Bittersweet's Embrace

For those of you who are struggling.  

My heart is praying for you now.  Please stop and talk to God about it.  He loves you and cares for you.  He hasn't left you and never will. I pray you find comfort in his arms and that the lies of the enemy will be silenced.

Asking Him for love to flood your spirit and heart and peace to rule your mind.

 

The Power of Words

 

Words

 

 

Words can hurt...

 

words can heal...

 

words can move mountains...

 

and words can drive us to our knees.

 

 

 

Recently words were said to me that sunk down deep and caused me pain.  It is true, words have the ability to speak life or death over our lives.  They brought me to tears, but also drove me to my knees (prayer).  

 

I took it to my Father and asked Him how He wanted me to take these words and use them.  

In the past it would have driven me into isolation, to avoid the pain and to put a safe distance between me and the hurler of unkind words.  Times before it drove me into deep sadness and years of battling rejection.  Wondering what was wrong with me.  The devil must have been doing quite the victory dance over the thoughts and reactions, that were caused by my difficulties with friendships.

This time a realization came to me.  The realization was this:  

If know one likes me (which is not truth, but used as an example), it is okay.  Because I like me,and from now until I take my last breath, I have to live with me. God is number one in my life, family is second and everything else falls in line after these two priorities. 

My mama taught me that we should be kind. 

  My Pastor has spoken for years that we should aim to be nice. 

  God says we should not give up gathering together, but should love one another.  

I try to live this way, but boy sometimes it is really hard to love.

 

Challenging? 

 

 Absolutely, even on the best day, but really it is how we should live every day.

So I am taking the words spoken to me and letting them be sifted through my Father's fingers.  I am asking Him to reveal truth to me and to help me learn and grow from this.

As much as I am tempted to curl up into a ball and isolate, I am going to push myself back out and open myself up (versus shutting down shop and putting up the closed sign on my heart!)

I am going to choose to love. 

 I am going to choose to continue being me, and letting my Father shape me into all that He has for me. I am a work in progress. My hope is to progress, not regress or get stuck.

Words come to us and words leave us.  Words stick and words are hard to erase.  Stop and think what you are saying and ask yourself if someone said this to you, would it encourage you or help you?  If not, let's hold back our thoughts and not take the risk of causing hurt to someone.

Yes, speak the truth in love.  But the whole key is LOVE!

Prayer Request Time and Stuff of Friendship

Hi, so glad you stopped by today.  How is your heart today?

 Wondering if there is anything we could believe together for today?  I'd love to pray with you, connecting hearts as we lift up our requests to God.  He has such a desire that we draw near to Him.  

Simply leave a comment and we'll get started.

If you have something to Praise God for...

well please let us all know so we can give thanks for that too!

I will start...

I have a praise.  Yesterday, I got to spend a most remarkable day with a friend from across the pond.  She is here visiting family, her name is Heini.  She is a ball of sunshine and is a lover of God.  We were able to sneak away alone and shop to our hearts contents. (we both love shopping!!)  My heart and spirit were greatly lifted by God allowing us this time alone together.  I could feel a spirit of heaviness lift as she shared our hearts and giggled throughout Saturday.

 I have been praying for a shopping friend for some time, most of my friends do NOT share the love of shopping that I have.  So though it won't be a regular activity that we get to do, it was still an answer to prayer and so blessed my heart.

 Paul and Heini Euliano,

Pastors of Champion Life Church (Glascow, Scotland)
I borrowed the picture from their blog,
 because we didn't have time to snap photos
 or eat on our shopping day.  We are serious shoppers after all! ;)

 Heini is a beauty inside and out. She is amazing, a strong woman of God, creative, always smiling, full of joy and carries a special prophetic anointing as well.  She has a huge heart and is a bundle of joyful energy.  Everyone that gets close to her is transformed by her bubbly personality.

 We had so much fun running to "Charity shops" as she calls them and pushing our "trolley" through the second hand shops.  We both made out well.  I came home with an amazing buffet and she came home with a pair of sweet cowboy boots and several new sweaters, that will keep her warm in chilly Scotland, where she and her husband Paul pastor, Champion Life Church.  

What a blessing to have a friend who loves to do the things that you love to do.  What a absolute joy that mixed into it all was a very strong sense of His Presence.  Perhaps that was because my dear Heini (Hay-knee) started by praying as I made my way through traffic to our first shop, asking the Holy Spirit to come and bless us in our time together.  And how fun to have a friend with such a cute Finnish Scottish accent, too sweet!

*Thank you Paul for sharing her with me.  Thank you my dear Knight for suring up the home front so I could escape with my Heini for the day.  Thank you Betty (Paul's mum) who made it all happen by giving birth to Paul and being my very dear non-shopping friend.*

Wait on God.  
The wait is so worth it!! 

People Pleasing

honest, this is a struggle, 

*people pleasing.*  

think I've battled it most of my life, not sure if it is due to just wanting to be liked,

 or if it is due to insecurities,

 but truth be told, 

sometimes I find myself doing things just to please others.

i think i find it particularly burdensome when i am longing for friendship. it makes you doubt and hold back, in fear that your actions (or words) will be misconstrued and that rejection will follow. it makes fear lead your actions, it gives fear a foot into the heart and thus allows insecurities to enter. hard to be confident when one is doubt filled.  hard to do much of anything when fear rules the heart and mind.

don't know if any of you have ever been in this boat, 

but then the weight of this battle seems particularly heavy.  

let me give my definition of people pleasing.

people pleasing:  when a person does things in hopes of winning over the other.  often with unspoken desire for praise or encouragement to come, because of the actions or words taken.  not so much out of love, but out of need or want.  it is aiming at the heart of someone else, while silently (perhaps unknowingly) screaming out to be accepted and loved (or even liked).

 it aims at the other, with underlying

desire to meet unspoken *self-needs or wants.*

of course it can be about honoring them, more than you care to honor HIM!

 it comes from not knowing or understanding ones value. 

 it happens when our worth is in the wrong place.
it happens if we invite Him to be Savior, but maybe not Lord (right then).

***

this morning I found myself in a wee little battleground.

scenario:

me sitting in my pj's writing out cards to give to two friends.

In pops God,

 He directs me in what He wants composed within these two pieces of card stock,

 that soon will be slid between two lighter pieces of paper and licked closed.

 He presses me. 

 i hesitate, because really what He is asking me to do is a bit risky.  risky in the fact that it might not be received.  risky in the fact that we are in different openness to His movings.  He reminded me of my need to people please and He challenged me to get it down in ink (His thoughts for them), regardless of acceptance or rejection.  He had stuff to say and He wanted me to get busy.

so...

I did.  

first one (which I am more certain of the embrace it will receive)...

then the other...

praying that as I did,

 He would come and do His work in our lives. 

 That He, not i would be glorified.

 That He not i would be heard.

  that the deep places in these two, would be touched and ignited for His purposes (not mine).

am i healed.  

my famous saying (according to my kids)

"Yup, nope."

i get it, but pretty sure it will come up again and God will let me choose which it will be:

'a people pleasing or God pleasing day.'

 (i say day, because as you know each day is new, 

with new battles to be won and lost. 

 hoping to win more and lose less, but i am a work in process.  ; )

Have a victorious day friends...and choose this day whom you will serve!

Prayer Request (and a bit of a sabbatical...)

 

Welcome to Prayer Request Sunday-

Hope you stopped by to say, "Hi,"

 but also to drop off the things weighing on your heart,

 so we can lift them up to the Lord together.  

I love that about blogging, being tied to the heart, though we've never met face to face most of us.

 I'd love to pray for you this week.

and on to other business...

I am going to take a sabbatical from blogging for a while.  Now I am not sure if a while means a week or much longer than that.  I just feel that I need to be refreshed and stepping away will hopefully be the trick that works the wonders that I am hoping for.  

I really have felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to take 'a break of silence.'  

At first I thought, how can I do that, I am surrounded by people pretty much 24/7.  I thought maybe a week in isolation might be what God was calling me to, but as I don't see how that could be possible with the responsibility I carry here ...then I thought, well maybe I could stay and just be silent (which I guess God might ask of me still). I am not sure how that would work, with our homeschooling, and the kids need for me to help throughout our school day.  So, I pushed that thought aside too.  Then I thought, well maybe 

 a day...

but so far it hasn't gone beyond thinking.

However, the more that I think, the more I think I need to push away from the table of this blog.  I don't think He is asking me to stop, but maybe in the quiet I will know for sure.  I know nothing is forever, but I know that if somehow I even touch one heart, then it is all worth it.

Have any of you taken a retreat in silence?

  I'd love to hear about it.  

I could use some refreshing. Do you feel this way too?  

God has been in a season of some heavy duty closet cleaning in my life.  He has been removing things left and right, family, friends, more friends, even animals.  My heart is somewhat in denial, but I can see that He is clearing out, hopefully preparing me for an exciting new season that is coming.  Loss hurts.  It is easy to slip into the "why me's" and into depression.  I have been fighting it, trying to find the bright side to each new disappearance and what it could mean for the future.  

Can't say I am getting a lot of answers, but the clearing away seems to be pretty dramatic. I've never had a season like this before, boom, boom, boom...one loss after another, piling up like wreckage at a terrible accident scene.  It really has left me spinning and not sure that I am equipped to go on in the journey.  Perhaps a rest stop, "pit stop" to get fixed up and emerge better equipped for the race God is calling me to. 

Please ...KNOW....

Know that I am thinking about you.  

Know that I am so glad that God brought our lives together. 

 I hope He blesses you mightily as you seek His face.  

I covet your prayers! 

Psalm 46:10

"Cease striving and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” 

and I leave you with this from Parker Palmer~

 The soul is like a wild animal—tough, resilient, resourceful, savvy, self-sufficient.  It knows how to survive in hard places.  But it is also shy.  Just like a wild animal, it seeks safety in the dense underbrush.  If we want to see a wild animal, we know that the last thing we should do is go crashing through the woods yelling for it to come out.  But if we will walk quietly into the woods, sit patiently by the base of the tree, and fade into our surroundings, the wild animal we seek might put in an appearance.

xoxoxo

Kimmie

Encouragement for Friday!

Hope you are having a great Friday.  

We are snow bound again...

another 14 inches and falling!

Would love some love notes today!

Praying for America (and a little God story!)

READY?

Moving Mountains Monday, is a day where we purposefully set aside, to pray for our country.

  This is not a special club, but open to anyone who feels the desire to join us.  We pray for our President, we pray for our leaders, our towns, our schools, our neighborhoods...basically anything that sits down here within the boundries of the good U.S. of A. can be covered....no set order, just pray.

 For fun...and to remind my own heart of God's goodness...
the end of this, is a little sharing time of what God is up to behind the scenes in my life.

 

Let's pray for our nation today.  Let's allow some time to listen to the Holy Spirit and let Him lead us in how to stand in the gap for our beloved America.  

Let me know if you are willing to be a gap-minder 

(if you're British the signs near the Tube will flash before your eyes

...Mind the Gap!

...which makes me smile every time I remember.)

Love to you and to yours...thanks for stopping by  (((hug)))  Kimmie

PS- My friend Beth is out house hunting in South Carolina this week with her hubby and child...would you pray God helps them to find what they are desiring?  Beth would want you to pray for God's will for them ;-)

And on the *HOW COOL IS MY GOD*  note....

the same day my sweet dear friend left, I got a love note in my mail. 

 As I am a God-girl I know why the love note came yesterday of all days...

my Father wanted me to know He has doors i don't know about. 

He has plans that i haven't a clue about...

do you want to know about the love letter I got and who it was from??

Well...

an old Christmas card was found,

in it I shared this little love letter (my blog)

...my special best friend from childhood

 (Stori, I think we became friends around 12 years old? ) 

contacted me.

 And we have begun to play catch-up!

  We are both excited  (maybe me more so).  

Anyhow a little God story thrown in for fun!

*a little reminder that God knows what we are going through

 and that He is always watching out for those who love Him.  

My Dear Friend...

In just a few days my friend and companion for 11 years, will be moving thousands of miles away.  She has graced my life, holding close not only physically through the good and bad times that these years brought with them, but spiritually too.  We have prayed through the years, seeing both victory and loss in both our lives.  Oh to have a sister in the Lord, to have and to hold!

I am very sad.  

I can't imagine what my life will look like.  I also am sad for my children who will be losing their Aunt Beth and Uncle Nate.  They have poured so generously into all of our lives. How difficult to imagine the coming years without them.  Honestly, I don't want to, but this change isn't in my hands (once again).  

Today we will gather in my living room once again.  We will sip coffee and chat.  We will exchange hearts and not because of  Valentine's Day, but because we are bonded in love.  I will bless her with love, reminding her of her worth and value to my life.  We will separate by many miles, but our hearts will remain tied.

She said we ultimately will land in the same place-

true, 

but somehow right now I am not finding comfort in looking to our arrival in heaven. 

 You see I am selfish, I want her to stay.  I want her to grow old side by side.  I don't like this new direction God is taking us in.  

drats!

But wishes don't make things happen. Sometimes a season comes to an end and not the way you want.  Sometimes you go through seasons where God removes a LOT.  And He waits to see what you will do.  Will you quietly sneak away?  Will you turn your eyes from Him or will you cling all the more to Him?

Looking back, I can see how times like these have brought me closer to Him.  I lost my father while I was pregnant, I lost children to adoptions where God closed the door, I have lost friends who painfully rejected me, I have had recently to release my oldest to a far away corner of the U.S... 

Finding my heart aching for a new season, one that brings a flood of joy and takes away the heaviness that keeps trying to to crush my spirit.  

 Spring is coming, a new season...

hoping with it comes a lightness, that will delight my heart!

Oh Lord, give me strength and courage...to face whatever the next season brings.

I have no talent for making new friends, but oh, such a genius for fidelity to old ones.

                                                               George Du Maurier

The friendship that lasts are those wherein each friend respects the other's dignity

 to the point of not really wanting anything from him.

                                 Cyril Connoly

The proper business of friendship is to inspire life and courage.

                                                       Eustace Budgell

For My Deaf friends...Bible Resources

Sharing my heart and 

my love of His Word going into all the World...

to my non-deaf friends:  Did you know that the Deaf do not have the complete Bible translated into print, in their language.

 for the American Deaf that would be~American Sign Language.

These links are to help my Deaf friends (all over the world). 

 It will offer you help in understanding God's Word (The Bible). 

 I am praying for you. 

Deaf Missions (help page for the Bible)

ASL Bible Version (dvd format)

 The Bible tells us that God will teach us by His Spirit.  Pray and ask His Spirit to come and teach you.  He will.  Start by confessing sin (wrong things we do).  Ask Him to forgive you.  Ask Him to teach you.  Believe that God will. Do this before you begin to read the Bible.

Reading our Bible is something we need to do everyday. It helps us grow as Christians.  It strengthens our trust (faith) in Him.

  We also need to pray.  Prayer is talking to God.  We pray to the Father God through His Son (Jesus).  The Holy Spirit comes to us and helps us.

Praying you will seek God and His Word.  I pray that you will make time daily to be in His Word.  I pray that you will grow in your faith (trust) in Him.  

Want to read through the New Testament in a year...here is the plan! 

Print it out and follow it.

English Version of the Bible for the Deaf

Deaf Missions is currently working on a Bible in ASL...

keep praying for it to be completed!

Bless you sweet friends!

Moving Away from Home

This is a little memo to my heart and for you my friends... in just a few short moments, my homemade daughter will be leaving. 

 She is flying across the country, far far from the only home she has know.  She is happy.  We are happy too, as she will be going to make her home with her husband.  Her husband has been in the Middle East (Qatar) serving for the past 6 months in the Air Force.  They got married in May, he flew out a week later. She has been waiting home at with us; to which we are most thankful.  

We love our girl.  My heart is torn because of this love.  She is so much like me that I feel like I am losing a bit of myself in her leaving.  We have been inseparable until now.  Not that we aren't both individuals, but our hearts were firmly sewn, so carefully over the years, together.

 Perhaps it was homeschooling her from the beginning, or perhaps it was because children came so very hard to me.  Maybe it was because her name means consecrated to God, because she was a miracle.  We trusted God from the moment we found out that the miracle of "her" had happened.  We dedicated her back to Him from us first hearing that we were to have a daughter.  It was about trust then and I am learning that is still true today.

December 17th she will be leaving home.  I find myself holding her tight at each time I can manage.  I hold her extra tight, even my eyes are squeezed tight, so tight that little droplets find their way out and drip down this Mama's cheeks, making wet spots on wherever they happen to land.  

We adore her Beloved.  He is ours too.  But for now they will be in a far away land.  Too far for holding tight and too far for stitches holding hearts together-side by side anyway.

  She is a woman.  It happens so fast and kind of sneaks up on you. I got a glimpse of it back in the garden, as she slipped gracefully toward the altar on the arm of her handsome Papa.  The Holy Spirit whispered, "You need to let her fly."  I knew He was right, but just didn't know when that moment would be right.  Then I knew.

I am a very blessed Mama.  As I say it I am crying.  God allowed me to raise not only a beautiful 21 year old daughter, but a kindred spirit.  I will miss her something awful.  It will be hard, but God's grace will help us all through this transition.  My beautiful girl will set up house on an Air Force base with the man God's hand picked for her.  They will begin their journey He intended from them, before He ever even gave her to me.  

Love is good.  But love hurts.  Trust is good, but trust stretches us in ways sometimes we never imagine.  

When she leaves she will know she is loved. She knows how proud we are of her and how she has chose to live her life honoring the One we love.  She will know we are grateful for having her as ours and that whether near or far, she is always to be ours and very very loved.  

Life changes and God walks us through it.

Adoption...this Mama needs prayer

First, I want to say that God is Sovereign.  No thing is impossible for Him.  He is faithful and He is Lord over all...over every orphan, over every agency, over the plans of all who love Him, certainly.

Let it be known, "I am a lover of God."

that said- I am struggling big time.

We are using a U. S. agency that is a birth crisis pregnancy center.  We have been with them for 2 years.  We were told the wait would be between 1-3 years.  We have not heard from them for nearly a year.  I have been waiting patiently knowing God knows where our daughter is.  We felt confident in choosing this agency way back when.  I have lost confidence, my spirit is shaky.

Two days ago my Knight contacted the agency.  He made an appointment to talk with our caseworker.  It wasn't good news by any means.  She didn't encourage us to stay the course.  She recommended going another avenue in pursuit of a child.  

She used the word, "trend".

I hate that word.  

Seems that the trend is against us.  Seems that the enemy wants me to quit.  My soul is very heavy and I don't know what it is that I am to do.  

I am praying.

I am fasting.

I am listening for guidance from Him.  

We could easily switch to another program.  We could switch from the African American program...we could do many things, including choosing a new agency.  We could of course say enough and walk away.

Honestly I need help.  

Please don't read this as a discouragement to adoption.  I love adoption, my passion is adoption.  God loves adoption and cares about every orphan that this world holds.  Actually He holds them in the palm of His hand, waiting for families He calls to come for them.

Adoption is a path to His heart.  A path He sets; a path that takes time.  

We have run this race many times before.  Both with great successes, but with several defeats.  The defeats were not to harm us, but to have us cling to Him more fully.  Every closed door led us into an open door to His will.  Those closed doors sometimes took years, but always as we pursued Him, they led to His perfect will.

My family is standing in a place that we can't tell if the door is open or closed.  I am confused and honestly very emotional.  I want His will.  I don't want to go off His path.

Clinging to Him, but would you stand with me in this.

  I could really use some friends and some serious prayer.

thank you.

Friendship

Friendship:

Friendship is a strong and

habitual inclination in two persons

to promote the 

good

and 

happiness in each other.

Joseph Addison

from my heart:

finding myself in a season of oneness.

seems friendship holds a very small window in my days currently.

as I look to the window of friendship it seems that it may be closed

or only have a teeny-tiny crack currently.

finding that time flies so fast each day.

Wondering if God plans to change this...or if this truly is a season of solitude?

Monday Morning Encouragement

A little inspiration for our souls this day:

We must allow the Holy Spirit access, so that we can be changed within, rather than trying

to change the outside of ourselves and hoping that somehow the inside will change too.

(Romans 8)

When we give (yield) each area of our lives to the Spirit of God,

He comes into those areas! (!!!!)

He conforms us (shapes, makes)

us into the image of Christ.

Now this isn't necessarily fast work,

 though certainly all things are possible with God.

But it is giving Him today

 and yielding it all to Him,

 so that today we can look more like Jesus in our lives.

Holy Spirit Come,

 impact our hearts with your truth. 

 Transform us into Your likeness and help us not to lean on our own understanding, but on Yours. 

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Can we brighten your day?

Hope you feel better...I know I do after a good smile is sent my way!

5 Things That Excite You (and me!)

5 Things Series..

This time let's do 5 things that EXCITE you!

Kimmie:

1. The Holy Spirit's voice  (yes, God still speaks)

2.  Adoption- there are 147 million orphans,

minus the 7 God has let my family adopt!
With one still on the way!
*Unicef estimates 210 million as of 2010.
shocking, eh?

3.  Leading someone to Christ: 

Sharing the simple plan of salvation

4.  Walking in the woods amidst all the wonders God has made, the forest is my place of serenity.

5.  A clean house 
(doesn't happen often enough, but hey, it excites me!!)

Now how about you?

Crying Out to God

A little background on this photo first.  I snapped it in a field in Vermont this spring.  When I went to play with it in photo editing (my new favorite is Picmonkey) I saw an image in the grass of a tiny figure with arms raised to heaven.  I outlined it in photo editing so you could see it too.  It seemed to be screaming out to be used, so here she is...

God is in the things all around us certainly.

How can I not Praise Him?

Now on to my heart...

I have been in a semi-stuck state in regards to our current adoption.  It has been a fairly long road so far, with lots of red-tape battle and very little encouragement along the way. I feel like I am in a no-man's land and am crying to get out.  

 I was just asking the Holy Spirit if He could encourage me a bit. I wasn't sure exactly how, but I was ready to receive.  

Ever been there?

Last night we were visiting a church about a half hour from home.  We've been going mid-week for about a month now and have really enjoyed it.  We aren't church hunting, just hungry.  

Last night at this House of God (Bethel), during worship I heard God speak.  I clearly heard several times...

havelah shalom.  

I jotted it down, so not to forget.  I knew it would be for a time I could search it out on the internet, knowing deep down that God was sending me a love note.

Now most of you know that the baby-to -be's name is S.H.A.L.O.M.  I have shared several times on her rescue from abortion to adoption and how God is very into these details.  We have been praying and waiting for nearly 2 years.  

When I plugged in Havelah I learned it was indeed Hebrew (beautiful, wonderful Hebrew!) and that it is a girl's name which means: Beloved, precious.

So God sent me encouragement that this one is beloved and precious to Him. 

 That she is indeed "Havelah Shalom"

...Beloved Wholeness/completeness/peace.

It set tears to my eyes and put Hope again stirred up, within my spirit.

Thank you God,  

And thank you for letting me share His Goodness.

and for Rhonda...

What a blessing to speak to you yesterday. (insert hearts!!)
  After we hung up, God directed me to Psalm 37 for you.

Read it...I loved this part...(5 and 6)

 Commit your way to the Lord [roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass.

 And He will make your uprightness and right standing with God go forth as the light, and your justice and right as [the shining sun of] the noonday.

Be encouraged dear girl...
God is before you in this!

Sharing 5 things (a series)

Got time to slow down for a minute and share a little.  Over the next few weeks I thought it would be fun to share 5 things (in different categories) that will reveal a little more about each of us.  

Hope you will join in!

Today how about:
 5 words that best describe you! 

Kimmie:

easy going

quiet

deep thinker

creative

thrifty

Now its your turn. 

 Sit for a minute and see what rises up within you...give it a minute, as after I wrote my first,

 it took a couple of extra thought minutes to come up with the others. 

(and I am not including a passionate Christ follower
...because this blog clearly states that!)

Can't wait to see what describes you!

Treasures of Time-Honour!

Today is July 4rth, a holiday celebrating our freedoms and our country.  In the quiet of my family's celebration I decided to take some quiet time in my bedroom and do some organizing.  Under my bed lies a vintage suitcase picked up to store treasures in.  It lies waiting under my bed, in anticipation of good things to store up as treasures for me.  I occasionally drag her out and open her up to give my spirit a lift.  

In her belly, which was exceedingly full, are notes, emails, cards (the old fashioned wonderful kind) and all sorts of trinkets i have acquired since 2004.  She was bursting at the seams, so I dragged her out and slowly sorted through her treasure troves. 

What memories flooded back.  Both good times and bad times are within her, and spots of the unequivocal neutral territory of steady smooth times.  I laughed, I teared up, I thanked God for each person that took the time to encourage me.  So many of you were friends across the way that I have met either through adoption journeys or my blog.  I had numerous notes from Stacy, from Tammy, from Anna that did nothing but brighten my then and now.

Stacy thank you for your gift of encouragement and for your prophetic words that you so beautifully shared...each time God moved you to stand with me in prayer and love; you touched my heart in deep deep places.  I love how the Spirit moves you in intercession and how He speaks to you so you can encourage others in the Word and during struggles.  I love your heart for your family and how passionately you do all things.  When I think of you beautiful perfect simplicity comes to heart.  You are so joy filled and content in where God has you planted.  And as a women of the Word, I admire your passion to chase hard after Jesus.  You rock my sweet blog-pushing friend, without you Over the Moon with Joy would not be.  You encouraged me to try it, to follow God into the land that reaches so many.  You befriended me and allowed me to befriend so many others that God brought to me.  There must be a jewel for your crown for this my sweet friend.

Tammy your notes and family pictures brighten my soul.  Looking at your homemade family, the whole huge lot of you inspires me to keep trusting the Lord.  You have a peace filled mothering way about you, I know you walk in wisdom that only come from much time at the feet of Jesus.  As busy as your life must be, you always find time to bless my heart and soul.  You are always generous and the gifts we have from you that didn't make the suitcase, bless us with comfort every day.  You shine with beauty my friend.  I love how you have stepped out into new areas, how you ask for prayer for covering in times when things seem larger than life.  I love how you wear so many hats, hats God has designed just for you, with such grace and beauty.  Your compassion, love and generosity is inspiring to me and I am sure many others.

Anna you probably are totally unaware of how God uses you in my life.  I admire you and your many giftings,  your family and how you guide your bigs and littles, your many homey talents that just seem to ooze out of you and your every ounce of being.  Thank you for standing with us through our adoption road, for coming alongside us, as the Holy Spirit moved you and encouraging our hearts in the process.  Thank you for the gifts you have sent just because I was on your heart.  I hope someday to be as confident and lovely as you Anna.  I am also thankful for the many emails over the years that stepped in to help me to either figure out quilting, African hair care, homeschooling or adoption stuff.  I appreciate you so much!


Okay...though today was a little scary for me;
 emptying my box of encouragement.  
I am ready and eagerly waiting for more goodness to put in her belly.

I encourage each of you to take the time to encourage others.  This week as I was thinking about my gift of encouragement, and I guess complaining a little that it seems like such a tiny thing.  Well God told me that, "Encouragement may seem small, until you need encouragement."

forgive me Lord.  today i see what you mean in mass quantity, as I dumped the contents of years of encouragement out and felt it flood over me yet again.

And thank you my friends for being there for me and for being so faithful in being my encouragers!

And

 run out and get yourself a box, suitcase or some other holding device and be ready to be on the receiving
end of encouragement!  You'll be so glad you did, I promise!!

Something the Holy Spirit said to me...

 

As I have been posting friendship quotes around my house, to share with the ladies that are joining me each week as we dive into, A Confident Heart...the Holy Spirit gave me one to scrawl on my blackboard.

  One of my friends who came over later told me that I reminder her of the butterfly quote. She said that I was a lot like the wind. She said that I gently encourage others, share my wisdom and slowly launch them into the place where they can soar.  Bless my heart, I've never seen me this way.

Would you like to hear it?

Friendship is like the wind

wrapped around a cocoon, 

waiting for the butterfly to emerge

 before lifting it to the skies-

so it can soar.

Embarking on my Journey to Me

                                                     

I found myself unplugging in order to find myself...letting some things go and grasping other things a little bit tighter. Wanting solitude, craving it... but begging for true friendship to rid myself of aloneness.  Asking myself questions that I don't have the answers to, but knowing that sometimes a question needs to be voiced in order to break the silence. In breaking there is always pain that needs to surface. 

 Pain and hurt aren't too big for God.  He can handle all of our whys and how comes. 

This morning I hand wrote out some quotes on friendship that seem to strike at my heart strings. I hung them up around my house.  I knew 6 of my friends would be coming over tonight, to embark on our journey together into finding us in the midst of so much.

  I'd be happy to share a few of them with you too...

my favorite:

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. 

 You've just got to find the ones worth suffering for." 

Bob Marley

then...

 

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you hung on for so very long in the first place." 

Anonymous

and one that might catch your heart too...

"Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."

 Unknown author 

Somehow finding myself means I need to open up to others in my search. Everything in me shouts curl up in a ball, don't take the risk, it is WAY too scary out there.  Friendship you know can be risky business, these matters of the heart.  But realizing that I need to gather in order to reap, so collecting a few of my friends and sharing together what it is that God is up to in our midst.  I know it isn't just me, as my 6 friends all are going through similar times in their lives.

And I am off...