Help...Calling All Large Families who are adopting!

This is both a shout out to those who are in adoption process

 (or who have very recently adopted- having a large family)

...and for prayer.  

We are in a quandary as what to do-

I know we have grown silent here in the midst,

 please understand that when one is in battle,

 sometimes remaining quiet is the best way to fight the enemy.  

However, their is then also time when the sword and shouting is the way to defeat the enemy you find yourself against.  

Time to take up the sword!

here is what we have been busy with,

 related to adoption over the past 3 plus years:

1.  Prayer and feeling the nudge from God to begin once again the *adoption process*

*my husband and I both felt this nudge

2. Getting approval of our state to adopt 

*our crazy state decided that 6 children should be the cut off.

*after 18 months, they said they had given us *pre-approval*

we thought this was for prepping us to adopt here in the U.S. , which led us to an agency that did child rescue from abortion and placing them into Christian adoptive homes.

3.  We signed on with an agency that did adoption through their birth crisis pregnancy center...

*only to have them tell us after 2 year that we would not ever get chosen, 

due to our family size.

*(frustrating for both the time and energy spent...

as this was not what they told us in the beginning of our sign on with them).

4.  To which we then returned back to where our hearts remain:  Ethiopia

*we chatted with our last agency and decided to get our home study ready for Ethiopia

(we were already home study U.S.A. ready)

*this was this summer...but then...

5. Last week when our social worker (working on our home study) called our agency...

*we learned that the program was no longer something they were recommending,

 due to changes in adoptions within Ethiopia.

OH MY!

...

BUT...

our hearts are peace-filled.

we are seeking God.

He has spoken a few things to me ...

*"Do NOT grow weary in doing good..."

"Ask, seek, knock..."

and so...

I am also reaching to you 
and asking you for help...

Moving Away from Home

This is a little memo to my heart and for you my friends... in just a few short moments, my homemade daughter will be leaving. 

 She is flying across the country, far far from the only home she has know.  She is happy.  We are happy too, as she will be going to make her home with her husband.  Her husband has been in the Middle East (Qatar) serving for the past 6 months in the Air Force.  They got married in May, he flew out a week later. She has been waiting home at with us; to which we are most thankful.  

We love our girl.  My heart is torn because of this love.  She is so much like me that I feel like I am losing a bit of myself in her leaving.  We have been inseparable until now.  Not that we aren't both individuals, but our hearts were firmly sewn, so carefully over the years, together.

 Perhaps it was homeschooling her from the beginning, or perhaps it was because children came so very hard to me.  Maybe it was because her name means consecrated to God, because she was a miracle.  We trusted God from the moment we found out that the miracle of "her" had happened.  We dedicated her back to Him from us first hearing that we were to have a daughter.  It was about trust then and I am learning that is still true today.

December 17th she will be leaving home.  I find myself holding her tight at each time I can manage.  I hold her extra tight, even my eyes are squeezed tight, so tight that little droplets find their way out and drip down this Mama's cheeks, making wet spots on wherever they happen to land.  

We adore her Beloved.  He is ours too.  But for now they will be in a far away land.  Too far for holding tight and too far for stitches holding hearts together-side by side anyway.

  She is a woman.  It happens so fast and kind of sneaks up on you. I got a glimpse of it back in the garden, as she slipped gracefully toward the altar on the arm of her handsome Papa.  The Holy Spirit whispered, "You need to let her fly."  I knew He was right, but just didn't know when that moment would be right.  Then I knew.

I am a very blessed Mama.  As I say it I am crying.  God allowed me to raise not only a beautiful 21 year old daughter, but a kindred spirit.  I will miss her something awful.  It will be hard, but God's grace will help us all through this transition.  My beautiful girl will set up house on an Air Force base with the man God's hand picked for her.  They will begin their journey He intended from them, before He ever even gave her to me.  

Love is good.  But love hurts.  Trust is good, but trust stretches us in ways sometimes we never imagine.  

When she leaves she will know she is loved. She knows how proud we are of her and how she has chose to live her life honoring the One we love.  She will know we are grateful for having her as ours and that whether near or far, she is always to be ours and very very loved.  

Life changes and God walks us through it.

Symptoms of LOVE in a teenager...noticed by a Proud Mama

(The birthday girl is on the right...this is a few days after us adopting Princess Sparky, or Fazzdike (Faz) as we sometimes call her! (1995))

This letter was included this year in our party invitation.




9/9/2007

Dear Family and Friends;

This year is my 13th birthday, September 22. It will bring a whole new
Year, and a whole new me, as I grow in the likeness of God .

This year I’ve decided to do something new instead of birthday presents. I’ve
decided, that I’d rather collect money for an orphanage called, Hannah’s
Hope in Guatemala. So instead of using money for presents, please use it to donate to the
Orphanage, by giving it to me, to give to the orphanage. Every penny
will be donated to this orphanage to buy the children their clothes, food
bedding and many other needs.

As we bless this orphanage we’re blessing
the children, the workers there and most of all God. So join with me as
I become what we’re called to be, God’s hands and feet. Blessing our sisters and
brothers in Christ, changing these kids lives from poverty to Hope, from
lost to found, from empty and worthless, to a great worth in God.

Thanks so much!

My heart knew from day one of meeting her at the orphanage in Hungary, that she had the most giving spirit. At 14 months old when another child cried, she would scoot over to their crib and slide her arms through the railings, to rub them and let them know they weren't alone, staying however long it would take to bring them into peace. I have never seen another child this young comfort others, I have also seen her bring tears to peoples eyes, as she comes beside them and asks if she can pray for them. Her heart is huge and I am blessed to be her Mama. Certainly God is pleased with her selfless spirit, I am overwhelmed that He would chose her for my daughter.

Happy Birthday my sweet Hungarian beauty, may you continue to grow into His likeness and bring him glory with your words and deeds. We are so proud of you!

first things first

I'd like to share some conversation that happened here yesterday...



mama-up early sitting alone in the study



4 wee children arise and come down, find me and kiss me good-morning. (the two oldest girls were already up and at their lessons).

My 5 year old son, King Meemer, kisses me and hugs me with one arm (while the others watch behind him, rubbing the sleep out of their eyes).

I tell King Meemer that you should always hug with both arms and that someday his wife will really appreciate his "two arm" hugs.

2 other children approach me, kiss and give me two arm hugs, waiting to see what I might say to them.

The last wee one, King Bonkey (4) comes up, kisses me and hugs me firmly with two arms and then says, "Mama, I am going to hug my babies with both my arms too, okay?"

Praising God, because this little man came to us not knowing love or a father, now he has it all worked out and is already speaking "Life" into his future. May God indeed be Glorified!

a six month mini-celebration...looking back at my first entry Feb. 2006

Joshua 24:15
Choose this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.

A brief introduction of my family and we will be off and running with this new means of sharing our story. 

We are (currently) a family of eight-a Papa, our knight in shining armour, a Mama (that would be me), a homemade daughter who recently turned 16-!, a 12 year old daughter adopted from Budapest, Hungary (at 14 months old), a 8 year old daughter adopted from foster care (came at 3 adopted at 5), a sibling group of 3- ages 5, 4, and 3 who joined our family in August and will be adopted in the next few weeks...then we believe we will once again jump back to our adoption that was interupted when we discovered the need of our three wee ones.

Originally they (the 3) were to stay for 10 days of respite care back in May, but when we learned that they needed an adoptive home, we jumped ships and began to pursue becoming their forever family.

Our adoption to Guatemala had to be put on a temporary hold, as we were not allowed to have what they refer to as a "dual license." Guess that being licensed as a foster family and to be licensed with a private adoption agency is considered 2 licenses and is against the law here in our home state. However, they will allow you to hold a license (go figure) to do respite care (babysitting) for other foster families-so this is how God brought the "triplets" to us and how our family doubled!

We are excited and eager to see what the Lord has planned for us.


I am exceedingly blessed, as after having my oldest I was diagnosed with secondary infertility. Which basically means for me that I was able to have one pregnancy and then my womb closed. I personally believe that it was the hand of God that closed my womb, for he had other plans for us. Today I can say that with boldness and great confidence, but the road to here has been paved with many a tear. My faith has grown, as has the love for my heavenly Father, as He wiped each tear and held me close.I am thankful too that my sweet husband is a man of God, he has been my rock through the many years of sorrow and has stood in the gap in prayer, when I just couldn't. He is the ultimate optimist and refuses to let any gray cloud linger over us.


I hope to be able to encourage others who may find themselves on a similar path. I hope our story will reach out and bring God glory. After all, that is why I am here ;-)My hope is to be transparent. I enjoy putting down my thoughts, though haven't been very consistent. Someday I hope God will open the door to writing books, I think that would be a fun adventure.We haven't yet numbered our family, we wait on God and see what He will do next in our lives.


We are eager to see where this race we run will lead us. Our desire is to get our foot off of the brake and to allow God to "drive" this vehicle we call our lives, our family , our home. Time is so brief here on this earth, we don't want to live a life of "could of's or should of's," but a life that is free of regret (if that is possible ;-) and one that is filled with the Holy Spirit's guidance each step of the way.

After all, we are not adding children to our lives, children are our lives.

originally published Feb. 2006-my very first entry into the blogging world!

flashback 2006

The tears couldn't be contained, after all I was standing there worshipping God, and he reminded me of where I was the year before-yet burning into my heart where I was presently.

Last year at this time for 10 days I was asked by the state foster care system to watch over a sibling group of 3, while their foster family took a vacation to Florida. They marched up my sidewalk with their little suitcases in their hands, they were so tiny. I opened the door and welcomed them in, I bent down low to speak to them, telling them how excited we were that they were coming to stay with us for a bit. Their eyes were distant, there was no sparkle. I invited them in and chatted with their foster parents for a while. I gave them all a house tour, so they would feel comfortable with being here, our home is your home. I picked up the smallest, (then named Shane) and proceded to our basement, which is a loaded playroom, the kids eyes began to show a little bit of sparkle. We went back to the living room where I pulled out the wooden train set the the Lord had recently blessed me with, back then I thought it was for my "coming" Guatemalan son, though he was supposed to be an infant. The Lord looked down and laughed, as I realized my train gift had been meant for another purpose. Now it made sense, I laughed too.

The parents departed, and I quickly called my knight. I told him he better stay at work for the 10 days, because if came home, surely he would lose his heart and we would be in for big trouble (as I already had). Our ten days were filled with fun, we spoiled and treated, hugged and kissed-we learned when the social worker Kerrie visited, that they needed an adoptive home.

As Kerrie talked with me 'I knew,' actually my husband and I had already discussed our willingness to do whatever was needed to make them ours, even if it meant surrendering everything.

I told her then about us, about our waiting on an adoption to Guatemala (how we were going to get our referral any day, how we were waiting on the boys list, but really felt like God would be sending us more than one child, we even prepared our Dossier to say, "children" as we felt the Lord had a bigger family for us). When I asked her and she told me their story, their need, immediately I told her how we felt about them, that we would want to adopt them...very complicated-as you can't legally work with two agencies (or that is what we were told). However No Thing (nothing) is impossible with God!(Luke 18:27 He replied, "What is impossible from a human perspective is possible with God." Matt. 19:26 Jesus looked at them intently and said, "Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible." )

Wednesday night at I stood there worshipping, my children in a long chain down the row of seats beside me. My youngest son with his arms wrapped around my neck, as he sang out with me to God, my 4 year old son with his arms wrapped fully around my knees-kissing my hand as he sang. Yes, the tears of joy rolled down my cheek, as I pondered how a barren woman could be so blessed. Oh, I knew how I could be so blessed, I have a loving Father that has heard my cries, heard my prayers for children. He knew before I even prayed, because he put those desires there.

God is so good to me. People have asked us about attachment and about how wonderful it is that we have "taken in" these children, giving them a home. I guess they don't know that it wasn't my doing, I try to point to God. He is the one that "thought" of this, he is the one that worked out all the details. He made these 6 children mine-he had entrusted me with their care. He put a love in their hearts for us, for our family. It is a year later, and we are very much a family, very much bonded and connected emotionally to each other. How could it have happened? Well, by the very grace of God, his hand is upon us, we have submitted our lives to him...we daily continue to submit and seek him. When we have a need we pray and we see him faithfully answer. He is so good-words, tears, pictures, nothing really captures how grateful we are to Him.

Thanks for letting me share ;-) What do you find yourselves in tears of joy about lately? I'd love to know so I could praise God with you too! Be blessed!

Back on the adoption horse

We have once again entered 'paper-stage' (our dossier is in this UPS box) of our latest adoption-

we are finding it mentally hard, as we had this all done and ready to go last year-we already played the waiting game, never mind that we have to repay to get everything up to current for this year...a few months make a huge difference , especially when 3 little ones have also been added to who you are. Please understand we are excited, but that this road can be long and emotionally exhausting. (I know because I waited last year to get to #1 on our agencies list, only to have to make the phone call asking them to please place our file on hold).

My arms so ache to hold the baby that we know God has for us.

We are waiting on a baby girl list...though we are open to siblings and/or a deaf child. We are hoping to have our dossier ready to mail out in the next 6 weeks-though right now the stack seems amazingly huge and the task giant.

Please come along with us on this journey and see what happens along the way- may we keep our eyes on God! It is an exciting adventure-hope you will join us, we sure could use your encouragement and prayers!

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will direct your paths.

The Beginnings of a New Day

Joshua 24:15

Choose this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.

A brief introduction of my family and we will be off and running with this new means of sharing our story. We are (currently) a family of eight-a Papa, our knight in shining armour, a Mama (that would be me), a homemade daughter who recently turned 16-!, a 12 year old daughter adopted from Budapest, Hungary (at 14 months old), a 8 year old daughter adopted from foster care(came at 3 adopted at 5), a sibling group of 3- ages 5, 4, and 3 who joined our family in August and will be adopted in the next few weeks...then we believe we will once again jump back to our adoption that was interupted when we discovered the need of our three wee ones.

Originally they were to stay for 10 days of respite care back in May, but when we learned that they needed an adoptive home, we jumped ships and began to pursue becoming their forever family.

Our adoption to Guatemala had to be put on a temporary hold, as we were not allowed to have what they refer to as a "dual license." Guess that being licensed as a foster family and to be licensed with a private adoption agency is considered 2 licenses and is against the law here in CT. However, they will allow you to hold a license (go figure) to do respite care (babysitting) for other foster families-so this is how God brought the "triplets" to us and how our family doubled!

We are excited and eager to see what the Lord has planned for us. I am exceedingly blessed, as after having my oldest I was diagnosed with secondary infertility. Which basically means for me that I was able to have one pregnancy and then my womb closed. I personally believe that it was the hand of God that closed my womb, for he had other plans for us. Today I can say that with boldness and great confidence, but the road to here has been paved with many a tear. My faith has grown, as has the love for my heavenly Father, as He wiped each tear and held me close.

I am thankful too that my sweet Knight is a man of God, he has been my rock through the many years of sorrow and has stood in the gap in prayer, when I just couldn't. He is the ultimate optimist and refuses to let any gray cloud linger over us.

I hope to be able to encourage others who may find themselves on a similar path. I hope our story will reach out and bring God glory. After all, that is why I am here ;-)

My hope is to be transparent. I enjoy putting down my thoughts, though haven't been very consistent. Someday I hope God will open the door to writing books, I think that would be a fun adventure.

We haven't yet numbered our family, we wait on God and see what He will do next in our lives. We are eager to see where this race we run will lead us. Our desire is to get our foot off of the brake and to allow God to "drive" this vehicle we call our lives, our family , our home. Time is so brief here on this earth, we don't want to live a life of "could of's or should of's," but a life that is free of regret (if that is possible ;-) and one that is filled with the Holy Spirit's guidance each step of the way.

After all, we are not adding children to our lives, 

children are our lives.