Nov 18, 2010

Greedy, What Do YOU Think? (Greed and Adoption?)

I am almost wordless, almost~

Recently, when talking about adoption with a friend of ours and the possibility of adding another child to our family of 8 children- the person turned to me and said I was being rather~


Now, I think perhaps this was a joke?  But I am wondering.

How could greedy and adoption be pushed together into a sentence How could anyone think I was greedy, because my Knight and I wanted to add an orphan to our family?

I did say that with the 143 million orphans, I didn't think that the fact we adopted 7 made me greedy.  Or the fact that God has a call on our life and that we feel His gentle nudge once again.  A nudge that has us updating our home study and praying for direction from God.  Once again we will save our pennies and believe God to show up with the finances that we don't have to even begin to run with another adoption.

Adoption isn't for the faint of heart.  It isn't something you jump into half heartily, by any means.  It requires huge amounts of faith, whether it be for the finances or for the actual match that will be made.  It requires great personal sacrifice and devotion.  

I think of the word greedy and I think of the things of this world.  I think of people (like most Americans) who have too much and are not satisfied.  People who buy and buy, looking to fill the void in their lives with stuff. People who collect whatever their heart fancies for the moment, stocking and stashing it as their heart desires.  

Now how does this relate to orphans or to adoption, 
which God has ordained?  

Adoption was His idea first, long before it was ever planted in my heart.  He actually COMMANDs us each (yes that means YOU) to care for orphans.  For me and mine this means adoption- ask Him what it means for you.

If it was a joke, it isn't funny.  
If it was serious, it REALLY wasn't funny.

It was also said that I can't save all of them.  I of course know this.  Like I thought that somehow I could take all 143 million of the orphans who are crying out for a family of their own, that lie alone praying for someone to find a place in their hearts for them, who shed tears, real tears because they don't have anyone to hug them or to tell them they are wonderful. Orphans like my 13 year old Ethiopian daughter, who tells us she had no food for 3 months of her life.  How all 54 kids in her orphanage cried out to God for Him to send help to them.  Have you ever been 3 months without food?  I know I can't possibly take them all, though I guess I might try, as I can see the reality of not enough who will step out into adoption.

Adoption, it is the call of my life.  It is my purpose.  I will not be ashamed, I will not hide the fact that I ask God what it is that He wants me to do with the rest of my life and this is what He says over and over again to us.  We hear Him clearly and we move into action.  Isn't that what we are supposed to do after all?  To put our faith into action and to be actual real life do-ers of the Word?

Let me remind you, retirement is not until heaven.  There are over 143 million orphans that will go to sleep tonight without parents or a family of their own, scared, hungry, and very alone; while you and I rest easy in our comfortable homes filled with stuff and more stuff.  

Something isn't right. 

My heart is hurting, as I know that there are too many orphans 
and not enough of us  
greedy orphan hoarders around.


Erica said...

Greedy Orphan Hoarders Unite! While the comment was completely ludicrous and it breaks my heart that anyone would use adoption and greed in the same sentence I wish more people were greedy for the cause of the orphan.

Gathering children into our homes, wanting to tuck them into bed, and love them forever, yes we ARE the blessed ones who GET to do this. Who get to love one of HIS children but I hardly look at that as greed. Its an honor. A privilege. A deep deep joy.

Like water on a ducks back......let it roll. :)

MommaMindy said...

I'm sorry, Kimmie. Sometimes people say really, really dumb things. They say dumb things when you have cancer. They say dumb things when you lose a child. And, they say dumb things when you are faithfully serving the Lord in the way you have been called.

When Mary annointed the Lord and wiped His feet with her hair, she was criticized. The Lord knew she was preparing Him for burial. The other women came TOO LATE with their ointments. The tomb was empty.

It's better to be criticized for your acts of service and worship than to be TOO LATE.

Stephanie said...

It sounds like you handled a rude comment with grace and intelligence. I probably wouldn't have been so kind when put on the spot like that. I would have been tempted to tell that person to hold her comments until she has read the Bible from cover to cover to see what *God* says about adoption.

May God continue to grant you grace, peace, and firm resolve in the midst of those who just don't seem to understand God's commands regarding widows and orphans.

If only every family in the body of Christ were helping them as your family does, what a different world we'd live in!

Saminda said...

Well said sweet Kimmie. :) You are an angel and I'm sorry you had that cruel thing said to you - craziness!

I am feeling a little disheartened after learning that international adoption is very very difficult to do in Australia - and you can only adopt from Western Australia (other side of the country) - and they only do about 10 adoptions each year! :( This is hard news to swallow. Federal adoptions aren't adoptions in fact, but more long-term foster care. So I'm praying about all that.

And I'll be praying for you my friend, as you continue with the amazing journey of life God is giving you. :) Blessings to your family! xxx

Diana said...

Kimmie, one thing you are NOT is greedy. In fact, you are completely opposite. You are a giver and your children are blessed because of it.

Kathy C. said...

Greedy would be keeping all your resources to yourself when so many children are in need.

Stace said...

Someone told me the other day that Thanksgiving turns into THANKS-LIVING. Living out the BIBLE by giving of your time, skills, heart, money... you know.. the list is almost endless... to ADOPT is NOT GREEDY! What I am learning is that people project their HEART and TALENTS onto others and assume you sould "live thankfully" the way THEY do.

That being said, someone does have a similar issue with us but is far more loving about it. She is genuinely jealous because she could not have children and all the avenues of adoption fell through for them for a variety of reasons. She said she's glad for us but sad for her. I can appreciate that.

AND... I am jealous that you're adopting again! Everyone in our family is ready for another one exept my husband. God leads. We follow. And if it's NO, so be it. I'm waiting for my husband to tell me that God has changed his heart... and he admitted that it makes him a little nervous that God just might. :)

Shonni said...

That really is a rude and sad comment! I’m so sorry that it was said to you and loved your response...very gracious!

Anonymous said...

My mom said the very thing to us years ago after we were talking of adding one more. We have two! She clarified by saying we had our fair share and to let someone else have a chance and to concentrate on giving the two we were blessed with the very best of our attention. I stupidly rationalized it by seeing two friends unable to adopt. Then I realized they were unable because their expectations and requirements were so high it negated the possibility of adoption altogether. Is it too late now? I feel the tug. I don't know. My husband says he is "too old and tired now" and too far from it all.
Follow the pillar of fire, Kimmie!
my word verification is "ophons" which looked just like "orphans" in the quick glance of my eye!

Happymom4 aka Hope Anne said...

Greedy?! Oh my goodness! I can guarantee you that the person has NEVER adopted. They have no clue of the sacrificial living, nor the unselfishness required to adopt again!! The times you work your fingers to the bone to try to save a few more dollars for the adoption fund, or the times you humble yourself again and again asking for help with fundraisers, nor the squeezing of yet another body into a house that isn't really roomy to begin with . . . Heee! If this is GREED, the world would be a better place if EVERYONE were "greedy". Oh Kimmie, how ironically sad and funny all wrapped up in one that someone should think you are greedy! We too now are in process to adopt again . . . and therefore, I speak what I know to be true--adopting means a little more dying to self!!

Happymom4 aka Hope Anne said...

PS. My kiddoes said we should make a T-shirt that says, "Proud to be a member of the 'Greedy Orphan Hoarders Club' " and then down below with some smart phrase further elaborating on the many orhpans.

tarynkay said...

That is an insane comment. I do think that a lot of people are very poorly informed about the actual number of children who need homes, etc. Maybe this was coming from a place of ignorance rather than cruelty? It is thrilling that you are contemplating another adoption! Since you've done different kinds of adoption, may I ask- would you adopt through the state again? Why or why not? Or will all of your future adoptions be private international adoptions? Would it be possible to ask you to speak to the different types of adoption you've experienced? If you've written such a post in the past, I would love to read it. Thanks!

Marian said...

Ugh! People have opinions and judgements about things they really know nothing about. I know this very well. It hurts, but ultimately it's God's opinion that counts. : 0)

Kristine said...

One of the best things my mother ever taught me was this: Usually when someone has a problem, it's their problem. It probably doesn't have anything to do with you being greedy but THEM. Trust in God's path. You're not a people pleaser, you're a God pleaser.

Debbie Doughty said...

"Something isn't right," is an understatement! Unfortunately, there are far too many people who think that way. It's time for greedy orphan hoarders and prayer warriors to unite.

Karen said...

Wow! Whenever someone makes an audacious comment to us I tell myself that they are simply speaking from ignorance and have no clue... (and vent about it to my sister). :-) And I'm very excited to hear you may be expanding your family again! Will be looking forward to seeing who God brings to you next!

Adina said...


LeAnn said...

I just found your blog, and I am so glad I did!
I simply had to comment on this post, I suppose because it struck so close to home. It is true, adoption is not for the faint of heart!
Greed? I think not!
But, with our recent adoption, this was the way the nurse at the hospital treated me after discovering that we had three boys. From that point on, she was so rude and unkind.
Adoption will certainly stretch your faith, trust, patience, and your tolerance too.
Blessings to you and you beautiful family.

The Straight's said...

Go ahead and be "greedy" as God is leading you to be!! Good thing you don't have to answer to anyone buy him- who leads you in all your greediness ;)

Anonymous said...

I cannot believe someone said you were greedy for adopting children. There are so many orphans and you and your family are being obedient to God's calling as stated in James. Keep it up sister! Your crowns are many in the kingdom and you get to cast them back to Jesus while surrounded by all of those faces that you rescued from being alone! Love the blog, Terri

Kimmie said...


The requirements for Ethiopia is to be no older than 60...let me know if you want to connect to look at some waiting kids in Ethiopia...I can hook you up sister!!

Why don't you ask your husband if he will pray about it with you?? I know God is able to refresh and renew us (as your hubby says he is *feeling* too old and too tired). He promises (if we ask) to renew our strength like the eagle-

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Praying for you Kate. Please tell your husband that I said *retirement is not until heaven!!*

Praying for you!!


Rob said...

Kimmie, please take no heed to these comments because you are a shinning light and a wonderful person and what you have done already is something to be very proud of. People say things without thinking what they are saying and the hurt that it will cause. What the friend said was not funny whichever way it was intended but you know in your heart that what you have done is right and good. I know how you must feel because if it was up to me I would adopt Border Collie's and I would be very upset if someone called me greedy for doing so. You mustn't be discouraged because I'm sure the friend had the devil's tongue in their mouth that day and would really be upset if they knew the hurt they caused.

Dardi said...

Hi, Kimmie! I briefly saw this the other day but was just now able to read it through. Having just adopted our 3rd child within a year, we actually got a similar comment recently. It was from another adoptive parent & I don't think she meant anything nasty by it, but it was awkward (our most recent adoption was an infant in which a birthmother chose all happened really fast, & when we went to the group meeting after the fact, another adoptive couple was there with 2 children embarking on their 3rd adoption, & she said she didn't feel so guilty when she saw how many we had??)

While it may look like we've had it "easy", we spent a couple of years positioning ourselves, praying, experiencing disappointments, surviving the rollercoaster of adopting from the system, & then being called to places we never thought we'd go (Ethiopia & domestic AA infant). Each time we heard from the Lord clearly, so we said "yes". If that's greed, go figure. I guess if I was going to be greedy, it sure wouldn't include sleep deprivation & the emotional/financial investment! lol

Now that I'm done with that, can I just say that it makes my day to see that you are being nudged again!!! I am excited to see where He leads your family & pray blessings over every step of your journey. And it's been awhile since I've touched base, so if you didn't know about our most recent blessing, please stop by to see & say a little prayer over her!

Hugs ~ Dardi

Renata said...

Hi Kimmie
Surely, surely she was joking. After all there are 143 million orphans (just that number makes me sad).
I am so excited for you guys though talking about adopting again!!! I'll be praying for God to guide you in this journey & we look forward to following along!
I hope you are keeping well & it's lovely to catch up on your blog!
God bless

Lori said...


You are inspiring to me! More than you can know. Your family is beautiful and how wonderful it would be to add to it.

I do think people say things without even thinking. Just shows us the power of words and to think before we speak.


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