Today I was thinking of the adoption road my family has walked over the course of time,
and also the road we feel the Lord has currently placed us on in adoption. Adoption most definitely (in my humble experience of 7 adoptions) has many twists and turns, many highs and lows, many surprises along the way and occasionally long waits in silence.
Where we stand (and stand we do) is in a place of silence.
God spoke to me and showed me a little illustration this morning,
mind if I share?
I was on a trip (think: adoption) into the woods (think: the unknown)
though it was a path I had occasioned before (think: how life has brought us many twist and turns over time)
I found myself alone (almost unheard of for this mama to many).
We were doing a quick snack drop off for my raccoons (you will have to catch up if you are new here)...
my children ushered the snacks into the woods ahead of me, as I had to turn back with a little one who was not dressed for our woods adventure (think: of spiritually how sometimes we are unprepared for a trial as it comes because we aren't fully wearing our spiritual armor.)
Back I trekked to the car, depositing said little Ethiopian with her older sister and her girlfriend. Back I turned to reconnect with the children who had forged ahead (with my permission-think: the call).
As I walked I was thinking how I felt so abandoned in this portion of our adoption, uncertainty of the call has been hounding me for months. Though we have sought God, even through prayer and fasting, still He is silent.
I was thinking how though I sent my children on ahead (think of how God calls us and sends us out) that really I was following them and had them covered. They weren't alone in the forest (think adoption), but were on a well set path that was designed and in place for the mission.
This made my heart feel better.
Then, God corrected me (think: yup, i need it again!)
insert voice of God:
"I am not following you. Though you are on a path where you feel like you are alone and perhaps abandoned, I am already before you in this.
Not only am I before you, but I am with you. I am near to you, though you don't think I am. You are not to rely on feelings, or fickle emotions, but you are to trust me. I am behind you, I have got your back."
Trust is not only about having faith in the silent times, it is about standing. Standing means holding ground and not allowing the devil to move us. It means walking or rowing (think: boat of disciples in the midst of a storm at the 3rd watch of night...3 am!) in obedience of what Jesus has told you. Keeping at it, though it is hard, impossible or lonely.
I am standing, as is my Knight in this adoption.
We are believing God, trusting Him.
Though we are being discouraged by our agency, mainly due to the fact that birthmothers want childless couples (the trend). We have TOO many children to ever get picked, or so the social worker from the agency told us.
God whispered right after that that He was the one that gave us each of these kids so far. Each child that came through what seemed at that moment to be insurmountable situations, they came.
So we will walk the path. We will stand. We will row like madmen if necessary. We will close our eyes and remind ourselves that we are NEVER alone. We will continue to ask God for confirmation, but until we hear otherwise, we will continue. Sweaty, tired, sometimes totally discouraged, but we will go on.
Our God is faithful. He is more than trustworthy in all (ALL) things. He loves orphans and cares about justice for them.
I am going to copy this and ponder it some more. Maybe you should too. Maybe this will speak to you even if your call isn't to rescue orphans, maybe with using your imagination you can hear His voice too.
and remembering the enemy of our souls wants to keep us discouraged and get us to quit!
Don't fall for his ways, they don't ever bring us to justice, to victory or to new heights for His glory.