Where the Spirit is Leading~Honor and Respect
Sometimes words just don't fit.
Other times they fit like gloves.
Sometimes I find myself too tired to run to the computer to share what God is doing in my moments here. Sometimes I wish I could just clear a few minutes to quick share what the Holy Spirit is showing me.
For months (though it seems like years, perhaps an eternity full) I have been working on teaching my children about honor and respect. It is heavy on my heart, so heavy that I am willing to put all else aside so that we can get our hearts around it. My heart right along side of theirs.
Honor and Respect....First for God, then for their parents, then for family, then for others.
We have talked, read Bible stories together, talked, prayed, about this honor and respect. I have disciplined, reminded, corrected, again reminded, disciplined...I think you get the picture. We are in the midst of a most holy battle, one that our enemy would like us to lose. Because if we do, then he wins and he puts a stone in our hearts, that will eventually bring us to ruin.
Then, the flood walls broke yesterday. As I was opening our Bible time together in prayer, the Holy Spirit led me to the dictionary of all places. I went over to the shelf, pulled out my Noah Webster 1828 Dictionary and looked up the word respect. A list of many definitions loomed before my eyes, but it was the first one that brought me to tears. Literal tears. It said respect: honor; giving your full attention to.
Now to me this was huge, as Princess Sweetness asked me why I was always asking my children to look me in the eyes when I was talking (or telling) them something. As I read this, I realized that it was because in their hearts, deep in their little child like hearts, that they weren't willing to give me their full attention (or respect.) Seeing it in black and white made the lights go on for me.
After the definition was read for all my students children to hear, and we read our passages together for the day, I made an announcement.
(*we are currently reading the book of John and a chapter in Psalms everyday. Our Princess Sweetness first reads it aloud to us in her first language- Oromo, then a bit in Amharic for practice- then takes turns reading parts aloud with her siblings in English)-
The announcement was this:
"I will no longer be saying *Look ME in the eye*
When I speak, YOU will look me in the eye and you will stop all that you are doing..."
why?
"Because God says you are to give me your full attention, your respect. HE is telling you. Commanding you to honor and respect Him first and your parents second. It is an act of pure love, given by a willing obedient heart."
Day one and even the seven year old freezes in his tracks when he hears my voice. I think the Holy Spirit was moving deep not only in my heart, but in theirs too. Of course we will keep with the character lessons, but how good to know that I am not in this alone, that God is right here with me battling for their hearts too!
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15 comments:
Ah, yes.. we need to revisit that lesson again and again and again, it seems.
One of my boys actually needs to stop what he's doing, come over to stand in front of me, and then look at me when I'm talking to him. Otherwise he's just too involved in play or whatever to even pay attention.
I love you, Kimmie. You're a wonderful, faithful, committed mother whose children one day will rise up and call you blessed!
Kimmie, spiritual mothering is the only kind of mothering! Thank you for this beautiful blog. As I read your blog and began evaluating our homelife, I think this is what is lacking for us, as well. My heart has been both grieved and angry over the lack of attention to my words and wishes. Now, I know where to start. Thank you for again, spurring us on to Spirit-led parenting.
Awesome post. Thank you so much. It is a topic that needs to often be discussed because it is so lacking in our culture now.
I am always told by others how respectful my kids are, but I don't always see it at home. I think they compare themselves to the world sometimes and think they are doing great and wonder why I stay on them. We have a higher standard though and it must constantly be maintained.
What an important principle, Kimmie. We live in a world that is so distractable around us. Full attention? Children of today don't even know what that means. And I'm just as guilty when my children talk to me and I'm doing a multitude of things at once. A good lesson for a mom as well as children!
As always, thank you for sharing your heart and speaking to my heart!
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
I just remember all of the times that my mom was trying to get my attention and I was too busy to look at her.
Growing up as an only child, and so far only having one child, the thought of eight children is exciting, confusing, and a little amusing. I would have to suppose that if the parents didn't demand consistant respect from them, a group of eight kids could form mutany and take over the house! It's only two-to-eight! Count it a blessing that you have such respectful kids ;)
That is GOOD stuff!
Have you ever looked into John Beveres "Honor's Reward"? It's good stuff! You may be able to watch the vids on Youtube.
As your children learn to honor, they will receive an honor's reward!!!!!
Amen
Janet
My husband and I were just talking about this last night! We have been working on this with our son for a while, and in the past month or two, we have seen HUGE improvements in our relationship and HUGE developments in his heart. We say around here to both kids that we demand respect and "first time obedience" because it's good practice for obeying God the first time He asks something of us. And I really believe that all i do as a mom is supposed to point these precious children to a deeper relationship with Him.
Thanks for this post Kimmie! I feel blessed to call you friend.
This is really good Kimmie. I will be revisiting this lesson with my children! I am so glad that you shared this with us.
Loves,
Shonni
Very valuable teaching
Enjoyed this post. Rule #2 in our house is to love, honor, and pray for one another. (We use the 21 rules of this household. Great rules! Quick go*gle search will bring it up)
I think I'll be talking to my children about this very soon. I must say though, I think I needed this more than they do. I need to remember to not always multi-task and look at my children when they call "Mommy!"
I have to say you're doing an excellent job, Kimmie. Your kids have shown me incredible respect.
Dear Kimmie your loving example of motherhood blesses me. Could you please share what you use for character training?
I have been homeschooling for three years but did not have the parenting example myself to teach my kids using God's Word. I want to make this the focus of my teaching, not just reading, writing and arithmatic. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Melanie Ireland
mmmireland@wcoil.com
Thank you Kimmie! This is exactly what we are dealing with constantly! So thankful for your wisdom from the Holy Spirit! I have that 1828 dictionary, too-- getting it down now. :)))
I actually read this post on the run when you first posted it & shared it with my children - we're also having issues with respect. So now we are specific about stopping & looking in the eye (although sometimes I do have to remind them). Thanks for a fantastic post!
Renata:)
Awesome story. That puts a whole new feeling to the word respect.
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