Oct 16, 2014

Fragments, Pieces and Parts

Does it ever seem like you are needing super-human strength
 to make it through your 'just normal' day?

Life for me is full.  Full meaning busy, full meaning I sometimes don't sit down until I really am ready to collapse.  I often just get so busy that I forget to eat, then suddenly I realize it is dinner time. I never do it intentionally, it just seems that one minute runs into the next and before I know it my Knight is due home and the last leg of the day has come once again.

We had a special guest speaker at church this week.  A week set aside as a "renewal" week (a time of refueling and refreshing) at my church.  As I sat worshiping God, I realized how fragmented my worship must seem to him.  How many times during my singing and worshiping Him, does my mind wander back to the ordinary of my life.  One minute I am raising my hands and singing out my love for Him, the very next I am thinking if I took the meat out of the freezer for tomorrow's dinner.  

I jotted this down in my notes as the sermon was being preached:

'I am offering God the bits of my day, the pockets that spill into an open moment that becomes worship to God.  Sometimes I can't stay within the worship. (I become unfocused and wander from worship back into worry, planning or plain distraction).  Forgive me Lord, you deserve it all, not fragments or broken bits.  Help me to stay centered, focused, intentional.  Help me to give you a whole life of worship."

I catch myself and try to stay centered on just Him.  But again and again I find that my flesh rises up against my spirit, trying to draw me away, back into the world of  'to-do', that never-ever-ends.  

I found my eyes full of tears, big heavy tears, in wanting God to know that it bothered me.  Not a little, but  A LOT!  I found myself at service's end standing in a prayer line with maybe 75 others who felt like me, that they somehow were only giving God a small portion of what they really wanted to give Him.  

As the preacher from South Africa closed up his sermon, he caught my eyes that were welling with tears.  He came down off the altar and put his hands on my head.  He asked the Lord to give me more glory.  To fill me back up and to continue to show His glory through my life.

His prayer wasn't long, but as I chewed on it today I realize that God is using my life and all the ordinary moments to bring glory to Himself.  I don't see it.  Maybe random glimpses, but He does.  Those around me do too.  But sometimes this Mama is just to full to stop and look at what it is that I am daily doing for His glory.  

 He doesn't see my day as meager offerings, or fragmented worship,
 He sees it as a love offering given fully to Him.

He doesn't see my busy as self absorbed, but as a woman who has a servant's heart and serves others in the choice of how she lives and how she serves her family. He doesn't see anything about my day as fragmented or broken.  He sees it as whole and a beautiful fragrant offering.

He has heard my continually cry for more of Him and less of me.  He has seen me begin my day in his Word, often in tears. He has heard me pray for those He puts on my heart and into my life.  He knows that the time is in continual sacrifice to Him, though I don't always understand it as that.

Thank you Lord for your reminding me that the work you have called me to is important, that child raising (in training them to love Him and serve Him) is huge in Kingdom business.  That I am not only influencing those in my home, under my hand, but those who stand around us through the week that are watching God be glorified.  As they look on, they see Him glorified,
 clearer that I see where I am standing.

(that is what He is telling me).

Busy is, as busy does.  
True, true.  

So don't mind my sigh.  But I am full.
 I am being emptied rather deeply each day,
 but He is filling me up to pour me out like a drink offering,
 before His throne and for His glory!


Lisa said...

I'm glad you are able to see that, Kimmie; because you are doing what you should be doing. It gives glory to God when people are willing to serve. That's what you are always doing. It's God's work! :)

Kimmie said...

Hi Lisa,

Thank you for always encouraging my heart. Really you are a breath of fresh air and minister to my heart deeper than you msy know. (which is also God's work!)


Renata said...

Hi Dear Kimmie
I was just trying to reply to your comment on my blog & for some crazy reason I couldn't so I thought I'd come & visit here & leave my reply. I think this post was for me though so I'm glad I came here tonight. My brain seems to be always jumping from one thing to another, even when I am intentionally trying to focus on the Lord. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. I love what you wrote down in your notebook. Thank you for sharing.

If you think of us, would you please pray. We've finally finished our foster care training & are awaiting a placement/s. We would love to adopt from them, but will have to see what comes. I am dreading having to juggle homeschool & having a child in school. I would love one (or two) under school age, but we are open to 6 & under (as our twins are now 8). Am I correct in remembering that you had to juggle both h/s & school for a while? Any tips?

Thanks again for your lovely comment on my blog. I am terrible at getting around to commenting, but please know that the Lord lays you on my heart often & I always pray for you when He does!
God bless

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