May 5, 2010

Bonding-Adoption


Psalm 9: 10 (New International Version-NIV)

Those who know your name will trust in You, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

I love it in The Amplified Bible too.

and so many of us need to read it like this.

Now on to life at our house...this chapter of my life is to be titled:
Walking out the Call of Adoption....

I am finding it hard to come up with words to go with all of the 1500 pictures I took, while in Ethiopia, adopting our 13 year old daughter.  I will be honest and say that this has been the most *stretching* adoption out of our 7. 

Adopting an older child is wonderful, but so different than infant, toddlers, preschoolers or the oldest we've done up until last week-who was 5 when she first joined us. Really, it is about us being willing to be changed.  In our other adoptions the children (even the sibling group of 3) came to us and were so quickly absorbed into our ways.  This time our baby comes carrying so much that we want to have become us, if that makes sense.  It isn't that we didn't bring culture in or embrace who are children were with our previous adoptions, but somehow we are finding this totally different.  Maybe it is that we have a language difference that right now is huge?  Or maybe it is just time for a radical life change.


I have to be honest and say I don't know how you would do this without a relationship with God.  How you would find the strength or the energy (or the wisdom) that is required to walk it out.  We are relying on Him, we are seeking Him through prayer and being fed and led by His Word (the Bible).  How thankful we are to have friends praying for us moment by moment, without you, I am sure we would be totally undone right now.

So thank you.  Please don't stop praying and seeking God's help for us. 

Our Ethiopian girl is very sweet. 

She is also very stubborn.


She knows what she likes or wants and doesn't.  She hasn't had a parent for 6 years.  Sometimes we tell her something and she looks at us and says, "No." An example being Sunday morning when my oldest told her to get dressed for church.  She said," No, pj's."  She doesn't yet see the God who she loved and worshiped in Ethiopia, as the same God here in America; the same God at our church where we worship together as a family.  Post church service she decided she had enough and walked out of the building alone.  I guess in Woliso this was okay, do as you wish.  There were no *strangers* to worry of, no crime, or so we are told by our friend Alazar who educated us on the ways of the orphan and of Ethiopian culture.  So different than here I am afraid.


We are working on language.  She has asked for school, so I am beginning a bit of math and I found some ESL (English as a second language for children) that I am introducing.  She is smart and happy to do school.  Last night we took her on a shopping trip to get her school items, she was very enthusiastic.  I am not sure she understands that she will be home schooled, that this is what God has for her and our family.  We now wish in hindsight that we had them explain it to her while we were in Ethiopia, (heads up for other families who will be walking this same road.)  School of course is bits and pieces for the moment, my other children are all finished for the year, as we accelerated our year for her arrival.  I am confident that God will provide what she needs and what will be the very best for her and for us. 



Moment by moment and breath by breath we will seek His face.  He knows what He is doing and that this isn't more than we are able to handle.  He will walk it out with us and help us love one another.  We love her so deeply and want her to know that.


We are thankful for surprises...like finding worship music in Amharic on You Tube.  This makes our daughter so very happy.  She knows to just stay in the *Church music* as she calls it.  She sings and worships with abandon in Amharic.  We get to see a glimpse of her love for Him in these moments and are eager for the day when her two worlds join and she walks into the fullness of life that He has for her.

*You Tube is a tool in His hand, He can use whatever it is He wishes to accomplish His purposes in our lives!  A warning comes with it though, please use discernment and govern your children.  There is much good available on You Tube (or the internet, or television), but also much EVIL.  My children have been clearly taught, *Garbage in garbage out.*  What we put before our eyes, goes into our heart, it goes into our minds, it comes out of our mouths.  Be careful little eyes what you *see!*


Off to pray for Day 3 of my family's 40 Days of Prayer for Orphan Care.  Pastor Rick Warren (who wrote a Purpose Driven Life) has so graciously shared this with all of us to join in...how thankful I am when God leads me by His Spirit deeper into His heart.  How grateful I am not to have to *reinvent the wheel* each day, but to just humble myself and follow Him.  It's not too late to join us....all the info is in yesterdays post....I double dog dare you to jump in...I can assure you that
 WE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!


Grace Guest House-Addis Ababa, Ethiopia


Bonding on Day One of our journey in Ethiopia.  My beautiful girl braiding my hair.

15 comments:

Saminda said...

Wow oh wow Kimmie. I have been a bit distracted these past few days, and haven't been praying for you..... I will begin again this night!! You are so brave, so strong, these days are SO early in your journey with Simenesh joining your family.. hold on tight to Him sweet Kimmie, Jesus WILL get you through!!!! You are so loved, so surrounded in prayer. Just wish I was closer. :(
God bless you today,
Saminda xoxoxxoxoxo

Kathy C. said...

Sometimes the road we are on is not the easiest one and I know we all have the "what have I done" moments. Praying she adjusts well and her heart is open to all you want for her.

Renee said...

Thank you so much for sharing.

I will be praying. It brought back memories of the early days with our 9 yo son from Ghana. He did not understand why he couldn't just wander the streets. Church is so different here in comparison to Ghana and he was home 8 months when he told me when he first came home he thought homeschooling was really weird. LOL

Just having a Mama was new to him. Who was this crazy obruni (white) woman who warned him not to hurt himself while slicing bread when he was used to butchering chickens.

God's grace is more than enough!! He will give you the wisdom and the strength.

Your dd is beautiful and so are you :o)

Lauren said...

I'll be praying for you all!!

mom said...

Continuing to pray for you, Kimmie, as you go through all the ups and downs of adjusting. May He give you much wisdom during this time!

Blessings,
Tammy ~@~

Cindy said...

Yep, we can't do it with out God, and crying out to Him for our source. I'm right with you Kimmie and everyday I'm leaning into His arms of Love and wisdom. Cindy

Anna said...

Love this picture--what a great way to bond. I see good things in the fact that she's willing to engage physically with you already. God will be building on that. I know that He will give you everything you need to parent this beautiful person.

Shonni said...

I will continue praying for you! Thank you for sharing your journey!

mom of 3, hater of cheese and birds said...

hello my hungarian friend!! As I was scrolling through the posts about your new daughter, I had an idea... make her a photo album of her life in Ethiopia and ask her to label w/ people's names, names of everyday items in the photo (in both languages) etc. This will not only teach her bits and pieces of English, but acknowledges she had a life in Ethiopia and shows her you are interested in what her life used to be like. love n blessings to you all!

Renata said...

We are continuing to remember you guys throughout this huge change - especially for Simenesh - I can't imagine all the changes she's experienced in the last fortnight.
Thanks for sharing the prayer list - we're also praying along with it - orphans are on our heart - I'm not sure if we're meant to adopt or just pray - I'm sure God will make it clear in His perfect timing.

Hugs to you - you're doing a wonderful job - it is early days & she'll adjust. So pleased she's eager to learn english.
Renata :)

Our Red House said...

She sounds amazing, Kimmie, and she is so very beautiful, but what a challenge. I will be praying for you and all your family.

KateXXX

Expat Mom said...

I can only imagine what a challenge this is! If you ever need help or tips for ESL, let me know, I taught it for many years here in Guatemala, to Koreans, Japanese and Guatemalans. So, if there's anything I can do, please ask.

Diane said...

Kimmie, thanks for sharing your heart. Although we have never had to deal with a language barrier, we have had to deal with bonding issues. Yes, even with one of our younger children who spent two years in a home where things were done much differently than here. It has presented challenges, but God is good and we see progress.

I will be praying for you and your family as you continue to walk this path that the Lord has you on.

Lord bless you, my friend!

Diane

Mrs. MK said...

We are praying for you and your family! Praying that each day get easier to communicate!

Cari said...

I really enjoyed this post and love your hair braiding picture. :) I'm praying for your family. We hope to bring our 12 y.o. daughter home in just 6 weeks, but we don't have the language barrier. English is spoken where she is from.

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