flashback 2006

The tears couldn't be contained, after all I was standing there worshipping God, and he reminded me of where I was the year before-yet burning into my heart where I was presently.

Last year at this time for 10 days I was asked by the state foster care system to watch over a sibling group of 3, while their foster family took a vacation to Florida. They marched up my sidewalk with their little suitcases in their hands, they were so tiny. I opened the door and welcomed them in, I bent down low to speak to them, telling them how excited we were that they were coming to stay with us for a bit. Their eyes were distant, there was no sparkle. I invited them in and chatted with their foster parents for a while. I gave them all a house tour, so they would feel comfortable with being here, our home is your home. I picked up the smallest, (then named Shane) and proceded to our basement, which is a loaded playroom, the kids eyes began to show a little bit of sparkle. We went back to the living room where I pulled out the wooden train set the the Lord had recently blessed me with, back then I thought it was for my "coming" Guatemalan son, though he was supposed to be an infant. The Lord looked down and laughed, as I realized my train gift had been meant for another purpose. Now it made sense, I laughed too.

The parents departed, and I quickly called my knight. I told him he better stay at work for the 10 days, because if came home, surely he would lose his heart and we would be in for big trouble (as I already had). Our ten days were filled with fun, we spoiled and treated, hugged and kissed-we learned when the social worker Kerrie visited, that they needed an adoptive home.

As Kerrie talked with me 'I knew,' actually my husband and I had already discussed our willingness to do whatever was needed to make them ours, even if it meant surrendering everything.

I told her then about us, about our waiting on an adoption to Guatemala (how we were going to get our referral any day, how we were waiting on the boys list, but really felt like God would be sending us more than one child, we even prepared our Dossier to say, "children" as we felt the Lord had a bigger family for us). When I asked her and she told me their story, their need, immediately I told her how we felt about them, that we would want to adopt them...very complicated-as you can't legally work with two agencies (or that is what we were told). However No Thing (nothing) is impossible with God!(Luke 18:27 He replied, "What is impossible from a human perspective is possible with God." Matt. 19:26 Jesus looked at them intently and said, "Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible." )

Wednesday night at I stood there worshipping, my children in a long chain down the row of seats beside me. My youngest son with his arms wrapped around my neck, as he sang out with me to God, my 4 year old son with his arms wrapped fully around my knees-kissing my hand as he sang. Yes, the tears of joy rolled down my cheek, as I pondered how a barren woman could be so blessed. Oh, I knew how I could be so blessed, I have a loving Father that has heard my cries, heard my prayers for children. He knew before I even prayed, because he put those desires there.

God is so good to me. People have asked us about attachment and about how wonderful it is that we have "taken in" these children, giving them a home. I guess they don't know that it wasn't my doing, I try to point to God. He is the one that "thought" of this, he is the one that worked out all the details. He made these 6 children mine-he had entrusted me with their care. He put a love in their hearts for us, for our family. It is a year later, and we are very much a family, very much bonded and connected emotionally to each other. How could it have happened? Well, by the very grace of God, his hand is upon us, we have submitted our lives to him...we daily continue to submit and seek him. When we have a need we pray and we see him faithfully answer. He is so good-words, tears, pictures, nothing really captures how grateful we are to Him.

Thanks for letting me share ;-) What do you find yourselves in tears of joy about lately? I'd love to know so I could praise God with you too! Be blessed!