Feb 20, 2011

Confession Instead of Prayer Request Sunday

Not that I don't love to pray...or that I don't do it daily or even when I don't really feel like it,
but today I am going to share something different.

I am feeling rather flat.

Not quite empty, but teetering very close to that dangerous edge.  I have been doing all the right things, keeping myself in the Word, praying, confessing sin, praying, making time to be alone with God (although never enough to my liking)...and still I am feeling rather dull in spirit.

I am not sure why.  Well, maybe I am leaning towards a few things, but can't really put my finger on it.  

God hasn't been saying much lately and this perhaps sits heaviest on my heart.  My relationship certainly doesn't need me to hear from Him to continue to walk with Him, but certainly His voice is wanted.

Perhaps it is just a season, but thought you'd like to know.

I am ahead in my chronological Bible reading plan.  I have been enjoying time in His word and reading through in this new order.  We've begun to have a family altar at dinner time.  My Knight leads, we are reading together through the book of Mark.  We also pray together as a family at this time.  It hasn't happened every night, but we are aiming for as often as we can make it happen.  I think just the thought of us gathering together and that there He is in our midst, has brought tears and joy to my heart.  

But still something is not right.  A heaviness is on my heart.  Actually it feels like it wants to press me to the ground.  It is rather a smothering kind of feeling, not at all nice.

I wanted to share, as I know you are my friends and will help to carry me through this. 

Of course I am open to suggestions...


Adina said...

I know how you feel. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sweet Kimmie,
It is so hard when God trusts us with His silence. I don't know if you have the devotional "Streams in the Desert" by Mrs. Charles Cowman, but if you do, read the Feb. 9th one. It has ministered to me so much lately as I've waited on His answer. They have the devotions online, but they don't always line up with the dates in the book. I will see if I can find this exact devotion for you and send you the link. I am praying for you for this heaviness, and for the situation with your precious dog.

Karen said...

I read a great book about these times awhile ago. Unfortunately I can't remember the title. I do remember that the author said that often out of these times comes something new from God...a new passion, a new ministry, a new understanding, (perhaps a new child?!)...will pray for you instead today. :-) And trust that God will bring you out the other side...regardless how long it takes.

Karen said...

Found a book. Not the one I was thinking of...but an even better one. I mentioned it in my post..http://rksauder.blogspot.com/2010/04/book-reviews.html. I reviewed a bunch of books in that one and it's the one by John Piper.

Anonymous said...

Hi Kimmie!
I searched the site and found the devotion, it's Oct. 25th's. The link is: (http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/1440516). I pray that it ministers to you as it has to me.
In His love!

Renata said...

Hi Kimmie
I know exactly what you mean - I've been there myself. Lately I've struggling with some issues - realising that I need to want His Will no matter what - even if it isn't what I would chose.
Praying for you my friend - right now lifting you to the Lord!
Love to you

mom said...

{{{Kimmie}}} Whenever we are pressing closer to our Lord and encouraging our family to do so also, the enemy will be sure to discourage you. Keep trusting even when He seems quiet....

Tammy ~@~

Rob said...

I get a bit like that sometimes and I don't know why. I always feel better when the sun shines so hopefully Spring will come soon. Lively music helps me or a lively person. Just ride the storm Kimmie because after every down there is an up so that it something to look forward to. 'Ups' are good things for lifting spirits don't you think? I always think that God sends the 'downs' to make the 'ups' that much sweeter.

Debbie Doughty said...

I have another book suggestion for you, and I WILL BE PRAYING that God will speak to your heart directly or point you to the book he might use to speak to you. I have only read the first chapter of this one, Spiritual Rhythm, by Mark Buchanan, but I am intrigued by his insight into what he calls "the seasons of our souls." Like real fruit need four seasons to bear fruit, he says our spiritual lives need to be in rhythm with our spiritual seasons to bear spiritual fruit. You can read a few pages from it on Amazon, or download a sample if you have a Kindle. Love & hugs, :Debbie

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