Dec 1, 2010


 Friendship for Grown-ups ~by Lisa Whelchel
 Chapter 12
From Head to Heart

First I want to say this last post is bittersweet for me.  It seems like so long ago that my sweet girlfriend Michele came and introduced me to this book, while sitting on my couch this summer.  So much has happened in my life since I began this book. 

I'd love to tell you that reconciliation happened for me with a friendship that became broken, but it didn't.  However, I am now sleeping normally, no longer crying and have surrendered this friendship into His loving hands. 

I think this chapter reminded me of my part in friendships.  It is so easy to blame others for our lack of connections, harder to look within and see the things that need to be corrected.   Many times within conversations I find myself drifting, not staying present for my friends.  I need to work on this, as it is a gift to our friends when we can remain present for them. What a gift listening can be.  Perhaps one thing I understand more clearly is that listening is much more important that the words I can give.  I am now slower to speak, quicker to listen.  I still have much work to do of course.

As Lisa discussed what keeps us from asking our friends for help, it made me again realize that I have a strong fear of both fear and possibly commitment.  Fear of rejection, but perhaps slathered over with a fear of commitment, which keeps my little ole heart strongly wrapped and protected for what I see as possible potential dangerous situations.  None of this sounds like Jesus to me.  Ouch.  
I am not much of a performer, but perhaps I am.  Perhaps deep down I think I have to do something, or say something, or look like something-in order to get others to like me~  Instead of resting and being who I am.   This book has helped me to see areas that need some of God's Light shown into them, areas that need a thorough cleaning and dusting.  I am willing, God has been given my life to do with it as He will.  I have exposed these past 11 weeks, areas of my heart that had been hurting, areas that are badly broken and crushed and the areas that remain shadowy to say the best.

I wonder what aspect of this study has helped you the most?  

I thank you for joining me in this book study and thank you for encouraging me not to enter the cave of gloom, in order to sort myself out.  I have gone instead, to my prayer closet, where I can fall to my knees and listen to His heart for me in all of this.  The closet is only cozy enough for me to remain for short increments of my day, the door always remaining a way back into life, accessing people once again.

I'd like to close us in prayer-OKAY?


 We thank you for your constant love and friendship.  We thank you that no matter how we behave, that you love us and want us.  I thank you that in the words that Lisa has put down, that you can minister to us and bring us into greater faith in You.  Please Lord help us to cling to You. Help us desire a friendship with You above all others.  And Lord, if you are willing-and it is Your will, please bring us into an intimate friendship like our hearts desire.  
We ask that You bless Lisa Whelchel for blessing us with these words from her heart, continue to grow her (and us) into the people you want us to become.  

We ask and believe all of this in Jesus' matchless name.  Amen and amen.


Karen said...

Enjoyed studying this book with you! Frankly, right now with kids ages 1,2,3,6,8,and 10 I feel like I'm just surviving...hard to even spend time with friends. I'm so thankful for the group of ladies at MOPS where I go twice a month for a bit of a break, and for my sweet sister and sister-in-law who listen to me rant, and for my foster/adoptive parent friends who are in the same boat with me...

I too appreciate that I should be real and authentic...not performing, not necessarily "capable" but real, needy yet reliant on Christ who has been faithful in the past and will continue to be faithful in the future.

Okay, that all sounds rambling and probably makes no sense at all...

Thanks for doing this study!

mom said...

I have the listening gift, Kimmie, so perhaps you should call ME sometime when you need to talk! ;-)

It has been a blessing to watch you grow as you studied about friendships and I know God will use your willingness to delve deeper into this topic in the lives of others!

Tammy ~@~

Renata said...

I know that I'm not so good at making the first move at friendships & that's what I've been trying to do lately - make those phone calls to people I call friends but haven't seen for a while - I have one lady coming over on Tuesday & I'm so nervous - I think I'd rather hide at times (silly aren't I).
Thanks for sharing this book - I'll have to have a look on sometime for it.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend

Roselawn said...

So glad you chose the prayer closet instead of the cave! Thankful that God led you to lead this book study. I enjoyed sharing and reading other's responses. I pray that God blesses all of you with the gift of special friendships!!!

Blog Widget by LinkWithin