Friendships...
Pondering friendship and what makes a great friend.
My heart is open and waiting.
Doing the work the Lord is asking of me, trusting He, in His perfect time and in His perfect way ...will bring me to a deeper place in friendship.
Life is short and I don't want to sit around looking back wishing things could have been different.
Opening up all that I am and all that I can give, hoping that somewhere there is someone who desires to do the same. I want intimate friendship, deep friendship, not surface-y stuff, but the kind that knits your souls together in love. I will not lose hope, but wait expectantly.
Why?
Because the Word says that all things are possible with God...and I am believing it is true for true friendship too!
What kind of friend would you like to have...if you are dreaming of a friendship?
Posts
15 comments:
I came across a quote the other day (I am a sucker for a great quote!) and this post reminds me of it:
"It is not enough for the believer to begin to pray, nor to pray correctly; nor is it enough to continue for a time to pray. We must patiently believingly continue in prayer until we obtain an answer. Further, we have not only to continue in prayer until the end, but we have also to believe that God does hear us and will answer our prayers." --George Muller
Lovely post Kimmie,
Every time I come to your blog and I see your button on the side that says Barren(crossed out) Fruitful, it grips my heart and makes me heavily sigh, I can't tell you how much I've prayed for this for myself.
I have to do just what you said here, "I will not lose hope, but wait expectantly." I understand how this not only can relate to hoping for deeper friendships, but to everything good in life.
Also, the type of friend that I would like to have would be fun, kindhearted, married, creative and Christian.
I also have always longed to have a special friend, a sister in the Lord who is very like minded. At two different times of my life I have had this, but for reasons out of my control, both relationships faded. I may never have that "best friend" in the Lord again, but until then, I am just faithful to the friendships the Lord has brought to me. I build into them as He tells me to, without any expectation of return, but praising Him when there is.
I think the problem is more that people don't know how to fellowship. We should feast on the Word in the morning and let the joys of what the Lord has taught us spill out into our conversation. We should be intimate with the Lord in prayer, so it is natural to commit to praying for problems and to even pray out loud together. This is the friend I long for and the friend I seek to be.
Ah, friendships. Your posts on this topic have been really thought-provoking for me too. :)
I have found over the past 10 years that my friendships tend to be seasonal. I have had several very close friends who I, for one reason or another, have fallen out of friendship with. I think super-close friendships are hard to maintain over long periods of time. Once you get to that point where someone feels like they "own" a friend (like a "best" friend), jealousy and disappointments etc. can creep in. I have come to enjoy the less close friendships, the ones where there are no expectations, you just be yourself and when you catch up you catch up. No-one is expecting anything particular from you, just fun and fellowship.
Still, I long for deeper friendships. I think all women do! I have a very close friendship with a friend named Kate at the moment... but after losing close friends before I am tentative to hold too tight to any friendship. Just trying to stay relaxed etc, not expect too much and so on. Just enjoying the time we are given! Bless you Kimmie, as you wait in the Lord. Keep praying, and try (as I am) to be relaxed and trusting in JESUS as our ultimate friend and all-powerful King. He will provide you with everything you need, at just the right time. :) xx
Hello Kimie, you have a wonderful and big family !
I saved your blog as a favorite link because of your friendship series. I'm intrigued and it touched my heart to know that I'm not alone in longing for more meaningful friendships. It's harder for married women with families to really connect. I've began to trust God for special friends again without the fear of abandonmnent.
I would love a friend who was interested in interesting things, one who was not intimidated by me but maybe inspired instead and I in her, one who was creative and willing to try new foods and new crafts or goodness ~ even a new language if it struck us as interesting, one who knew about what was going on in the world but wasn't fearful of it, one who was an interesting homeschooler and wasn't trying to mirror all the stuffy kinds of homeschoolers (you know what I mean? I can't explain it), one who would pray at the drop of a hat for something small or large and fully stand beside and expect an answer from the Lord, one who wore funky hats or funky jewelry and didn't expect others to even notice, one who loved her husband and family immensely and encouraged me to do the same....
It's a "type" of person that I am describing. She's out there somewhere and she's a lot like me. I just haven't found her yet.
I can't tell you what a drag it was to go to my new homeschool group in my new town and find it full of women fairly opposite of the above. If I have to sit and hear about "Johnny's" rash or "Ashley's" bathroom habits one more time I'll scream!!! I will be sympathetic with said rashes and bathroom habits, but an entire afternoon of discussions that don't go beyond that level is more than I can handle.
Where are the interesting women out there??? Where are the lighthearted, drop by for tea and a giggle, but stand by you through thick and thin type of friends?!?!? Where are those without a legal pad filled with "friendship requirements and rules" which, upon breaking one, I am shunned? I cannot find them.
Is anyone interesting out there? Kimmie, I'm certain we would hit it off, for you are so interesting that I have been visiting your blog for ages :o) It's too bad that I live more than a dozen miles away.
oOops... I meant a dozen hundred miles away!!!!! LOL!!!
I am blessed to say that I have a friend like you're longing for. Her name is Meredith and we have been friends for 18 years. We met in CA and are now together again in CO. When we were apart we wrote long letters and called on the phone almost every day! We knew each other before we each knew our husbands and we did many crazy things together (we LOVED to pet the cows at a local feed lot, and she was with me when I almost got a tattoo). She is so much fun--she totally balances out my seriousness. Most importantly, she LOVES, LOVES, LOVES the Lord and she encourages me to love Him more. She and her husband moved to CO to be a part of our church community. What a blessing!! I don't take our freindship for granted. And now, our children are wonderful friends, as well.
Praying for that special sort of friend for you, as well.
Sarah
I would love a friend who truely understood me. Who will get past my shyness, but not be too noisy or boisterous either. Someone who has a similair mission with raising their children & being a wife & homemaker & (sigh) someone who homeschooled their children who live closer than 45 minutes drive away.
But thankfully I have a wonderful Saviour who can fill my every need. (Although girl talk is kinda nice).
Great topic - made me think.
By the way is that your daughters at the top of this post? It's a precious picture!
God bless
Renata:)
Hi Kimmie, After giving the matter some thought I can't rightly say. I guess they would be like my dog only human. I think it would be more a feeling than set rules. Rob.
I so understand that feeling of wishing for close Christian friends. We joined a small group in hopes to make connections, but I'm not sure that's going to happen with the group we're in. They are great people, we just are not connecting them. I think it's hard for me because I am not a homeschooling, stay at home mom and I'm pretty sure that will not change anytime soon. I work full time and my kids go to public school, not the school in our church. So many of the women in our church have a different way of living than I do.
Hoping we both find friendship. God Bless!!
Angel
I've come to the place where I've realized that really my husband may just be my "best" friend and that is good and right. Still I need other friends, but perhaps they aren't all meant to fill all needs and cannot and if I think they can, then I will be disappointed. I endeavor to be more of a friend and do the necessary steps to be a friend but without expectation. I trust God, as the great counselor, will both be there for me as the Great Friend and will allow others to fill in the gaps in life like a puzzle.
Some things I would like from friendshiips are:
Someone who will call to check in on me, but who won't require me to be a great phone conversationalist.
Someone who will go out with me on outings my husband isn't interested in - shooting photography, looking at art, going to the beach...stuff like that.
Someone who will be on my side on the one hand, but on the other hand will help me see my fallenness and need for Godly direction.
Someone who doesn't mind analyzing things.
Someone who craves the Word and Prayer...not that they necessarily have it together in those areas, but that they hunger and thirst for God.
Cathy
Kimmie,obv. this is a topic that many of us struggle with,so thanks for posting it. I can say after reading all your comments,I wished I loved closer to all these women,they sound like they would be wonderful friends.
I want a close friend,but not a sufficating friend who calls wants to go off all the time.
I want a friend I can share everything with without shame or guilt.
I want a friend who is understanding and forgiving.
A friend who respects the my time with my family.
A friend who loves God.
My hubby does make the best friend,but I still feel I should want an additional friend for girl type stuff.
Great post,thinks for stirring things up
Post a Comment