This is a little memo to my heart and for you my friends... in just a few short moments, my homemade daughter will be leaving.
She is flying across the country, far far from the only home she has know. She is happy. We are happy too, as she will be going to make her home with her husband. Her husband has been in the Middle East (Qatar) serving for the past 6 months in the Air Force. They got married in May, he flew out a week later. She has been waiting home at with us; to which we are most thankful.
We love our girl. My heart is torn because of this love. She is so much like me that I feel like I am losing a bit of myself in her leaving. We have been inseparable until now. Not that we aren't both individuals, but our hearts were firmly sewn, so carefully over the years, together.
Perhaps it was homeschooling her from the beginning, or perhaps it was because children came so very hard to me. Maybe it was because her name means consecrated to God, because she was a miracle. We trusted God from the moment we found out that the miracle of "her" had happened. We dedicated her back to Him from us first hearing that we were to have a daughter. It was about trust then and I am learning that is still true today.
December 17th she will be leaving home. I find myself holding her tight at each time I can manage. I hold her extra tight, even my eyes are squeezed tight, so tight that little droplets find their way out and drip down this Mama's cheeks, making wet spots on wherever they happen to land.
We adore her Beloved. He is ours too. But for now they will be in a far away land. Too far for holding tight and too far for stitches holding hearts together-side by side anyway.
She is a woman. It happens so fast and kind of sneaks up on you. I got a glimpse of it back in the garden, as she slipped gracefully toward the altar on the arm of her handsome Papa. The Holy Spirit whispered, "You need to let her fly." I knew He was right, but just didn't know when that moment would be right. Then I knew.
I am a very blessed Mama. As I say it I am crying. God allowed me to raise not only a beautiful 21 year old daughter, but a kindred spirit. I will miss her something awful. It will be hard, but God's grace will help us all through this transition. My beautiful girl will set up house on an Air Force base with the man God's hand picked for her. They will begin their journey He intended from them, before He ever even gave her to me.
Love is good. But love hurts. Trust is good, but trust stretches us in ways sometimes we never imagine.
When she leaves she will know she is loved. She knows how proud we are of her and how she has chose to live her life honoring the One we love. She will know we are grateful for having her as ours and that whether near or far, she is always to be ours and very very loved.
Life changes and God walks us through it.