Friendships...

Pondering friendship and what makes a great friend.

My heart is open and waiting.

Doing the work the Lord is asking of me, trusting He, in His perfect time and in His perfect way ...will bring me to a deeper place in friendship.

Life is short and I don't want to sit around looking back wishing things could have been different.

Opening up all that I am and all that I can give, hoping that somewhere there is someone who desires to do the same.  I want intimate friendship, deep friendship, not surface-y stuff, but the kind that knits your souls together in love.  I will not lose hope, but wait expectantly. 

Why? 

Because the Word says that all things are possible with God...and I am believing it is true for true friendship too!

What kind of friend would you like to have...if you are dreaming of a friendship?

7 Tips to Improve your Homeschool (& Life!)

7 Tips to Improve Your Homeschool

Some things I have picked up along the way...this is our 15th year of homeschooling and I am still happy that God has brought us down this homeschooling path. Hard days will come, but if you are armed and ready, you can enjoy more great school days together!

 

1.  The gift of listening- Really take time to listen to your children (students). Don't interrupt them, don't let your mind wander as they speak to you, no planning ahead to what you will be saying as a response.  Simply listen. Not only will you learn patience, but you will see its fruit.

2.  The gift of physical touch- Lots of hugs, kisses, lap time, hand holding, pats on the back.  All of these say I love you and good job in such effective ways. How often we get too busy to stop and enjoy our children.  Don't look back and wish you had been more affectionate, begin today!

3.  The gift of a giggle or two- Be willing to laugh.  Be willing to be silly.  Be willing to stop for a few moments to just enjoy God's gift of good humour!  Laughter has a way of bonding that sometimes plain words can't. Plus, laughter adds years to your life-where stress just steals away your time and joy.

4.  The gift of love notes-  Kind words change heart attitudes, they change lives and they impact well into our futures. Plant kind words of love in places that will bless your children...and hey, don't forget the Principal, he needs love notes too!  We all need encouragement.

5.  The gift of gentle words- A compliment has a way of entering in and changing attitudes for the good.  A sincere compliment can break off bad habits and change a child's self image. When trouble is rising up, try a few well spoken words to the child's heart, you will be amazed at how a compliment or two will overcome the worst of attitudes.

6.  The gift of a favor-  Daily try to do something nice for your children.  One small act can make such a difference in a day and make such a difference in the mood or emotions of a day. BE NICE and your children will follow your lead. 

7.  The gift of a smile-  A cheerful heart reflects on the face...as mums we can set the tone of our homeschool, of our children's attitudes and how basically our days flow.  It is so much easier to be nice, if someone is being nice to you first.  Set your eyes on the gift that your child/children are to you and thank God for being able to be the one who leads and guides them this year.

Romans 15:5-6

    Now may the God Who gives the power of patient endurance (steadfastness) and Who supplies    encouragement, grant you to live in such mutual harmony and such full sympathy with one another,
                                                              in accord with Christ Jesus,

    ⁶That together you may [unanimously] with united hearts and one voice, praise and glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah).

Rocks, Friendship-What is the Connection?

1 Samuel 2:1-2

 "There is no one holy like the LORD; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God.

2 Samuel 22: 2

He said: "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer

 Sometime in the middle of the night I woke, as my eyes adjusted to the blackness about me, God began to speak to me of  rocks.  

As I am happy to sleep this was rather odd, but in the pitch of night, there am I laying seeing visions of rocks. First I saw a huge boulder, I couldn't miss it because I was sitting upon it.  Then, I looked out and saw many good size rocks, all scattered about, next came smaller and smaller stones, until at last God put one stone into my hand.  This stone was different.  It had been made smooth by time, it was a perfect fit in my hand or so I thought. 

The next thing I knew God had me before a large lake, it was still very dark.  He told me to skip this rock across the water.  I so wanted to just hold the rock, because it fit so nicely in my hand (and God knows I have a thing for nice rocks.)  I looked at the rock in my hand, in obedience I bent forward and skipped it over the surface of the water. It bounced across happily many times, then like all rocks do, it sank.  The water was very still, even the ripples disappeared with the rock.

God spoke to me that rocks are like friendships. 

The one I sat upon was a rock like no other, the rock being Jesus.  It was immovable in my life; as He is my friend forever.   The next rocks were close friends, they were more permanent, but even they could be removed, if God so said.  The stones I passed were acquaintances, not truly friends, but ones who had had moments of my life.  This last rock was the friendship that I have been struggling with, one I have grieved greatly for.  In showing me that it seemed perfect, shows me that it was just for a time, not something God had intended for long term, not something He meant to use as some of the larger stones in my life.  The stone had given me pleasure, but I had to do as God said (which is what I did in real life) and release it from my hand.

I have asked God to help me to understand this loss.  To let me know what it is I should do.  For now, this is what the Lord is asking of me ~ To let it go, to enjoy what I had, but to keep my heart fixed on Him.

I will never be able to skip a rock again, without remembering this little vision that God woke me for.  

Part of my healing is in letting go.  Letting go is hard. Everything in me screams no.  You see, I am a fixer, I want to fix things and make things right.  I want everyone to be happy.  I want it to be a happy ever-after-kinda-story, not a good-bye.

Life and friendship is hard.  But what other option is there really, death and loneliness?  I dare say no.  

Yet will I hope and believe that He does indeed work all things for our good. 

Psalm 61:2

From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Friendship...Some Thoughts from My Heart

As I ponder my heart and my longing for a deep friendship,

what came to mind (or what the tears have brought in on the waves of each new cry)...

Commitment.

I want a friend who is committed to me. 

One who will go for the long haul, one who likes me just as I am.

One who will share their heart, without holding back.

One who thinks I am enough for them.

One who is my friend, no matter what time of day it is, and not just a compartmentalized friend (like a homeschool friend, or a bible study friend, or one that only fits into a certain category/time slot...)

(Yes, I do know the One who fits this role perfectly,  His name is Jesus.  He is always enough, but I am longing for a friend with skin on...one who wants to go deep; to help to carry my heart (and me theirs) in this thing we call life.)

I find as I search through the wreckage of my friendships, especially the one that blew up last year, that with the hurt and rejection, that there is a part of me that screams, please let me be enough. Really, I want to crawl to their house and knock on the door and say...

please tell me I am enough.  

Please.please...

Please.

With the rejection comes the words that say things like, you are not enough, you need to give more, you need to perform better, you need to do this or that, you need to ...never worthy, never enough.  Always work. 

more work, but never the right work to make a friendship stick- to become deep, intimate and truly meaningful to my soul.

there I said it.

  Maybe now I can stop crying.

And for those of you who are waiting on your book ~(Friendship for Grownups), I think we will start jumping in together the second week of September.  A few people ordered their books last week, so we will wait for them.  Please do start reading if you have your book, but please be willing to go back to the beginning with us and share your heart; as we chapter by chapter share what is on our hearts and minds.

Perhaps my (our) failings at intimate friendship will lead us to success;
as we seek His face and His hand.

What Type of Bouquet For You?

A Bouquet from my Knight

Our Baby Mercy is eyeing her Mama's gift from Papa.  Not a typical bouquet you'd gift your sweetheart with, but one that makes me glad.  He was out grabbing a few things at the store and saw this, knowing it was something I enjoy.  How blessed I am to have such a sweet and sensitive Knight.

Swiss Chard-a bouquet that gives more than you'd think.

What kind of bouquet makes your heart sing?

Memories

One of my fondest memories is from my honeymoon.  My Knight and I ventured to Canada by car and enjoyed 2 weeks of us time.  We enjoyed walking, talking and hand holding; along with many a dinner out in various bistros under the moonlight.  I love people watching and all the sights and sounds of life. I also crave time alone with my handsome Knight...

I guess that is where I began to have a soft spot for bistro sets.  CSN has so many to chose from, I can't quite decide which is my absolute favorite.  I tend to love wood or cast iron sets best of all. 

Maybe I should plan on dinner for two under the stars this weekend, after all life is short and summer is zooming by.

What about you, which set would you pick?

Opening Up...You and Me

Okay, I have been sharing huge bits of my heart and what God has been doing as of late in those recesses.

I'd be remiss, if I didn't tell you that God has told me that I am being a bit hard on myself.  He has told me that He only said be friendly, not that I was never friendly or that I was a failure at being nice to others.

I would agree with the anonymous person who left the comment, that God is stirring me to reach out, so He can do a work in someone who needs a friend. (I wish you would have left your name...how those anonymous comments leave me guessing!) Though I too am hoping to improve my friendships. 

So, tonight as I was pondering, reading and thinking...in came this thought...let's share 5 things we like about us and what we have to give others (in friendship).

I'll go first, okay?

5 Things I Can Offer a Friend:

1. A listening ear

2.  A kind word

3.  Usually I can share something from God's Word that fits their situation.

4.  A cup of coffee or tea (within 3 minutes or less)

5.  A place on my sofa with a comfy pillow to lean on (and a case of tissue to use if necessary)

How about you? 

 (and I did find this hard, but I am trying to stretch as the Holy Spirit asks).

Asking You about Friendliness...

Wondering if anyone could point me in the way of becoming more friendly...

 in my quest to get myself out there and take off some of the things that have kept me from being as warm as I should be with others, the Holy Spirit told me I should work on being friendly.

Thinking I should start a list...and don't laugh, yes I googled it:  

Definition:  friendly, 

Definition: friendliness,

Small talk quiz,

  Conversation crashers

 

The basics of friendliness...(I read the book...How to Win Friends and Influence People)

The search didn't really open my eyes,

and I think all of you have so much more to offer in regards to this question

...so...

I am thinking it all starts from the heart and the intention that lies there in. 

A smile. 

A listening ear,

a kind word,

genuine interest in the person,

a compliment from the heart,

compassion, 

reaching out to others, 

eye contact, 

body stance, 

caring,

love,

a gentle spirit...

What would you add or subtract to this?

Friendship, Me and What God is Whispering

 Well, here I am.

Opening up to more of the Holy Spirit's touch.
Asking more questions about what needs to change in me. 
Asking my friends what they would like to see different in me. 
How they perceive me.
Some of the words that are spoken surprise me.
Some are hard.
But all of them are good, they open my eyes to more possibilities in Him.

God is speaking to me to be more friendly.  
 Really, I am a lover of people, but because of the hurt over the last 10 years of bad friendships; my heart has withdrawn and I am holding back from relationships.  I have become too cool. The Spirit is asking me to turn up the flame of Love, to reach out and trust Him in regards to friendships and people.

I am not sure exactly what this means, but I think it means I need to reach out and love more.  Love without fear of rejection.  Love without fear.  Asking God to help me with small talk, as two of my closest friends have said that I am not good at it. They actually said that I am deep and big, which sometimes scares people. But that they love me.  They said it is because of my passion and my obedience to God.

I am asking the One who is able to help to come and allow this change in me  to happen.  He is able and I am willing.

Sound exciting doesn't it?  

Actually, I am pretty tired.  Just thinking about it makes my knees a little weak and gets my heart pitter-pattering.  But I trust Him and know He is working this in me for my good.  Sometimes good stretches you, sometimes it makes you cry, sometimes it down right wears the knees out of your jeans, sometimes it makes you feel lonely, but always it works out for your good. And that is exciting.

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Today I am Spending the Day with my Kids

A much needed break...and I am off.

A Battlefield Going On Here...

Thank you friends for all of your very kind words and your prayers for me.

I have had a rough couple of days.  It all began with the arrival of my book, Friendship for Grown-ups.  I jumped right into reading and did real well, until the halfway point.  Suddenly, the Holy Spirit began to reveal stuff to me.  From this point on I spent 3 days crying and really found myself struggling to keep from crying. 

  Suffice to say, God is working on me through this book.  There is some deep stuff that lies deep beneath the surface that the Holy Spirit has been revealing to me.  A bit painful, I'm a bit numb, but also hopeful that all of this is for my good.  I am waiting for everyone to get their copy, before we begin going through chapter by chapter together. It's not to late for you to order a copy...(Amazon has it for $12 plus shipping).

My computer has been acting up.  We've switched to a new provider, but things are still a bit screwy with blogspot and my gmail account.  Unfortunately my Knight (who also is the computer fixer-guy) is up to his eyeballs at work and isn't able to presently come to my rescue.  Would you keep me in prayer, as on many fronts I am under attack from the enemy.  

I am very thankful to God for all of you and for the few close friends God has given me.  

I know I am blessed. 

Working through things I had thought were long settled, but seems I was very wrong.  I have discovered that I still like me, but only when I am alone.  I don't like me with people.  I don't find it easy to be myself.  I don't know what it means anymore to *be friendly.* I really struggled with why anyone should want to be my friend.  I don't say this to have people pat me on the back or tell me you like me.  I say it to confess that I am struggling.  I am realizing that for many reasons I think I have to perform or *do* or have something valuable to offer, in order to be worthy of having friends (especially the deep kind of friendships I crave). I know I really don't have to do anything, but just be...well, at least I thought I knew this.  Suddenly, everything is wobbly and all is in question.

Please don't think I am crazy, I am just human and have a grieving broken heart.  I lost a friend this year, one of the many who have rejected me over the years, but never-the-less, one that broke my heart in a new place and has left considerable damage.  

I am in the best of places, as I have thrown myself at His feet and am waiting to hear His voice.  Though He has been very, very silent, still I wait for Him to teach me or reteach me what it is this heart needs to know.

And yes, this too shall pass and hopefully;
I will be stronger in my faith because of it all.

Feeling Rather Low

Finding my heart feelin' a little heavy. 

Asking God to show me a couple of things that have been locked deep in the recesses of my heart.  Not feeling very confident or strong, but rathering as if I have so very little to offer.

Does God Ever Talk to You ...

...with notes of love?

I have a hard time not noticing God speaking to me.  I have to say my ear is always cocked to hear the Holy Spirit's voice.  So often God speaks to me through things in my everyday, most often He doesn't sign His name, but I always know it is Him.

Now, God might not have given you a cool heart shaped birthmark right in the middle of your forehead, but you know He loves you just as much as this sweet little calf. Actually, He loves you even more.  He loves you so much that He has a plan to woo you into His family.  Do you know about this plan of His to bring you close to Him, so close that you get to spend eternity together? 

The plan started with God sending His One and Only Son into to the world.  His Son's name is Jesus.  Jesus willingly paid the needed price to bring you into relationship with God. God is Holy (without sin) and because we are sinners we are separated from Him.  The price Jesus paid was by the shedding of His blood, the price meant death and pain for Jesus on the cross, but He willingly did it...

WHY?

Because He loves you.  He always has and no matter what you do, He always will. 

Sin separates us from God.  But coming to God as He is wooing you to and telling Him, you know you fall short (we all do) because of sin, to a relationship to Him...but that you want to confess those wrong doings and invite Jesus to be your Lord and Savior; for the rest of your days.

He has your name written on His hands and on His heart...won't you bow your heart to Him today? 

 I am praying for you.  I can't wait to hear that you've been adopted by my heavenly Father...and that we are truly a family.

May you see Him wherever you turn and may His love for you flood over you today like never before.  I pray that He turns up everywhere you set yourself this week. 

Be blessed my friends, be blessed!

 

Thrifting Bounty

Cleaned the cupboards of our mismatched lonely glasses and on a thrifting stop, found some new glasses that make me smile.  The best part was that I managed to do this with a girlfriend!

Little Princess Mercy is loving her first pair of dress-up shoes.  Her new saying is...

"Mama, I'm FABULOUS!"

Indeed she is! 

God is good.

Hope you will join me in reading about how to be a better friend...check out yesterdays post for details. 

(I ordered my copy for just under $12 from Amazon).