a real early delivery, it throws all of your planning off! I believe there is a reason that the timing has changed. Perhaps S needs to come earlier than expected. Whatever the reason, HE is in control. HE will provide just the school material you'll need to teach this new daughter.
As for feeling inadequate about having an older child in this adoption, HE will guide you in All of your ways. I really believe that the older girls in your home will be such a huge part in her adjustment. She will learn a LOT from those beautiful big sisters. And, when she feels like she's not quite as mature as them, she will have the younger girls to draw near to.
You are such an Awesome Mom and I know that this girl will receive everything she needs to grow into another precious family member!
Just Love her and Hug her..lots! And, remember that He will be beside you every step of the way! Peace to your Sweet heart!
Love and Hugs from MN. Jo

marisabutterworth said...

I just found your blog through a friend and wanted to let you know that I really appreciate your honesty. My husband and I are adopting a baby girl from Ethiopia through AGCI and I feel like a really identified with a lot of what you wrote. Just wanted to say "hi" and thanks! :)

mom said...

{{{Kimmie}}} It is when we are weak that we are really STRONG because we can only rely on the strength of the Lord! Remember that the Holy Spirit is praying for God's will with each of your prayers and I KNOW He will lead you each step of the way.

As much as you loved the homeschool convention, perhaps it was the Lord's way of preventing you from purchasing needless items that wouldn't have worked for Simenesh. You need time to get to know her and learn what is going to work best educationally and that will take time. Perhaps the greatest thing she needs to learn fully is the love of a family and for that need you are fully prepared!

I will continue praying for you!

Tammy ~@~

Saminda said...

He will enable you sweet Kimmie! Yes, he has chosen you and yes, you can do this. Just focus on ONE DAY AT A TIME. Love to you, xoxoxo

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