Jun 13, 2010

Birth Order, Adoption and God

Recently a reader asked about what my thoughts were on changing birth order in adoption ... sharing my response...

I have never tried to maintain birth order. This is something that I have heard others say, though honestly I don't find it anywhere in the Bible. I think God is able to add whoever He wants, whenever He wants, at whatever age He wants...If we will only submit our lives into His hands.

Adoption is not just about what I'd like, honestly I'd have to say for all of our adoptions, I had to lay down my will for His. In hindsight, all of our adoptions were a perfect fit. Sometimes in the moment, I had to cry my way to saying, "Yes, Lord."

As a girl with infertility I have always wanted a tiny baby for adoption, but both my babies came near walking stage-His will and not my own-the others were all older, but never as old as our Ethiopian Princess.

And about children who get put out of the age spot...I think we are supposed to teach our children the same that we are learning...dying to self and submitting ourselves fully into His plan for our life. My children know and understand what it is like to be an orphan, most of them have been. And as to my one homemade- she knows the call on our lives (on all of our lives, not just me and Papa)- so whatever the age has always been fine-as God was the one leading and guiding all of us.

My children didn't even blink when God surprised us with 3 at once and we doubled in size. It just so happened that they fit right in to age slots without any one changing order...but honestly, we never thought about it. We only knew God said they were ours and we had to get them out of foster care and into our family forever.

Always questions patterns of this world my friend. Even question the experts, if what they are saying (or are selling) isn't lining up with the Word-reject it and embrace Him.

God wants orphans in families...He wants us to trust Him, He wants us to follow Him with abandonment. He loves older orphans too, not just the babies. He wants all of them to have families and doesn't need to only work within the limits of our existing ages.

If you don't believe me, ask HIM...

I am wondering if when Jesus was on the cross and said to his mother that this is your son...if that wasn't an adoption that didn't maintain birth order. ;-)(John 19:26-27 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son," and to the disciple, "Here is your mother." From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. ;-)

And I am also reminded that God clearly tells us in Scripture that NOTHING (no thing or situation) is to hard for Him. No thing on this earth is impossible for Him (Luke 1:37)

hmm...perhaps this should be a post?



Janet said...

Blessings to you!

Have a wonderful day in the LORD.


Kathy C. said...

They are all precious, no matter the age. I would only worry if it was a safety issue for the younger ones or it adversly affected them.

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much. Sometimes there are so many experts out there, it is hard to hear the voice of the only expert that really matters, Jesus. Thanks for always pointing back to Him!!

Diane said...

Amen! Well said, my friend!

Stephanie said...

This was wonderful!

Simply stated - simply understood!

Just this morning, someone mentioned the birth order question/argument to me AT CHURCH. I wish I had of read this before my conversation this morning.

Karen said...

I personally have no strong feelings about the birth order thing....that being said, I am fascinated that when God sent us our boys, He placed them in the exact spot of their own birth order. If they were with their birthmom, they would have 3 older siblings...just as they do in our family! In fact, their oldest birth brother is about 6 weeks older than our oldest son.

Renata said...

Beautifully written my friend & so full of wisdom. I love the way you wrote to check everything against God's word - something my mum taught me from an early age.
God bless
Renata :)

Andrea said...

Thank you Kimmie. You are only confirming what I believe I already knew the Lord was saying to me. Adoption is an unknown to me, and a test of my trust in God, and giving up all fear for faith, in His person and His promises all over again. We look up to these "experts" who facilitate this all the time...
BUT GOD.... :) is full of wisdom and truth.
Thank you again, friend.

David and Sarah said...

Just found your blog through Shonni's blog. You have a beautiful family! We also adopted out of birth order--Yana is the oldest, but was the 4th (of our 5) children to join our family. God always knows what is best, doesn't He?!


Anonymous said...

WOw, this posting had just minister to my heart tonight in so many ways..........thank you. Maria

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