The End of a New Day

The baby woke up crying, several hours after her bedtime.  Our 13 year old Ethiopian came downstairs rubbing her eyes, telling us she was crying.  We hadn't heard her, but her loving sister had and came to tell us we were needed.

My Knight made our Baby Mercy, some juice in a sippy cup and also brewed her a cup of tea with honey.  As we sat in the dark living room, sipping her beverage of choice, she confiscated her Papa's flashlight.  She turned it on with help and played happily in the dark, her breathing slightly labored, but captivated by the soft glow of the flashlight.

She eventually drifted my way and skooched her hand up to look at my belly button.  She was giggling as she studied it.  It made me think of the years of my infertility treatments.  It brought back memories of laparoscopies and all the poking I endured for a decade in hopes of pregnancy that never came. 

Tonight a tiny brown hand poked at my scars and pondered my belly button with her dim little light.  Funny, but suddenly a light went on in my spirit that I never knew was there, a light of understanding that all of that infertility treatment and its failures, brought me to one of the greatest successes of my life-my sweet Ethiopian daughter Mihret.

Thank you God for giving me infertility.  Thank you for calling me to adoption, even prior to finding out that I had secondary infertility.  Thank you for giving me the answers to my prayers in the 8 beautiful children that call me Mama.

I'm going to bed, not sure if it will be for the night, as the baby is sick...but now that the light is on deep within in that hurting place that often I hide; I think sleep, however long, will be sweet indeed.