May 17, 2011

Jesus and Me

I have to say that my time with Jesus has been sweet and very healing to my heart.
  For those of you who are new to this series, 
Jesus called me back in the end of February to take a month alone with Him. 
He asked me to push aside everything else
and to press in to Him. 
For me this meant I needed to let go of my friendship time with my girlfriends.  
Though I didn't jump right in 
(I don't know WHAT I was thinking),
I did follow Him in May into this quiet place.

At times I found myself wondering
IF you could spend time alone with Jesus.  
Everything I understood 
said that you come to the Father through Jesus-
so most of my early time was doing just that.
I'd pray to the Father and ask Him if Jesus could come to me. 
But then I got kind of stuck, because really Jesus 
said He'd send the Holy Spirit to us in His absence.

John 14:26
But the Advocate, 
the Holy Spirit,
whom the Father will send in my name,
will teach you all things
and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

So I did a lot of praying
and sent an email to my friend Karla-
who said God had her in the same place, asking the same thing.  

Then I remembered two things...

1. That the reason Jesus was calling me to a sabbatical of sorts was that I was weary
I had been on a roller coaster rides of sorts with my heart and friendship.  I don't know if it is because we have just finished another adoption and maybe I am tired from all the emotions that this brings you through, or maybe that in this course of time I just needed deeper friendships-that just didn't seem to be available.  
Don't misunderstand
I have friends,
I love my friends,
but I just wanted more than they could give me. 
I found myself lonely and hurting inside, 
weary from hope for more that just didn't seem to be coming.

2.  That verse that I memorized as a teen...

Matthew 11: 28 (29-30 too!)
28Come to me, all you that labour, 
and are burdened, and I will refresh you.
    29Take up my yoke upon you, and learn of me, because I am meek, and humble of heart: and you shall find rest to your souls.
    30For my yoke is sweet and my burden light.

I figured this was my invitation to go straight to Jesus. 
To rest in His arms and find my heavy heart's burden lifted into His loving arms.  
My heart has been lighter, as I read the Bible I find myself at a new level of worship.
Honestly, even the wild three that He sent me
(because He knew just what would fill that lonely hurting place in my heart)
- has sent me into worship. 

I hold them, nurse them, care for them and I see Him. 
He knew I wanted to flee into the woods
to escape the pain I was feeling not only from the broken friendship
I endured this past year, 
but from the ache of wanting or needing more. 
But instead of letting me run to the woods (i.e. escape the pain), 
Jesus lovingly brought the woods to me.  They make me smile,
they cause me to cry and to worship Him more. 
Strange to you probably, but an act of a loving God to me.  

Psalm 34:18
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
   and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 
So I continue on, resting in His arms, listening for His voice
and expect good to come out of our time together.
I pray that if you are following Him too, 
that you are richly blessed;
and enter in to an new level of faith and worship!



Anonymous said...

Your post today reminds me of a story that a woman told on the radio a few years ago. It was a dream that God had given her. I will email the story to you.

~Julie S.

Sarah said...

Friend, I am excited beyond belief to join you. I'm not sure if I have ever told you, but your posts, your words, your open real life with Jesus, all lit up for us to see, has encouraged, challenged and spurred me on.

Be blessed abundantly, pressed down, shaken together, and running over into your each and every day!

Rob said...

I think being tired can make us have wrong thoughts about people. I always see things in a better light after a holiday. You work very hard Kimmie so I'm sure you must get tired, if only we had the energy of a Border collie puppy!!

Debb said...

Your blog is wonderful. Your words inspiring. Your family, beautiful. We are currently on the emotional adoption roller coaster.......and feeling a bit drained. God has been calling me into "alone time" with Him, rather than filling my life with such busyness. Why do we tend to be slow when He's calling our name? He calls me again through this post. Thank you for writing.....gotta go. I have a date withGod! ;)

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