Friendship for Grown-ups-chapter 8

Friendship for Grown-Ups

Who Are Safe People?

~chapter eight~

Questions we might want to share...opening our hearts.

 

1.  Have you ever been betrayed by a friend?  Have you recovered enough to trust again?

yes and yes

2. Who would you like to forgive-

knowing that if you didn't have to forget,

it would take time to earn this person's trust again.

skipping

but I would say, "I believe in reconciliation because of God's working and healing of relationships."

3.  What are some warning signals you take notice of before making the decision of opening your heart up to deeper friendship?

Gossip, slander, not following (when a Christian) Biblical guidelines of how to go to a friend first, before going to others.  If someone isn't open with me, then I don't usually bother trying to go deeper.

4.  Think about friends whose words you hear, but actions you ignore.  What real messages are you missing in these types of relationships?

What does this mean?  Is she saying like a double standard life? Like when a persons life doesn't line up with what they are claiming?  Or a person who is one train wreck after another?  What do you think?

5.  How is your thinking *off* due to childhood experiences.

How do you think this might effect your friendships today?

I had many nice wonderful friendships as a kid.  I also had some that weren't so nice (mostly teen years).  I do think that I tend to not need much, mainly do to the pain that comes each time I do.  I think some take me as cool, or distant.  Many people think that I am intimidating (I am not sure why).  (as when they start to know me they've told me ..."I thought this, or such and such also thinks this.")

     Pain, rejection, slander, gossip have hurt me in several friendships over the past few years.  I do still hope to have the friend I long for.  BUT if I don't, I am still going to enjoy my life.  I have a wonderful husband, great children, many things I am interested in.  A faith that I will keep plugging in and hopefully maturing in.  If God wants to bring me an intimate friend, who wants to spend time with me, and liking me for who I am...great...if not, I am okay with me.

Honestly, for the past 2 weeks (maybe a little longer), I decided I didn't like me.  The words spoken to me resounded in my head and the enemy battered me severely.  I began to retreat into my cave.  I began not wanting to talk to anyone, for fear my words would be taken the wrong way.  It wasn't a pretty place at all.  But today, I realize that I still like me.  I love my relationship with God, the relationship I have with my Knight, with my kids...I am good with how I am (both inside and out) and will continue to allow the Holy Spirit to shape me into the Kimmie He wants me to be.  

I am a work in progress.  Clay in the Master Potters hands.  Sometimes the shaping hurts, sometimes the kneading and refining requires fire.  Sometimes I cry.

Ultimately I am a screw up, a sinner saved by His wonderful Grace.  Each day He gives me new mercies.  If I walk humbly before God and man my life will be blessed.  If I follow Biblical guidelines, my life will fall in pleasant places.

I don't know what tomorrow will look like, but I am comfortable and confident in what He is asking of me today.

Some days it is harder to empty ourselves,

so He can fill us and use us. 

*****
I would also like to add:

My heart is amazed at you women who are called to be a Pastors wife.  I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you to find intimate friendships.  Praying for each of you that has come to my heart.

Now it's your turn...