who was that?
on being a masked super-hero of sorts:
This post is a little about:
*being who you are
(even if nobody knows who that is)
*not being offended
*using your gifts (without fear)
* not worrying about leaving a name tied with your actions!
Ever feel unconnected? Ever feel unsure or unused as a Christian?
Ever feel like church is painful?
This all ties into the fact that I am struggling a bit with church. Finding myself wondering about where I fit and if I am in the right spot. I have been with my church for over 15 years, so this is not something I haven't applied myself (or my family) to.
Spending a lot of time in the Word, a lot of time in prayer, but not feeling the love where I find myself worshiping. Not that God isn't LOVE or that He isn't there, for certainly He is, but it is a people problem I guess.
We have had a major transition over the past year at my home church. Time has pressed forward after many unexpected changes, but my heart is still aching.
Yesterday, I went to a women's breakfast at a church I have been worshiping at mid-week with my family. It is not my home church, but has been a place of healing to some of my wounds. The Pastor's wife was sharing her testimony and I was so interested in hearing it, as she has suffered greatly over the past 2 years. I wanted to hear how God has led her through the tough spots, which included getting a finger amputated this summer. My family has been frequenting this church for nearly 4 months regularly.
Post the gathering, I went over to encourage her. I had spoken to her a couple of times and had been praying for her and her recovery.
After I turned to leave (post giving her the words God gave me for her)...my daughter saw her mouth to another woman,
"Who was that?"
"Who was that?"
When my daughter told me, the first reaction I had was pain.
But as I sifted through it, I realized again, it isn't about me or leaving my calling card so to speak, as it is about wholeheartedly doing as God says. I could have become offended, as hurting people often do. I could have made a decision to not ever return to "that" church again (or I could say that about my own). I could cringe and decide to not let the Holy Spirit move me to encourage anyone again. I could decide that I am not going to use my gifts in my church or in any place, as it is just too risky.
Now all of that may sound childish or extreme, but let's face it, it is what happens everyday to us as Christians. Offense sinks its claws into our hearts. It grabs us and slowly hardens our hearts against the things God has for us. It makes us bitter and angry if we let it.
How you doing?
How's your heart?
Mine is good. Do you want to know why?
I made the decision to be a masked man of sorts, one who doesn't care if anyone knows me. I am willing to serve Him, even if it is anonymously. After all, this life is not my own, it was bought with a price (i.e. the blood Jesus poured out for me on the cross). I am not going to draw back, but grab my armor and run forward!
Wondering if anyone wants to join my new club of masked woman ministry? I am going to not let the enemy get me down, but I am going to continue to pursue God (and His heart) with all that I have!
Want to join me?
*feel free to leave prayer requests, as today is still Prayer Request Sunday!