Anxiety Help

Help for those with Anxiety

Hope this opens your eyes and gives you a new outlook

on whatever it is that is causing you to be anxious.

These are from notes I added into my phone
(The Holy Spirit talks to me at different times,
 so I have found it super helpful to use the notepad on my phone)

as I felt the Lord nudging me to learn from Him on this:

Anxiety = a constant fearful uneasiness

Anxiety will never change a past mistake,

 prevent future calamity or supply us with anything we don't already have. 

The primary cause of anxiety 

(or disquietude, which was the word the Lord had whispered to me):

Fear of man

Proverbs 29:25  

The fear of man brings a snare,

 but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.

 

Worry 

accomplishes

NOTHING!

 

 Well, how then can we refocus our hearts and minds?

 Let's jump into the Word of God...

Proverbs 15:13

A merry heat makes a cheerful countenance,

 but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.   

 

 Heart:  our inner seat of our mind, our will and our emotions.  The Bible uses our heart to speak of our innermost source.  Out thoughts spring therefore from our hearts.

We need to focus on the positive things of life, so we can be filled with optimism and confidence.  Focusing on the things that is causing our anxieties (negative thoughts) will only keep us ensnared.  Our anxiety and that negative thought pattern will only keep us stuck in uncertainty and pessimism.

Escape route...the way out!! (Hope!)

Psalm 34:4-6

I sought the Lord, and He heard me, He delivered me from all my fears (anxieties).  They

looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried out, and He saved him out of all his troubles.

David teaches us in this verse that we need to continue to cry out to God in our anxiousness and trust in Him.  God alone is our solution.  He can solve it for us, as we trust it fully to Him.

1 Peter 5: 6-7

Therefore humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Philippians 4: 6-7

Be anxious (fear filled) for nothing (no thing), but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God; And the peace of God, which surpasses understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

So, our solution is taking all our fears, anxieties, and doubts to God.  He will come to our rescue, as we humble ourselves before Him and ask for help to trust Him in it.

Ask God to help you believe:

Isaiah 41:10

"Fear not, for I am with you, be not anxious, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you with my righteous right hand."

Praying you find freedom from anxiety today.  Please let me know if I can help you by joining in you with prayer about it.

A Great Understanding of The Gift of Tongures

The Gift of Tongues

Are you willing to spend 12 minutes on hearing a teaching
on the Gift of Tongues?  Would you humble yourself and ask God
to open your heart to understanding?

 John Bevere's teaching on the Gift of Tongues is the best and clearest I have ever found.  I hope it changes your walk with God.  That is why I have this blog, to offer what I know, in hopes that it will impact your life for the glory of God. God is so big and there is sometimes things He has for us, that honestly, we just don't understand.

I love you and so want you to be blessed and have all the beautiful gifts that God desires for you to have.

If you would like the Closed Caption option...
click on the bottom of the video where the cc symbol is offered.

So what did you think?

Spiritual Authority

From a sound sleep I was awakened.  The voice I heard I knew.  It said with the utmost clarity,

 "She sleeps with her hands on her hips."

He had my attention.  But I wondered what it was that God was saying to me.  His words sank into my head and into my heart, they wouldn't let go.  I shared them with my Knight (isn't he cute!)  and he also wondered what it could mean.

As I pondered it and prayed on the words, it came to me.  Not suddenly, but in a matter of days.  God was telling me that I had spiritual authority.  So much authority that even in my sleep, I was a woman with authority from God.

 God has been putting me into a lot of new arenas. He has put many new people into my life, and in the suddenlies of God, they are looking to me for spiritual direction.  He is making both me and my Knight spiritual parents to people in their 20's, 30's and even 40's.  He also has me passionately chasing after Him each week in serving the homeless and poor.  He uses me to feed them, to clothe them and to guide them into a walk with Him.  I am stretched, but ready for more of Him and His plans for me.

Amazed?  I know I am.

But this girl, who apparently God says, "sleeps with her hands on her hips." and also "sits with her hands on her hips" and "stands with her hands on her hips"-(He began whispering it to me in various forms over several weeks).  This girl who was crying out for God, both day and night, has spiritual authority she needs to utilize!

He said it because I needed to hear it.  He spoke it because I needed to study it and get the revelation of what it is I had been given by Him.  If you are unaware you can't use it.  If you don't know you have it, you can't operate under it.  So I began to dig into it and this is what I know...

"We are given spiritual authority to fulfill the function of our calling and to accomplish the work that the Lord has assigned to us." 

 

My authority is for instruction, it is to help, it is to encourage, it is to offer wisdom to those who are searching for it, to give words of knowledge to those He has prepared for me to speak them to.  My authority comes from God, and as I submit my life to His rule and reign, He opens doors and positions me to operate in the fullness of the authority He has given me.

I am accountable to the Lord for my function and how I perform them.  I am to be building others up and desiring them to fulfill the purposes God has created them to fill.

 I believe with all my heart in discipleship and spiritual mentoring.  In reaching the lost and getting them growing in their faith.  I believe a plugged in Christian is a power-filled Christian.  That one who asks Jesus to be their Savior, needs to learn how to make Him Lord every day thereafter.

Spiritual authority is different from natural authority, it isn't about position, but submission to the One who works all things out for our good.

Still I have much to learn in this, but I am willing.  We are saying yes God and learning to live as He guides us.  And do you know what, it is way cool and way exciting.  A new chapter, full of new people, new adventures and things that God has hoped that I would put my hands on my hips and say, "YES" to.

Honoring Our Airman~ Air Force Tribute!

photo credit Jeff Crandall Photography

A Tribute to my Son-in-Love~ JoJo

Today is your 25th birthday and we want to honor you with a post in tribute not only to this milestone birthday, but to your service to our country.  Thank you for saying 'yes' to God, and signing up to protect and serve us (all) in such trying times. 

 We are so proud of you.  

Though you are my son through marriage to my daughter, we love you as if you were always ours.  I think you were our fastest adoption and you slipped right in with such grace among such an unruly tribe as ours. ;-)

Today you are so many miles away, packing up and heading back to the next adventure God has you and our oldest Princess.  Wish we could help you pack up that truck, or help with the driving all your belongings back to home base.  We are excited to chart your adventure with all of the kids, we have a map and a dry marker ready to follow your course!

JoJo,  thank you for serving us these last four years.  This was our first experience with a family member in the service.  Thank you for keeping us so close to you, through the many miles that kept us apart.  You have blessed not only your new Father and Mother-in-Loves, but all the rest of the smaller tribe members as well.  So many big and little faces here adore you, each and everyone can't wait for you to pull up the gravel driveway and cross our threshold.   We can't wait to hug you, to squeeze you tight and to engage the next step of your married adventure with you at close range (temporarily under our eaves). Yeah and you are bringing back our babe with you too!!

This morning I asked God if He would give you a prophetic word (a love note from the Father!)

My son JoJo,

I am glad you said 'Yes' to my call to this four years of Air Force adventure. 

 It has been a 'training' for you.

I have given you a sensitive-tender spirit.  The ground of your heart is form-able in my hands.  You also have the gift of careful listening and a watchfulness that comes from Me.  As you continue to follow Me, these precepts and quiet understandings will grow.  It is how I made you, but you are still in the process of growing into it.  I will continue to build on this, it is a strength from Me.

 I will show you hidden things, things that others will not be aware of.  You will get insight into spiritual matters (knowing hearts of men/people).  You will have an increased level of discernment and I will show you how to take it and apply it for Kingdom business.  

I have made 'openings' for you~  I go before you.  Some of these openings will seem 'odd' to you.  Pray, and the same knowing that came to you as you embarked onto My path for you into the Air Force, will come.  It is not in the figuring, but in the finding and knowing Me.  

I am pleased with you.  I want you to pursue Me with fantastic, unabounding energy- run after Me!  This run will not leave you road weary, but energized.  It will fill you, drive you and complete you.  The course won't always be easy, but you are made (and up for) the challenge.

 Put your heart in my hand and see my Goodness poured out over your life.

Understanding and Knowledge are my gifts to you-accept them, use them, touch those around you and I do know this will be stretching, however I made you for this purpose.  You will win others to me through relationship-you will speak life to those who don't see the way.  I am The Way-and I will guide you to show them the way.

Son, I love you- follow hard after Me.  It's not about comfort but about coming into my fullness and seeing all I have planned out for you.  The plans are great, the detailing specific~it WILL pour from My heart into yours.

Please son, say 'Yes' again.

Love~

Your Father-in-Heaven

And here are some more for the rest of you to enjoy....

photo credit Jeff Crandall Photography

 

 

all other photos thanks to my daughter Bella!!

 (good sneaky work helping me with this!)

We love you and glad you are ours...

happy 25th birthday and thanks for keeping the Land of the Free just that!

Inspiration!

 

Zechariah and Elizabeth

Expanded Bible

⁵ During the time ·Herod ruled Judea [^Lof Herod, king of Judea], there was a priest named Zechariah who belonged to ·Abijah’s group [the priestly division/order of Abijah; ^Cpriests were divided into twenty-four divisions; 2 Chr. 31:2]. Zechariah’s wife, Elizabeth, came from the ·family [^Ldaughters; ^Cfemale descendants] of Aaron [^Cbrother of Moses and first high priest of Israel; for a priest like Zechariah to marry a woman of priestly ancestry was a special blessing]. ⁶ [^LBoth] Zechariah and Elizabeth ·truly did what God said was good [^Lwere righteous before God]. They ·did [followed; walked in] everything the Lord commanded and were ·without fault [blameless] in keeping his ·law [regulations; requirements]. ⁷ But they had no children, because Elizabeth ·could not have a baby [could not conceive; ^Twas barren], and both of them were very old [Gen. 17:17; 18:11].

A friend of mine sent me a note, in it said she was praying for me and hoped my heart

 wasn't too sore or tender 

( from the adoption journey). I began with 'I am fine', but a few sentences into my correspondence with her, and revelation came that I am nursing a wounded heart. 

Perhaps I knew, but had I buried it, rather deep I must say.

 Later, God directed me to this passage of Scripture, and the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart.  I hadn't realized I was carrying a wounded heart in regards to some of this, but as I read I could feel emotion rising up in my chest. 

You see when you step out to follow God, and He seemingly goes missing, doubt jumps in and tells you how you missed Him.  It jabs you and makes you believe that you aren't walking where God meant for you to walk.  It begins to whisper, then eventually scream, that you are lost and that hopes of finding the way are slim, because look at the mess you've gotten yourself in.  It lies and tells you He has forgotten you. 

 Or worse, that He doesn't care. 

The Word said this to me in correction to that voice (which is not the Lord's)...

Look at these two.  They were serving me.  They were in right standing before me. (holy and righteous) They had the lineage and the life, that backed up who it was they were following.  

They both had wounds, but they served me.  Others didn't know or understand their wounds, but I did. I see the heart after all.

 You see I had a plan.  They were serving Me and loving Me.  They did what they believed and lived wholeheartedly, what they knew. 

  I saw their wounds from being childless.  I saw it come on them with increasing pain as the time wore on in their lives.  I didn't leave them, though personally they wondered why I withheld the blessing (of children) from them.  They wrestled with some of the very same things you have fought in your mind and heart. In time, the wound buried itself deep, they gave up the cry to me, they buried the hope of their dream and desire ever coming true.  But they continued on, trusting me, but living with the pain that lied deep within.

 Do you see I had a plan.  Do you see the blessing had to wait.  Do you know that I am the One who holds the blessings and decides when they should arrive.  Remember dear child, my timing is perfect.  You are not lost; live to serve me, love me and love those in your path.  Don't hold back from loving me and stop listening to the voice that makes you doubt.  That voice isn't mine and never would I send my beloved child into a place of fear of being forgotten. 

 I know. 

 I see and I know what is best for you and those you are crying out for.  Trust me, you will see.

Sharing this, because sharing is what real friends do.  

Girl After God's Heart

Girl After God's Heart 

Episode One:

this is a post for me to share little spots of my heart.

my talks with God.  

prayers.

 poems to Him.

prophetic words.

a glimpse into the life and soul of a girl who is crazy for the God who has called her,

 adopted her,

 and continues to change her into the girl He intends her to become.

The Longing

Deep down in hidden places,

 lies within each,

 a desire,

it has no rest...

but continues silently awaiting for the Master's kiss.

The awakening waits for Him-

planted in the heart, it lingers, 

given at creation 

by the Father.

It lies eternally,

waiting on His Light.

The Light opens up such places,

beckoning to them,

 to come to Him,

Gladly they burst toward the daylight,

Seeking to fulfill destiny's appointment~

Sometimes fearful,

they come forward,

unsure of how welcome they 

truly are,

but as Light brings reassurance,

The Longing knows the Father's heart-

Holy Spirit  filling, drawing,

pulling giftings to the Light,

Oh Eternal Encourager,

help me give you all such places

of my life.

Journaling with God

Journaling with God...

I stepped away from blogging a bit ago, but as I pushed away, I approached God and asked Him a few things that had become heavy on my heart.  I thought I would share some excerpts from my journal, that I bought specific for this task.  This journal entry is from February 6, 2013...as you can see from the snow in this picture.

*I will add that I have been saved by grace, that I am born-again and walking closely with the Lord.  I am in the Word and living daily to please Him.  I know His voice, as do the sheep (Believers) that follow Him.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God told me to relax.  

Drawing myself up beside Him, to learn to do just that.

Lord, this morning this verse rose up in my heart:  This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.  Lord, teach me what this means.

(Holy Spirit):  Choose joy today, over the day, again and again, choose joy.

Lord...so much doubt has crept in, even when You say that, I think, "What does He mean?"  I feel like I need to haul out a dictionary and recheck to make sure I get it.  Lord, that doesn't feel like "relax" to me.  It feels like uncertainty, which seems like fear.  What is *joy* Lord- would you share what you mean in this.

(Holy Spirit):  rejoice is being fixed on my Goodness- it is celebrating me and my Goodness.  It is a reminder that today I want a "party" (celebration about ME)  to rise up within you.  I don't want you to contain the party, but to let it out.  Let it spill out of your heart, out of your mind, out of you.  Let it into whatever you are, throughout the day I have given you. 

 It is a choice to come to *the party*  I have personally invited you. 

 Come, don't try to figure it out, or plan it, just come.  

It begins with you saying, "Yes," to Me, then it flows to you and Me at this party.  After (or while) we fellowship- I expect you to give out (live out) of this celebratory heart (spirit).  Joy is situated in in Me-it is a constant invite into My Presence and communing in celebration (JOY) with Me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let me know if you have any questions on how to start your own journal with God.

Food (for Thought)

"Only one life, 'twill soon be past,

Only what's done for Christ will last."

 -C.T. Studd {1860-1931}

(behind the scenes: my heart)

Today I was studying faith (righteousness). Actually, it started by finishing up study notes from my Pastor's sermon this weekend.  My church has started small groups (growth groups) to help us not only have better fellowship (big churches sometimes find love: fellowship difficult).  We all study Sunday's sermon and discuss it. 

This weekend we weren't in church, well we were, but it was a different church.  We drove an hour away to an Ethiopian church that meets in New Haven.  It was combining with our Ebenezer Evangelical Church (Ethiopia/Eritrean) church; as we lost our pastor last year.  We had an all afternoon celebration of the combining of these two congregations.  It was wonderful.  Honestly never did I think my family would be sitting amongst 100 Ethiopian/Eritreans, listening to Amharic (for 3 hours), having a dear friend (Getch) translate for us, then eating a feast together of their amazing (AMAZING) food.  

beautiful fellowship: LOVE (real stuff!)

 community: different, but filled with love, open hearts and a willingness to let us in.

strange, not what I would have expected
 or where I would have expected it in life.

Anyhow, as I tried to be ready for our growth group tonight, the Holy Spirit began to direct my path...

  I was led to study a sermon by Smith Wigglesworth. 

 I came across this quote (see above) and was convicted to allow the Holy Spirit to renew my view of how I should be living.  I love the Lord, but I think I must have forgotten this truth that all else gets burned up in our life...only what is done for Jesus is what will stand. 

Father forgive me, somehow I lost the vision, renew my heart Lord.

In Jesus' name I ask it.

How does this statement resonate in your soul today?

When God is Silent

Sometimes God is silent. 

 I myself find this hard, as I long to hear His voice.  I am a believer that God speaks to all of us, be it in the heart or to our ears, through strangers, or through friends.  I do not believe God is limited by any means, other than us not allowing Him access.

I think in order to hear Him we need to be open to His voice.  I once went to a church that believed firmly and fixedly that God no longer spoke.  They stood firm that He only spoke through His Word (the Bible) and the no longer needed any other term in which to reach us than this alone.  

However, through personal experience that could not be denied, I had to come to know God and His voice in my life in a very real way.  God had not only spoken to me (with my ears being the receiver), but also through dreams, visions and through angelic visitation.  I could no longer stay in camp with them, but needed to walk in larger fields with my God.

I say this to say that God has been quiet with me lately.  

 He speaks to me through His Word as I daily press into it.  But lately His voice in other areas of my life has been quiet.  I have asked God repeatedly why the silence, why He wasn't answering me?  Most of my questions pertaining to the adoption road He has put us on, and how long we will seemingly wait on this path with so little encouragement.

Last night though His voice was still silent, I heard Him through the Word in Zephaniah 3:17.  I am reading through in the Complete Jewish Bible (CJB).  I wept tears of joy as the words met the desire of my heart to hear from God as I wait.

Adonai your God is right there with you,
as a mighty savior.
He will rejoice over you and be glad,
he will be silent in his love,
he will shout over you with joy.”

So when you can't *hear" Him, know that in Heaven there is sound that doesn't always reach our earthly ears.  Love sometimes is silent.  A silence that means, "I trust you with this."  A quiet that means, "You can follow me in this, even without hearing me."

My heart is fluttering as my Father hasn't forgotten me, but just has decided to allow me a time of quiet in my path to His heart's desires. 

What is your experience with hearing from God...I'd love for you to share! 

The Parable of the Worm

Tuesday I found a few minutes to weed my front yard gardens. 

 If this year had a label it would probably say something like 'Weeds Running Rampant Due to Severe Neglect.'  

Seriously, I think somewhere when my daughter got engaged, I began the steps towards garden neglect.  It's gotten so bad that the side yard garden is taking on weeds never seen before in the history of its existence.  But on to the parable...

I pulled out tons of wild crab grass that had edged its way since its last weeding (ahem in May).  For some reason even without edging tools this garden easily yields to hand plowing. 

 As I dug, many large worms began emerging on the dark soils surface.  I am not sure why, but today they seemed to be particularly beautiful to me.  Now that may seem a strange statement, but I am a nature-loving-worm-holding-type of girl, always have been, so a few years into grown-up hasn't changed that.  However, never had I noticed how shiny and perfect each worm was.  They seemed to be extra reddish and like God glossed them especially for the occasion of this weed purging event.  

I held one in my hand, it wiggled and flipped and then did this, "I'm dead-really!" act for me.  I laid it back down out of the way, but thought of how it was unaware of who I was and that I wasn't looking for a snack, but just admiring it.   I thought of how blind this creature is and how it relies on things other than eyes to do its job of tilling the soil.  How it never looks at itself in the mirror to see just what it looks like to others. I felt a little sad for these worms.

Then I remember how hard it is to find such worms when one wants to go fishing.  How suddenly the yard always seems wormless, no matter where you put the shovel in search.  I remember my friend Keith telling me years ago that they were called "glass worms," the regular yard kind, as when you tried to put them on to the fish hook they would just break, instead of becoming the bait.

Then God's voice spoke to my heart.  He told me that we are much like this worm.  We are often unsure of who we are and who it is that formed us.  Even though we have the ability and the eyes to see into image holders, still we don't see what He sees in us.  We are blind to seeing ourselves and the beauty that He has bestowed into each of us.  

We flip and flop in life just like these regular old yard worms.  We play games with each other to try to hide or protect ourselves.  We have a tendency to go it alone, flipping and flopping in hopes that we will somehow manage through the moments.  Instead of trust, we choose to flip-flop around.  Instead of prayer or fellowship to pull us through hard or suddenly difficult times, instead we blindly fumble about forgetting who we are and whose we are.

He told me that we are often glass like, quickly broken instead of remaining steadfast in our life.  We become overwhelmed by the small things building up, or perhaps by not guarding our hearts as He has so lovingly told us.  We are not keepers or very great containers of His promises, we often are so forgetful of His love and His constant faithfulness.

God is into worms.  He made them with a purpose.  Without them the earth would not flourish, they are under the surface armies who work for Him.  We too are such soldiers, we each have a purpose in His Kingdom.  We are each made with a purpose that He desires for us to live out.  He has plans for us, plans that are good.  He wants us to realize who we are, whose we are and get to the living it out with boldness and confidence that could only come through Him.

Hope this encourages you my wormy friend. 

 When He sees you, you are beautiful to Him.  You are filled with all the beauty that His hand has formed you with.  He is calling you to the surface, into the Son-Light to let the world see who you are and to release the purposes He has given you.

Will you take the mission-will you allow Him to let you see yourself through His mirror?  Will you allow the Holy Spirit to encourage your heart through the plans and purposes He has for you? Won't you yield your weeds to His hand-plowing?  He is inviting you to come!

I am praying for us today. 

 Be blessed my beautiful wormy friends!

Crying Out to God

A little background on this photo first.  I snapped it in a field in Vermont this spring.  When I went to play with it in photo editing (my new favorite is Picmonkey) I saw an image in the grass of a tiny figure with arms raised to heaven.  I outlined it in photo editing so you could see it too.  It seemed to be screaming out to be used, so here she is...

God is in the things all around us certainly.

How can I not Praise Him?

Now on to my heart...

I have been in a semi-stuck state in regards to our current adoption.  It has been a fairly long road so far, with lots of red-tape battle and very little encouragement along the way. I feel like I am in a no-man's land and am crying to get out.  

 I was just asking the Holy Spirit if He could encourage me a bit. I wasn't sure exactly how, but I was ready to receive.  

Ever been there?

Last night we were visiting a church about a half hour from home.  We've been going mid-week for about a month now and have really enjoyed it.  We aren't church hunting, just hungry.  

Last night at this House of God (Bethel), during worship I heard God speak.  I clearly heard several times...

havelah shalom.  

I jotted it down, so not to forget.  I knew it would be for a time I could search it out on the internet, knowing deep down that God was sending me a love note.

Now most of you know that the baby-to -be's name is S.H.A.L.O.M.  I have shared several times on her rescue from abortion to adoption and how God is very into these details.  We have been praying and waiting for nearly 2 years.  

When I plugged in Havelah I learned it was indeed Hebrew (beautiful, wonderful Hebrew!) and that it is a girl's name which means: Beloved, precious.

So God sent me encouragement that this one is beloved and precious to Him. 

 That she is indeed "Havelah Shalom"

...Beloved Wholeness/completeness/peace.

It set tears to my eyes and put Hope again stirred up, within my spirit.

Thank you God,  

And thank you for letting me share His Goodness.

and for Rhonda...

What a blessing to speak to you yesterday. (insert hearts!!)
  After we hung up, God directed me to Psalm 37 for you.

Read it...I loved this part...(5 and 6)

 Commit your way to the Lord [roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass.

 And He will make your uprightness and right standing with God go forth as the light, and your justice and right as [the shining sun of] the noonday.

Be encouraged dear girl...
God is before you in this!

Beautiful and Special (You are too!)

I'll let you chew on the photo for a minute....

*******

Yes, i am letting my baby raccoon nibble my ear...

you know how toddlers are, curious fellows to say the least.

Did I mention I miss my wild little friends from last year?

But this isn't what this post is about REALLY, God told me to share with you what He said to me the other day.  Actually He asked me to share it because some of you don't hear His voice that often in your lives and He wanted you to know what He thinks about you too.

I was sitting in my living room early one morning and my black cat Hope came to sit with me.  Hope has a story, sad to start but with a beautiful ending.  

This isn't a cat story per say; as much as it is a story about love and rescue.  

Hope was abandoned.  She was all of 6 months old when we found her.  She was crouched in a corner of my Mama's barn.  She was sickly looking and crying. She was starving to death.  She wouldn't let us close to her because she was feral, or mostly feral (wild).  However, God has given me a way with hurting creatures and she slowly learned to trust me.  The veternarian I took her to said she wasn't sure she would live; so I named her Hope-though she wasn't truly mine. 

 I named her Hope as a prayer before God, as I hoped she would live.

For days she hid under our bed, when we finally got her home.  She coughed and coughed, she wouldn't eat.  I was afraid she was going to die.  

She was afraid of men.  She was afraid of noises.  She was basically just really afraid.  The love I offered her wasn't safe to her, she didn't know she could trust me.  Slowly she came around.  Honestly it was years before she began to surface when guests came to our house- new voices made her terrified.

For over 8 years I never heard her purr.  One day my oldest beauty told me she purred and I couldn't believe it.  I thought maybe the purr in her had been broken.  Now if the conditions are right Hope will sit with me and purr very quietly.  

She feels safe and can accept our love. 

 She knows whose she is and how we feel about her.  

Hope needless to say brings me great joy.  I love her in a way that comes when you get to be part of healing.  I love her in a very deep and special way because not only did she lived- even when the vet had to squeeze maggots out of her skull before she could come and be ours, but she has overcome.  Death and misery didn't claim her, instead God reached out and answered my prayer for something little to love while we waited on one of our adoptions that seemed to be taking too long. (Guatemala...which never happened for my family...but led us later to Ethiopia where our children were....

but I am now chasing a rabbit).

As she sat on my lap a few days back, I told her out loud how beautiful she was and how special she was to me.  She began to purr louder than usual.  As I loved on her the Holy Spirit came, He said, "The way you feel about Hope, I feel about you."

'really' was my thought, 'why?'

 He told me that I needed to hear it out loud.  He told me that He wanted me to start saying it to myself as a reminder.  I was uncomfortable at first, as I don't really feel this way about me.  But in obedience I did it and do you know what...it made me feel that way.

So give it a try.  Press into God and wait on Him.  But if you don't hear His voice, know that He sent this love note for you too.  He thinks you are beautiful and special and He wants you to feel His love for you. 

 I pray that you ponder it and that His love overwhelms you in ways you NEVER expected!

You are beautiful and very special.  He only made one of you, since the beginning of time.  He has given you unique (unto you) gifts and talents.  He loves you and wants your heart to be filled with that beautiful God (agape) love.  So take it, tuck it in your heart, wrap it around your mind and begin to believe it, because you know what, its true!

Something the Holy Spirit said to me...

 

As I have been posting friendship quotes around my house, to share with the ladies that are joining me each week as we dive into, A Confident Heart...the Holy Spirit gave me one to scrawl on my blackboard.

  One of my friends who came over later told me that I reminder her of the butterfly quote. She said that I was a lot like the wind. She said that I gently encourage others, share my wisdom and slowly launch them into the place where they can soar.  Bless my heart, I've never seen me this way.

Would you like to hear it?

Friendship is like the wind

wrapped around a cocoon, 

waiting for the butterfly to emerge

 before lifting it to the skies-

so it can soar.

Something the Holy Spirit whispered to me yesterday:

Success is not measured in accolades, 

but in how many pieces of your heart that you manage to give away.

Desire for a Prophetic Word?

Deep within me is crying out for God's voice. 

Way down deep, my soul longs for a word,

a Rhema word from Him. 

My church used to have a mid week service where I could receive prayer.  Many times God would speak to me through the prayer minister.  Honestly, as a prayer junkie, I wasn't going up for prayer to receive a prophetic word from God, but just to press into Him more.

So this morning I asked Him why I have this gnawing about a word from Him.  Is it that the prayer option at my church has closed or is it because He is preparing my heart to hear His? Perhaps He is anointing me to hear Him more clearly amidst the noise of each day.

I don't need someone else to speak to me from God,

I have the relationship with Him where He can speak to me any time He wants (and often does). 

However, He uses people to confirm what He is already speaking (or spoken) to our hearts.

The best way I know of receiving a word from the Lord is seeking Him. 

It is by immersing yourself in His Word (the Bible) and humbling yourself before Him.  

He wants us to come to Him.  

He beacons us to Come, especially when we are weary.  A word from Him will satisfy your soul like no other will. Lock on to Him, cling to Him, seek Him, fill yourself with Scripture, fall before Him in worship, song and prayer and see if He doesn't show up.

I am asking Him for ears to hear and a heart that will understand what He speaks; so I can follow through with what direction He is wanting to give to me. Let us draw close to Him and wait on Him.  I could use to be refreshed, I am weary from the road He has called me to.  My road is good, it is blessed, but it is hard work and I am feeling rather empty.  

Oh come Holy Spirit and refill me, speak to me, lead me, 

and Lord help me to hold it in my heart and mind.

I promise it will be well worth the wait.

Wondering When?

To get this you need to have read:

part one

part two

Okay, I am nearly bursting at the seams...

God led me to some special gifts for my new friend Robin.  It was so fun to shop for her, just imagining her face as we bestow God's love on her. 

Funny, some people you know really well are hard to shop for- you can look and look and never be quite satisfied with what you've found for them.  However, I just knew in my heart what she'd like.  I knew what would bless her.  Isn't God cool!

I made it a priority to run errands on Wednesday, so I could offer her a ride home-instead of her taking the bus.  And Thursday, my kids have a Bible club they go to, right in the path my Box Girl takes to get to the bus stop.  So now we've gotten to know each other 3 times.  Time two she was very quiet, I thought I might be annoying her or that she would rather just take the bus.  BUT I know that satan is a liar and that he comes to steal, kill and destroy (God's plans)...so I pressed in past what seemed like a wall, trusting God to open her heart.

AND guess what!!

She let me take her for coffee (Starbucks!)  before I brought her home.  She was much more open and began to share her life with us (I had two kids in tow-my 17 year old and the 3 year old).   I found out she is 29 and began to get glimpses into her heart, through how God led our conversations.  Exciting stuff I tell you!

After we brought her home the three of us ran to a local shop and went Christmas shopping for her.  We located 3 things we wanted to bless her with.  I was so eager to just give them to her, I would have seriously drove back to her house and given them to her just then.  I so want to see her face and to see how God uses this to draw her to Himself.  (my Knight knew I was planning on doing this, he is much more of a generous giver than I have ever been. He encouraged me to go for it, as God led me.)

I instead used self control and decided that I should at least wrap her specially chosen gifts.  I also want to give her a Christmas card (a picture of us) with her gifts.  I am pondering when to give them.  Should I do it today.  Should I give them to her one at a time?  Should I wait closer until  Christmas?  

So hard.  What do you think?

Ministering to Strangers (part two)

This post relates to this

I was pretty mad at myself for not remembering the girl's name.  I kept asking the Holy Spirit to bring it to me, as it is much nicer to know someones name than to have to ask them again for it.  I desired to meet her again and to minister to her heart as God led.  I apologized to the Lord for not getting it the first time.

I was sitting in church the following Wednesday night, as I am worshiping the Holy Spirit says to me,
"Ask the woman behind you where she works.  Ask her if she works at Crestfield Nursing Home."  

'WEIRD,' is what I think, as this is where my box girl works.  I haven't a clue where the woman behind me works, but I know her name.  After service she has gone up front for prayer, but her teenage daughter is still sitting in their seats.  I feel the Lord pressing me to ask her.  I go between excited and nervous as I decide what it is I am going to do here.

I turn around and ask her, "Does your mother work at Crestfield?"

She smiles and says, "Yes."

I am in awe.  I begin to tell this teen the story of my box girl and what the Holy Spirit did last week with her and I.  The teen tries to think if she knows the girl I am talking about.  She starts rattling off possible names, it turns out that her mother is the supervisor who trains all nurses aids on this shift, sometimes Jennifer goes along too.   I thank her and tell her that I will talk to her mother when she returns, as none of the names ring a bell with my heart.

Can you imagine this woman's surprise as I tell her that the Lord told me where she worked and it was all about finding out this girl's name (which happens to be Robin).  She began sharing about her and what a sweet young woman she is.  How things are pretty hard for her and her husband, due to finances.  She thinks her husband lost his job last year and hasn't found a new one yet.  She mentions he is Goth.  I am not really sure what this means, other than I know they dress in black and like a particular style of music.

I am excited about seeing Robin again.  Excited because God continues to amaze me at how He handles details, especially when we come to Him seeking.  I am eager to see how He ministers to her heart and am praying that if she doesn't know Him, that she and her husband will shortly be introduced to Jesus.  

Would you pray?  I don't want to minister out of my thoughts, but out of His wisdom.  I don't want to offend her, but to draw her into His arms.  I want her to know, more than anything that she is deeply loved.  The Father has told me He has spoken the word, "Chosen" over her. I see it hanging, as a necklace, around her neck.

He knows all the details of their hearts and He cares a great deal about them.  I will keep you posted.  If you are willing to pray for Robin, would you let me know?  I plan on giving her a ride home tomorrow...or maybe today if I can work out the details.