Apr 20, 2012

Heart Matters

A quietness has settled on my heart today. 

 I found it as I took a moment to sit and watch my children playing in a brook in the forest.  I sat on a little heaping hill of moss, reaching around me I found a myriad of little ships for the children to float on the babbling water.  As the ships found their way from the dirt, to my hand, to dirty little boy and girls fists; this quietness fell on my heart.  

I wondered if the ships remembered where they came from.  If they remember the days when they grew in the mighty oak that looked down over the tiny brook in the forest.  When they separated from what they protected all of their early lives, though they were but tiny caps atop the acorn, still they were so important. Did they ever understand their true value and purpose?  Did they have a sense of destiny?

  I wonder if they saw their other portion and had any sadness at their separation.  Perhaps they saw one of my raccoons come and gobble up the little shiny brown part they had been so carefully fastened to. Maybe a squirrel had taken away the acorny goodness to save for such a day as today?  Perhaps they watched and waited from the earth's surface for the acorn that had managed to wriggle it's way into ground, to begin life anew.

As they were pressed into the soil did they hope to be discovered?  Did they feel like they had another purpose?  Did they know they would bring a little brown 4 year old joy unspeakable as she discovered that they floated?  Were they happy to be of use once again.  

Sometimes as mothers I think we wonder such things of our own lives?  My first baby is soon to be married and out of my protection.  Her life is finding it's purpose, after so many years of growing and anticipating such a day.  

My heart is quiet as I tuck memories that rise from the 21 years of mothering her into hidden pockets, to take and chew on later.  Life is so wonderful and full as we mother.  Sometimes our job is hard, challenging, frustrating and maddening, but mostly it is just a joy to be put in such a position.

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