Apr 20, 2015

The Past and the Future

As I was looking for something to write about, I came across this old family picture.  My sweet father, Laszlo and my mum, sandwich me in this old photo.  I am not sure who the woman is along side my dad, but assume it is an aunt. This picture gives me joy, but also stirs up a great sadness.

My dad has been gone for over 24 years now.  He took his last breaths just before my one and only pregnancy brought forth his first grandchild.  He never met any of his grandchildren and the loss has been huge to us all.  As you can see he found joy in family.

  My dad loved people and was always humming a song or singing.  He was a people guy and one who would give his shirt to anyone in need.  Proof of that would be the hundreds of people that came to his funeral; that I never met, but all had a story of how my dad had helped them.  He was loved and one who loved generously. Not many went through the line with a dry eye or without sharing in an unheard story of something my wonderful father had done for them.

Looking at me as a baby, I wonder by the look on my face if I am like him.  People have been more of a struggle for me.  I would love to be like him in that regard, but I find many times that relationships are complicated and that anything beyond the surface is really hard.  My heart longs to love, which I try, but not with as much ease as my father did it in.  It was a gift of his and one he used so very well.

My father was really laid back and I have been told that in that regard we are alike. I am easy going and so was my dear father.  He was a man of great creativity and loved to design things of beauty (mostly with wrought iron).  I wish I had more to show you, perhaps I need to talk to my mum about old family pictures and learn the art of scanning.  Time is such a hard thing to work these days. I have been told I am creative, so maybe he gave me some of that too.

I miss my dad.  I am not sure of his walk with God.  He was raised in a religion and didn't see the need to make it personal.  My heart often wonders and longs to know more about his spiritual life and his relationship with God.  I guess in that we are very different, as pretty much everyone I ever meet soon knows about my love for God and my personal relationship with Jesus.  I am an evangelist at heart and long to see the gospel transform those it touches. The Word of God is transforming for sure.

Mourning for my dad has been a long journey.  So many times things pop up in life and I wish he were here, so I could ask him what he'd do.  So often I want him to rejoice with me, but have to release tears of knowing it is just not possible.  My children have heard many stories about Grampie Kiss, but that and a few photos and my wedding video is all they will know of him.

I told God that when I get to heaven I might just hug my dad first, if he indeed is there.  You see I expect to see Jesus, the Father and the Holy Spirit, but my dad isn't in the definite column for eternity in my heart.
The Word says that there is only one way to heaven and that is through Jesus.  It isn't a church or a denomination that saves you, only the blood of Jesus.  That blood covers over all of our sins that separate us from a Holy God.  When we (each/individually/personally) confess our sins, and ask for forgiveness, He eagerly takes up position as Savior.  We make Him Lord as we give Him that position in our lives, every day thereafter.

The Savior is the only one who saves.  It isn't based on our goodness.  The Bible tells us none of us are able to earn our way there (Romans 3:23).  I hope my dad made that decision for himself, to invite Jesus to be his Lord and Savior- if he did he never told me.  We talked about my faith a lot, but he never moved from his views.  He listened, he was a great listener, but he never told or showed me differently before he left.

I share all of this very heartfelt stuff to say,  please don't put off what you should do today.  Please don't leave this earth without Jesus. My dad left suddenly and unexpectedly.  He was too young, but it was the time that God had allotted him on this earth.

 Jesus came to give you life and give it to you in the fullest (John 10:10).
If you don't know Him, He is waiting.  For those who are praying for you, bless their hearts and tell them you have decided to invite Jesus into your life.  
It will make the world of difference for you and for them.

Of course my hope is in Him 
and that I can trust 
that He works all things (to those who love Him) for my good. 

My dad was my hero,
 he was my best friend, 
I miss him terribly, 
 I have to say Jesus is my hero too,
 and the Word tells us He is the best friend any of us could ever want.

1 comment:

Rhonda said...

Kimmie, this was just so touching and good. I love the things you shared about your Dad. Hoping you DO get that hug in heaven that you long for. My Dad is away as well, only 7 years now. So much of our family has seemed to change with his passing. He was the steadiness and the high standard in a way to all of the extended family and our little next, too.

Love your big evangelistic heart, sister! May God use it far and wide.

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