A Walk Through a Cemetery

  There is a place I love to escape to on occasion, the place happens to be a cemetery in Spencer, Massachusetts. My Knight brought me there on a date, yes, really.  And I fell in love with the stones of remembrance that were so lovingly carved and left as a token of a life gone by.  Our first venture here was over 2 years ago, but because we both had grown to love Spencer, it was a destination of choice for the big surprise day.

This year I came once again on a special day, it happened to be my birthday.  My Knight whisked me away for the day and headed us for an adventure in Spencer. This year with a new camera in tow, a gift that took my breath away and put a new bounce into my step, I once again revisited this beautiful site.  The gift was a huge splurge, and will take a bit to figure out, but it would be embraced and enjoyed immensely by this photo-taking-Mama.

  (a Nikon 7100)

Now enjoy my brief walk through the stones...it was brief because the wind chill made it feel like 20 degrees out and my ears couldn't take more than a few minutes of this serene place of my heart. 

Oh how I love this place!

And just so you know, I asked if we could stop here on our way to lunch.  My Knight glanced at me sideways as he turned the car into the old cemetery, he might have been smirking.  He understood my itching trigger finger and waited as I walked amongst the stones, that were calling to me to be captured.

What Do You See?

:: Hope::

go

I woke up this particular morning in an old country cabin in the Northern Woods, the cabin happened to be mine. Joy rose out of my heart as I embraced this new day that God had given me.  As my eyes focused on the surroundings I was drawn to the only area of light seeping into the cabin this early summer morning.  Though I had seen this so many other mornings of my life, this morning what spoke to me wasn't the beautiful blue sky or the front yard and its beautiful landscape.  It was the cross that became my heart's focus.  

How many times in our life do we forget the cross?  How many times, whether in seasons of plenty or during the seasons of hardship, do we see the cross?  Our soul (our mind, will and emotions) often want to take control and lead us down soulish paths.  If only when we looked around us we saw or were reminded of the cross and what Jesus did for us there; things would be so different in our spiritual walk.

We could see so much more of Him in our days if our hearts would begin with the cross.  If we would check ourselves to see if we have added Him in to our day or if we enter the day knowing He is already here and waiting for us.  He longs for our company, He desires us to walk with Him through our every moment.

How thankful I am that because of that cross and because of God's great love for me, that I can look at life through His window.  My soul can be transformed and I can become who it was that He is longing for me to become.  

It is a process this life.  But perhaps it is easier than we think, maybe it is just what we think on and what it is that is always before us.  We need to remind ourselves, we need to follow Him. He doesn't want to follow us, but wants us to see things through His heart and with the view of the cross permeating everything that our eyes and days take in.


My hope is in you Lord.  

What about you, 
what does it look like from your soul and spirit?

stop

Honoring Our Airman~ Air Force Tribute!

photo credit Jeff Crandall Photography

A Tribute to my Son-in-Love~ JoJo

Today is your 25th birthday and we want to honor you with a post in tribute not only to this milestone birthday, but to your service to our country.  Thank you for saying 'yes' to God, and signing up to protect and serve us (all) in such trying times. 

 We are so proud of you.  

Though you are my son through marriage to my daughter, we love you as if you were always ours.  I think you were our fastest adoption and you slipped right in with such grace among such an unruly tribe as ours. ;-)

Today you are so many miles away, packing up and heading back to the next adventure God has you and our oldest Princess.  Wish we could help you pack up that truck, or help with the driving all your belongings back to home base.  We are excited to chart your adventure with all of the kids, we have a map and a dry marker ready to follow your course!

JoJo,  thank you for serving us these last four years.  This was our first experience with a family member in the service.  Thank you for keeping us so close to you, through the many miles that kept us apart.  You have blessed not only your new Father and Mother-in-Loves, but all the rest of the smaller tribe members as well.  So many big and little faces here adore you, each and everyone can't wait for you to pull up the gravel driveway and cross our threshold.   We can't wait to hug you, to squeeze you tight and to engage the next step of your married adventure with you at close range (temporarily under our eaves). Yeah and you are bringing back our babe with you too!!

This morning I asked God if He would give you a prophetic word (a love note from the Father!)

My son JoJo,

I am glad you said 'Yes' to my call to this four years of Air Force adventure. 

 It has been a 'training' for you.

I have given you a sensitive-tender spirit.  The ground of your heart is form-able in my hands.  You also have the gift of careful listening and a watchfulness that comes from Me.  As you continue to follow Me, these precepts and quiet understandings will grow.  It is how I made you, but you are still in the process of growing into it.  I will continue to build on this, it is a strength from Me.

 I will show you hidden things, things that others will not be aware of.  You will get insight into spiritual matters (knowing hearts of men/people).  You will have an increased level of discernment and I will show you how to take it and apply it for Kingdom business.  

I have made 'openings' for you~  I go before you.  Some of these openings will seem 'odd' to you.  Pray, and the same knowing that came to you as you embarked onto My path for you into the Air Force, will come.  It is not in the figuring, but in the finding and knowing Me.  

I am pleased with you.  I want you to pursue Me with fantastic, unabounding energy- run after Me!  This run will not leave you road weary, but energized.  It will fill you, drive you and complete you.  The course won't always be easy, but you are made (and up for) the challenge.

 Put your heart in my hand and see my Goodness poured out over your life.

Understanding and Knowledge are my gifts to you-accept them, use them, touch those around you and I do know this will be stretching, however I made you for this purpose.  You will win others to me through relationship-you will speak life to those who don't see the way.  I am The Way-and I will guide you to show them the way.

Son, I love you- follow hard after Me.  It's not about comfort but about coming into my fullness and seeing all I have planned out for you.  The plans are great, the detailing specific~it WILL pour from My heart into yours.

Please son, say 'Yes' again.

Love~

Your Father-in-Heaven

And here are some more for the rest of you to enjoy....

photo credit Jeff Crandall Photography

 

 

all other photos thanks to my daughter Bella!!

 (good sneaky work helping me with this!)

We love you and glad you are ours...

happy 25th birthday and thanks for keeping the Land of the Free just that!

Believing God in Dry Times

Believing God in Dry Times...or when you find yourself in the furnace!

I have found myself in a dry season.
A dry season that came in the midst of a trial.

  It has been a hard long journey this past year, but instead of quitting my faith (which crossed my mind several times during this time), I pressed in to the Word.  Though God seemed so very far away and the Word I read didn't seem to have any life to it, still I devoted myself to sticking to reading the Bible and praying.  Most times the prayer was mingled with tears, which seemed to only go as far as my shirt, but I would remind myself that He holds all of our tears in a jar.  

It was a hard time.  Especially hard, as we had a wayward child.  If you've ever had one you will know that it is draining, exhausting, frustrating and really can suck the life right out of you.  I was greatly saddened, but I pressed in harder.  I prayed and fasted for a long time.  In the natural not much changed, but God works in ways we can't always see.  He is a supernatural God after all!

In the hard time I decided to not go by my feelings, which can be such liars, but to continue to do what I knew was right in the eyes of God.  I read and prayed, even when my heart doubted the point to it.  I went sleepless nights to hold on tighter to our child through prayer.  We didn't see much change, or not in ways we hoped, but He was moving.  He is always moving, always active, always busy, He never sleeps or slumbers.  He doesn't leave us or forsake us, no matter what our silly thoughts might mutter to us at such times.

He began to bring in others to pray and fast with me.  It brought me to tears, as in the trial I found myself so lonely and without much friend support.  It was if He had cleared away to make it just Him and me.  Even when it seemed like it was just me, it really truly wasn't.  He surrounded me by some very strong women, who prayed and fasted for 30 days for our family.  30 days can you imagine?

Why am I writing this today?  Well, because He spoke to my heart today in a way that made me understand that He didn't leave me or forsake me
 (or mine).  

I was gardening, doing some much needed spring cleaning.  We began planting seeds today, with anticipation of a harvest in 59 days (peas).  I had been pondering not attempting another garden, as it is so much work and quite honestly doesn't really reap that much of a harvest on our property.  As I was again pondering if we should use a local space that we discovered last year, that was far more promising,

 the Lord spoke to my heart.

He said, "Why would you want to sow your seed elsewhere? This is what I have given you and here it is where you are to sow.  You have no idea what we have been sowing.  But the harvest I have prepared is not one you are seeing or feeling in your life.  It is coming and you will harvest all you have sewn with Me."  

I thought what have I sewn Lord?  He showed me all of my children.  They are my field.  He has brought them and planted them in my garden.  He has tilled them into my heart through adoption.  He has helped me have the strength to pull the weeds that have popped up, sometime weeds that were totally underground and festering in massive quantity, looking to destroy my beautiful garden.  But He didn't allow it.  He showed us the evil weeds.  He gave us the strength to speak to the weeds and tell them to go.  We began to rip out, as each became apparent to us.  We cried as we ripped at them, as it felt like our very hearts were being ripped from us as well. We got all we could see and then we fell into a heap waiting on God.  

We were spent.  We have been spent.  Spent, but not out of the gardening business.

We have been waiting.  We never stopped tending this garden.  But today I realized that like Adam, I am a gardener.  I need to embrace the gardening as though it was a gift from my Father.  I need to not grumble about the weeds.  Weeds come, we need to keep an eye open to them and a heart prepared to deal with each that tries to emerge its ugly head. Sin is never pleasant, nor rebellion, but God never quits on us. Never.

 I have had a change of heart today and am thanking God for 
 Lighting His Fire again in my heart.

Praising Him.

Sharing is what friends do.

Sharing Saturday with You

The story of Nagy Baba

 (Big Baby~ Hungarian).

One day last year he arrived, I say arrived, because it was as if he knew he belonged.  We had recently had to put down a cat that looked strangely just like him, as her kidneys failed.  We were hardly past mourning her loss, when he arrived.  

We asked around our neighborhood, to see if someone was missing this very vocal boy.  Funny, they assumed he was ours.  We let him come in, but still with an eye to the fact that he just might belong to someone else.  We searched the papers and looked in places that might have a poster of his family looking for him.  After several weeks we knew he must be meant for us, sent by God.

He was not ready to come inside.  He was still a bit of a "Wild Thing" and let us know it, by marking (who knew cat pee, a tiny drop could smell so awful!).  By the time we figured out what he was doing, boy we had a mess to clean up.  

But somehow, my heart knew he was mine, even though... So I found a clinic and got him fixed.  The research and kind doctor, with a heart of stopping more unwanted cats, told me that after his hormones were gone post surgery (6 weeks or so), that his spraying would most likely go. 

 Ever take a risk?  Knowing full well that it might cost you?  

Well, you see my heart loved him enough, all of his little Wild Thing ways, that the risk was worth it.  And my Knight loved me enough to understand that this mission was one that I needed to undertake.  Rescue was needed, maybe for both me and my Wild Thing.  Life sometimes stretches you and in turn you must either stretch or bust.

Nagy Baba lived outside, to remain in touch with his most beloved wild side and came when called as darkness approached. He not only accepted this new foreign name, foreign people and foreign house, but began to open his heart to allow the change to effect him. He was Happy to be carried, happy to be hugged by each child and adult.  Fussed over, dangled by some, even accidentally held up upside down (okay, confession it was me, but it was 4 o'clock in the morning and "Wild Thing" was scratching with his non-declawed little paws at my bedroom door. Where he sleeps with me, until the Wild Thing in him stirs him to want back outside.)

More and more he wants to come in.  He stands outside with those beautiful orange eyes and we come.  The children bring him to their rooms to read with him during school time.  They bring him in to cuddle or to play.  They adore him and the funny thing is I really think it is mutual.

He has made friends with our chocolate lab Ruby- they sleep cuddled together on my bed during stormy days, when his Wild Thing side becomes a typical house cat.  However, only through a closed door does he have friends with our two declawed indoor cats.  They see him as a menace and refuse to embrace him.  Angry that they hear the food jar at all times of the day and night, coming from his space inside my bedroom, but they remain on the other side of the closed door.  Perhaps they will come around, sometimes we invite them to a play date, but so far no playing has occurred.

Love is strange.  It is a bit wild at it's edges.  It comes unexpectedly, but I believe it is planned. 

 As a believer I think

this is true!

 What good gifts can you see 

from the Father in your life?

Prayer Request Sunday

Trust in him at all times,
 O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.
 Psalm 62:8

Hi Friends!!!

Thank you for the love via prayer, as I took a MUCH needed break from blogging. A super big thank you for those who took the time to check in on me and even blessed me with gifts, you guys are so sweet.  I definitely felt cared about, missed and loved. (good work!)

  It was a good break and I am so thankful to God, for the refreshing that it brought me.

I was very weary and am feeling so much better.  Sometimes we find ourselves in up to our eyeballs, sometimes life becomes too heavy and everything seems to be coming upon us too hard and too fast.  Parenting, homeschooling, friendship, running a household, adoption, my walk with God...it all seemed to be calling for me, and there wasn't enough of me to go around.  So I kept chipping off bits of me, until I found myself very chipped and feeling like I was not a vessel that was road worthy.  A tune-up was in order...will share more on what I did another post...

I am going to slowly approach blogging...a little here, a little there, making sure that I keep it in balance.  I think that sounds good.  I want to do some blog updating, but it seems daunting right now.  (it is almost like I never blogged before...weird, but a true feeling for me.) Pictures need to be updated, perhaps a new banner, a few less of this and a little of that, but boy just thinking about it makes me tired. I am totally self taught in everything this blog has become, now there are even more options out there and it seems like such a big thing to manage.  (does anyone have a blog designer they'd recommend?)

Looking forward to catching up with all of you...you've been on my heart!   I've been praying for you, as God brought you to mind.  What a joy it has been to get to know you over the past several years...oh how I missed you while God *rested me up.*

  May our love for each other grow and may our friendships flourish!

How about some prayer...
what could I share with you this week in prayer?
 Leave me a note in comments and let's get this ball-a-rolling!

Need a Little Happiness? (bluebirds!)

 

Happy?

 

Aren't bluebirds the cutest? 

 For years we have been waiting for them to come and nest in our bluebird box.  A few times we have seen them, but they never stay for long.  I'm afraid we are a little to forest-y in our yard and not quite field-y enough for the little hearts of bluebirds.

With the nasty blizzard 2 weeks ago, 2 mating pairs came to our window feeder.  We didn't know that they were willing to snack on homemade beef suet, but are so happy that they are.  We have seen them several times now.  Each time there is so much excitement in our house.  The fact that they are up close and personal, right at our kitchen window is beyond making my heart pound with LOVE!

I have always had a love for my Father's creatures, but bluebirds hold a special place in my heart. 

 What a heart-picker-upper they are in the midst of winter. 

 Spring must be coming...the bluebirds are pairing up and are working up an appetite!!

 I am feeling happier...how about you?

My Dear Friend...

In just a few days my friend and companion for 11 years, will be moving thousands of miles away.  She has graced my life, holding close not only physically through the good and bad times that these years brought with them, but spiritually too.  We have prayed through the years, seeing both victory and loss in both our lives.  Oh to have a sister in the Lord, to have and to hold!

I am very sad.  

I can't imagine what my life will look like.  I also am sad for my children who will be losing their Aunt Beth and Uncle Nate.  They have poured so generously into all of our lives. How difficult to imagine the coming years without them.  Honestly, I don't want to, but this change isn't in my hands (once again).  

Today we will gather in my living room once again.  We will sip coffee and chat.  We will exchange hearts and not because of  Valentine's Day, but because we are bonded in love.  I will bless her with love, reminding her of her worth and value to my life.  We will separate by many miles, but our hearts will remain tied.

She said we ultimately will land in the same place-

true, 

but somehow right now I am not finding comfort in looking to our arrival in heaven. 

 You see I am selfish, I want her to stay.  I want her to grow old side by side.  I don't like this new direction God is taking us in.  

drats!

But wishes don't make things happen. Sometimes a season comes to an end and not the way you want.  Sometimes you go through seasons where God removes a LOT.  And He waits to see what you will do.  Will you quietly sneak away?  Will you turn your eyes from Him or will you cling all the more to Him?

Looking back, I can see how times like these have brought me closer to Him.  I lost my father while I was pregnant, I lost children to adoptions where God closed the door, I have lost friends who painfully rejected me, I have had recently to release my oldest to a far away corner of the U.S... 

Finding my heart aching for a new season, one that brings a flood of joy and takes away the heaviness that keeps trying to to crush my spirit.  

 Spring is coming, a new season...

hoping with it comes a lightness, that will delight my heart!

Oh Lord, give me strength and courage...to face whatever the next season brings.

I have no talent for making new friends, but oh, such a genius for fidelity to old ones.

                                                               George Du Maurier

The friendship that lasts are those wherein each friend respects the other's dignity

 to the point of not really wanting anything from him.

                                 Cyril Connoly

The proper business of friendship is to inspire life and courage.

                                                       Eustace Budgell

5 Things I Miss About My Girl

Ode to my beautiful married daughter

 who is living on the other coast for now...

5 things i miss about my girl:

5.  Having her within reaching distance

4.  Being able to run my thoughts by her before I make a decision

3. Seeing her cozied up on the couch in my fur blankets

2.  Getting to see what outfit she chose for the day

(her style is so eclectic)

1. Enjoying her company-whether it is at the dinner table (which now sadly, her spot is empty), or in the car on the way to a gathering, or for a trip to the thrift store to see what we can find

Growing up happens so fast.  For the past several weeks since my babe has been gone, I find myself crying at odd times.  I find myself remembering back to when she was a wee lass and the many things we did together.  I keep wondering where the time went.  How she managed to grow up and become a woman before I was able to grasp it. 

Perhaps it is something that never really happens.

  I think when you have a mother's heart, your children are always your babies and it is hard to let them go.  Of course we need to, part of growing up that needs to come.  But it is hard. 

 And if you are a younger mama, my wisdom to you is to not forget that you are on limited time.  Enjoy your children, because they grow up so very fast.  The day comes when you give them a hug and they head out the door.  It is a day that makes your heart ache with a constant gnawing like I have never before known.  

Love your children.  Eat them up. 
 Let them know that you adore them. 

 Time goes quickly and before you know it, you will stand where I stand.  Love deeply, love richly, love freely and love like every moment matters, because you know what, it does!

The Heart of a Child

This one delights the heart of all who meet her.

She can work a room like no other I have ever met.

She is joy unspeakable.

If she comes with me shopping it takes ten times as long, as everyone who passes us is drawn into conversation with her. (I kid you not).  I have seen the crabbiest looking person, be gentled by her presence and soften in the heartbeat of her glance.

And this girl loves God.

How do I know?

Well, our words reflect our heart.  Have you heard yourself lately?

Just saying.

From the backseat of the car I heard her very excited voice.

She repeated her words over and over, in a sing song voice.

I wondered why she would be singing this new song. What had happened there in her booster seat on the way to the car wash?  

Well, the story goes something like this:

Her Mama drives an older suburban, nicknamed "The Tank."

Said Tank has had many problems with windows and doors this past year, as she is showing her age.

My little one's window had only moved an inch or two in the downward direction all summer.  My joyous little one was sad that her window wouldn't go all the way down. Her Papa continued to fix doors and windows repeatedly, but the little one's window continued to defy him.

Somehow by small a miracle it went down~ when she asked me to put her window down. 

 Not a little, but ALL THE WAY down!

Her heart was so full that it bubbled out with the song that went,

" Mama,

God is my Hero, God is my Hero.

GOD IS MY HERO!!!"

Hearts are Made for Love

Sometimes I feel compelled to write down my thoughts.  

Thoughts that some moments run fleeting through my head. 

 Today was such a day.

As the day wound past like a rocket ship aimed at the moon, 

waves of joy and sorrow climbed about my soul.

I wanted to write about my becoming a mother, some 21 years ago and how it altered my every breath since that moment of conception.  How soon that child who leapt within my womb, will be wed and will be an official woman. 

 She will of course always be my baby, as so often she was reminded as she moved from my breast, to my knee, to toddling then running about.  But soon she will have fully left childhood behind and will begin her life that God has opened before her, like a beautiful book yet to be completed.

Today I wondered what that meant for me, if she loses childhood and gains adulthood, what do I look forward to in this seeming loss.  I should be capturing moments, encapsulating them and slowing down time, making sure I've gotten it all down correctly~  Like crossing t's and dotting i's postscript.

Then the day passes and I remember infertility that struck its heavy hand at years of my life.  Seemingly it wanted to steal my joy, instead longing to leave me in a pile of ashes.  But God gives Beauty for ashes and indeed He blew on those ashes and brought forth the beginnings of my tribe that He has assembled from the nations.

 I rush about trying to balance all that wants to try to knock me off balance.  Moments of texting, followed by *the plan* and ending with a sigh of relief when I realized that not all what I thought would happen around dinner time was actually intended for THIS day, but would amble in some time next week. 

 Oh joyful bliss.  

Now to tackle dinner.

Dinner grabbed from this refrigerator, or that one, or the one in the farthest reaches.  Who imagined I would be a mother needing 3 actual refrigerators.  Gathering this and that from the pantry, the cellar or one of the many freezers.  Quickly blending this with that and finding that it all comes together for a well rounded meal that the tribe will later pass from end to end of our old harvesting table.

The moment stopped and I "saw it" as I lay on a blanket under a small tree, looking on as 6 of my littles ran about with the oldest Ethiopian's soccer coach, "Prince Adam."  His team had failed him, not coming to the practice, but my tribe who came merely to watch their limber sister run about, were more than happy to fill in on the girls' practice.  Even the baby was invited to play, how happy she was that Mama forced her to wear 'kickin' shoes' to the field tonight. The noise of joy and the vibrations of love that it echoes.

I looked up and caught a reflection of who I am, the mirror rising from the green grass on which I am laying. Amidst the flannel blanket, tossed with hands full of weeds that are a play dinner of sorts from my youngest bronze skinned daughter.  A knowing comes as what I am doing here on this space of earth.

 I breathed in the cool spring air and lifted up thanks to Him who made all of this journey possible.

In 12 days I will be the M.O.B. 

(or Mother of the Bride, as my girlfriend told me this morning, as we cut out this month's quilting square). 

I don't feel quite ready in my heart. I do know that my Father who has called me to all of this,

 will give me the grace to embrace the moment

 and take joy in the next part of this wild ride.

Hearts are made for LOVE and this heart is so very full.

If you read all of this, bravo...

really I was writing it for me, 

but glad you were able to share my heart.

Heart Matters

A quietness has settled on my heart today. 

 I found it as I took a moment to sit and watch my children playing in a brook in the forest.  I sat on a little heaping hill of moss, reaching around me I found a myriad of little ships for the children to float on the babbling water.  As the ships found their way from the dirt, to my hand, to dirty little boy and girls fists; this quietness fell on my heart.  

I wondered if the ships remembered where they came from.  If they remember the days when they grew in the mighty oak that looked down over the tiny brook in the forest.  When they separated from what they protected all of their early lives, though they were but tiny caps atop the acorn, still they were so important. Did they ever understand their true value and purpose?  Did they have a sense of destiny?

  I wonder if they saw their other portion and had any sadness at their separation.  Perhaps they saw one of my raccoons come and gobble up the little shiny brown part they had been so carefully fastened to. Maybe a squirrel had taken away the acorny goodness to save for such a day as today?  Perhaps they watched and waited from the earth's surface for the acorn that had managed to wriggle it's way into ground, to begin life anew.

As they were pressed into the soil did they hope to be discovered?  Did they feel like they had another purpose?  Did they know they would bring a little brown 4 year old joy unspeakable as she discovered that they floated?  Were they happy to be of use once again.  

Sometimes as mothers I think we wonder such things of our own lives?  My first baby is soon to be married and out of my protection.  Her life is finding it's purpose, after so many years of growing and anticipating such a day.  

My heart is quiet as I tuck memories that rise from the 21 years of mothering her into hidden pockets, to take and chew on later.  Life is so wonderful and full as we mother.  Sometimes our job is hard, challenging, frustrating and maddening, but mostly it is just a joy to be put in such a position.

Engaged ;-) and Waiting on God

Last April JoJo came home for 10 days.  We took a zillion pictures. 
Way back then in April 2011, I never expected that my courting daughter 

would be having a spring wedding this year.

We are excited and can't believe how much God cares about wedding details.

But that shouldn't surprise us because we live knowing that He loves us, that He desires relationship...

REAL-a-tion-ship with us. 

 In order to have a relationship you need to have fellowship with one another.

He keeps showing me how faithful He is.  Every time worry pops up, He instead replaces it with a touch from Him.  My sleep has been deep and good, no more waking up in the middle of the night stuck thinking about whether we need salt and pepper on 25 tables or not.  (really)

to the faithful God is faithful...

to those who honor Him, He honors.

how true, HOW TRUE!

One of our Beauties

 What a transformation this one has had, from catatonic to peace filled. 

We are amazed how God took this broken little 3 year old and transformed her into a kind-hearted, helpful, sensitive, loving young lady.  It seems like just yesterday that she became part of our family.  That she had her first sleep-over to help her transition from foster care into our family.  

Brokenness is something that God does wonders with.  He takes it and holds it close to His heart.  He picks it up and shapes it ever so lovingly and gently back into the creation He intended it to be.  Oh how in awe of His transforming power we are.

Miss Sunshine you are a beauty both inside and out!  

May God hold you in the palm of His hand 

and may you bring Him joy as you continue

 to follow Him into all of your tomorrows.

I Did IT!!

 

I Finished!

I started January 1st, 2011 and on December 29th I completed my reading through the Bible chronologically.  I loved it, as I had never read it in this order before.

I thought getting through this last few weeks on time was nearly impossible, but I burned the candle late some nights to keep on track.  Last night after enjoying a wonderful dinner at my sweet friend Betty's house and arriving home to a sleeping house, I cozied up with a good fat blanket and my last few chapters of Revelation.

Tears were in my eyes as I got to the last few words...

Come Lord Jesus come...

what a wonderful year I had with Him.

I am not sure what I will be studying this year...the Holy Spirit hasn't said much as of yet.  I am asking though, as I want to follow His heart for me and don't want to miss a thing.  I long for deep and meaty times with Him.  I long to have more time in prayer with Him.  I long for Him to transform me into His likeness, definitely less of me and more of Him.  I want Him to teach me how to give to each what they need from me in that moment.  I want to learn to be intentionally present.  I want to be a better listener and a kinder friend.

I have a heart full of adoration and thankfulness for what He called me to, that He enabled me to stick the coarse and finish well.  I encourage each of you to consider reading through the Word this year.  If you've done it before, maybe it is time to begin once again.  I honestly was amazed at how it spoke to me afresh this time through.

I pray He uses it all for His glory and that somehow it encourages you too to press in harder. 

Come Lord Jesus, please do come!

picture courtesy of my friend Jeff Crandall

Christian Parenting....Fruit (part 2)

this is a follow-up to this post

you kind of need to read it to understand the rest of this...

Don't mind the hand picked 3 year old outfit, which consists of her pj top and rain boots-

this story is the testimony of a prayer warrior.

Two confessions to make before I begin...

1.  I am a prayer junkie.  I love to pray and I love to receive prayer.  I look for opportunities to pray for those around me and I am a firm believer that if you are being poured out that you need to be refilled (spiritually and Spirit speaking).  Thankfully at my church we have a prayer ministry team that offers to pray after each service, several times a week I look forward to this refilling and touch from God.

2.  I hear from God and I try to follow through (without fear) when He directs me to speak or pray with someone, though it may be a stranger or unusual place to do so.

here begins the story:

We are at my church and the altar area has been opened up for prayer. Before I can begin to clear a way to the front, my 3 year old Ethiopian daughter, Princess Mercy, taps me and says, "Can I ask you a question Mama?"

I slow down and listen.

She says, "Can little girls go up for prayer too?"  

I hesitate and begin to think of reasons why I shouldn't say yes to this.  Instead I find myself saying yes. (My children have been up for prayer, but usually it is our bringing them up.  None of my children have ever asked to go up at age three.)

So there we stand, leaning on each other and waiting for a prayer minister to come.  Before long one does and she asks how she can pray.  I tell her that my wee one wants prayer.  She bends down and her catcher leans in behind our little girl. 

The prayer minister asks what she would like to pray about.

My wee one looks straight into her eyes and says, " I have a friend named Miss Wendy, she has cancer.  Can we pray that God will heal her and encourage her.  She is very sick."

As I hear the words come out of this tiny little body, I am blessed beyond words.  I had not asked, but trusted that what was on her heart was worthy of prayer.  Thinking it was going to be a rather childish request and would not carry much weight in Kingdom business.  Oh, how wrong I was.

So with a gentle amazed heart we all joined together to pray for our Rhubarb friend, Wendy.  And God heard.  

So parents continue to teach them the way they should go...live it out, Authentic Christianity and be ready for the fruit in your disciples lives.  My heart as a parent is to raise servants of the Living God.  To raise world changers.  Some days we seem so far from this,

but occasionally God in His great mercy gives us a glimpse of fruit!

It's All About that Someone Nominated me...

Okay, this may sound goofy...

or maybe that its my birthday

and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by what God did for me today...

 BUT

I popped over to the 7th Annual Homeschool Blog Awards for 2011 

 and was brought to tears...

WHY?

Because somebody nominated me for 

Favorite Homeschool Mom Blog

really?

I have been so overwhelmed as of late with motherhood, homeschooling

and such that this just rocked my world. 

(mainly feeling like a miserable failure)...

HOWEVER...

Some kind soul (maybe the same person) also nominated me for 

Best Encourager

I'm not asking anyone to vote for me, but as this blog has always about me opening my heart to you,

just thought I'd share what an effect this has had on my soul. 

Thank you from the bottom of this birthday girl's heart.

AND if you have a few moments and want to discover some great new blogs, click on the links under each category and enjoy a magic carpet ride straight to each blog.  I am always amazed at the talent that God has given to so many, the great writing and photography gifts, the beauty of the blogs themselves and the time (I KNOW FIRST HAND) that it takes to make such a blog exist in the first place!  

Yes, blogs can suck the life out of you...make you feel inferior OR you can enjoy a temporary escape into seeing what is going on in someone else's life. Sometimes God even surprises you and brings you a fast new friend (not a fake friend, but the honest to goodness real kind that we all crave!!)  God sure is up to so very much these days (giggle-giggle!)

Feasting On His Goodness

141.  For 2 cords of firewood delivered before the first official snow.

142.  For marshmallows that I leave on branches in the woods for my 3 raccoons.

143.  For dinner over JoJo's dad's house
(our oldest is courting JoJo)

before we all went to church together Wednesday night.
JoJo is currently serving in the Air Force, being trained in structural engineering.
(we are very proud of him!)

144.  For a surprise friendship with a woman named Betty who is a recent widow.

145.  For Betty who is happy to have me for her friend and is quick to say so. Oh how much we love spending time together (did I mention she took 3 of my younger children for Saturday, while I was away ...)

146.  For a weekend away with my Knight (last weekend). 

it was our first weekend away in 4 years.

(without ANY children).

147.  For my children who took over the command with ease.

148.  For finding a new Italian restaurant we loved while we were away.

149.  For our friends Lou and Brenda that blessed us with their beach house for our getaway.  Lou has gone to a Bible study with my husband for years and years.

150.  For 
a man who will fill his pockets with sea glass & shells for me,

and waits patiently

while
  I snap what seemed like a thousand photos of the ocean.

Feasting on His Goodness

131.  So thankful that I don't walk through life alone, but that God is always with me.

132.  Thankful for a daughter who sees opportunities to help me 

(like grading her younger siblings books that are piled waiting for me to correct them) 

and gets busy without being asked.  

*we are considering sending all of our children to Eyob at Emmanuel Children's Home in Waliso, Ethiopia to get taught such awesome servant's hearts.

 ;-)

133.  For peace filled sleep

134.  For my women's Bible study that started up (we are studying First and Second Samuel this year).

135.  That God helped me get through chapter one of 1 Samuel without crying. (As a barren women whose womb God did not open, as He did Hannah's, this is a hard chapter to study).

136.  For a sweet friend, Stacy, 

who emailed me to see how she could pray for me with my parenting trouble at hand.

(and also built me up in so many loving ways with her words.)

137.  For the Holy Spirit who counsels me. 

138.  For a Knight who bends his knee to tell me what

a wonderful mother,

follower of Christ, 

wife 

and friend I am...

even when the rest of the world seems to say the opposite to me with their words. 

139.   For a small silver charm that hangs on my neck that says,

" Jehovah Shalom the Lord our Peace." Judges 6:24

Which reminds me to pray for our daughter who is coming through adoption...

God has called her by name which is Shalom,
(it means wholeness, peace, completeness,

health,  safety soundness, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony,

absence of agitation or discord.)

In modern Hebrew Shelem means to pay for 

and 

Shalum means fully paid.

Sounds like God has both my daughter and my family covered in this adoption!

140.  For afternoon trips to a place I have called My Serene Pleasure, 
which is where my 3 raccoons live now. 
Yesterday we took them food
and left them a bucket of brook caught crayfish for a little late night snack.  

*Oh how I love the woods and this spot on earth that I feel is my own peace of heaven here on earth.